June 20, 2013 Musings, ponderings and random acts of celebration.

I've always been rather envious of friends who just seem to get along with everyone.  I wish I had that gift.  Instead, I seem to be the one who manages to either irritate, or be irritated by someone at some point, which creates tension for other people.  I'm not sure what it is I'm doing or why I can't seem to stop it, but frankly, I'm quite tired of this part of my nature.

I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I am very passionate by nature, and tend to express myself in a very overt manner.  I think I also tend to take myself too seriously at times.  I'm sure my friends do too, but they seem to know when to do so and when to put on their "company faces" and just let things roll off.

It just may be that when my friends experience these irritations, they go away and talk it out with a friend who isn't part of the group dynamic, so they put things back in perspective before venturing into the pool again.  Whatever it is, I wish someone would explain to me what it is I'm doing wrong!

On a lighter note, as I've gotten into the habit of preparing my breakfasts and lunches every couple of days, I realize that there is a certain catharticness to chopping up fresh fruits and vegetables.  As I stand at the counter, following my routine every other day, chatting to the cats while I work, I feel the tensions of the day draining out of my body.  I'm not really sure if it's knowing that I'm doing one more good thing for my body, or if it is just the simplicity of the task of selecting an item, cutting it into the size pieces I want, and moving on to the next one.  Whatever it is, between the meal preparations, the tidying up of the kitchen, posting in my blog and the rest of my nightly routines, I have certainly found it easier to fall asleep and, even better, to stay asleep!

I've said it before and I'll say it again:  establishing new, healthy habits benefits us in ways we don't even realize!  I'm also learning not to get overly excited, in either direction, over the numbers on the scale.  At the moment, I'm back up a couple of pounds, but my clothes are fitting looser and I am really starting to see an improvement in the muscle tone in my upper body!  I'm learning to focus on the improvements and to remove my attention to what still needs to be "fixed".  If nothing else, focusing on the parts which are showing improvement brings me joy, not the least of which is the fact that I set myself goals to live a healthier lifestyle, and I've accomplished that!

I've realized that, by basing the success of your goals on the numbers on a scale, you're going to spend a lot of time being frustrated.    But by basing those goals on the fit of your clothes, your energy level, and, for those of us who are no longer spring chickens, by the reduction in aches and pains, the increase in strength to do the simple things, and, best of all, the desire to continue those healthy habits, to the point where you just don't feel right when you miss one!

I still have a lot to learn, in this Human Experience, but I'm learning to celebrate the successes, because as I celebrate the small successes, they begin to accumulate until I'm celebrating more large ones too!

My Goal this week is to celebrate those victories, those successes, with a childlike innocence.  To appreciate each and every small achievement and to share my spirit of celebration with everyone around me.  I'm giving myself permission to embark on a path of random acts of celebration, and challenge myself to find as many reasons as I can!

My first celebration is for coming up with a blog topic for tonight.  When I went into the kitchen to make my lunch, my brain was a great, big blank, but by the time I finished making my wonderful, tasty salad and removed my contacts,  I had found plenty to say, once again, and as an added bonus, a new challenge to set for myself!  If that isn't an excuse for a party, I don't know what is!!!  And all my rowdy friends will be there on Saturday night to help me!



My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for excuses for random acts of celebration.
2. I am grateful for friends who set me good examples.
3. I am grateful for fantastic nights of dancing and friendship.
4. I am grateful for inspiration, from wherever it may come.
5. I am grateful for busy, social weekends (and a massage is an added bonus!)

Love and light.

June 19, 2013 Respecting the paths of others.

Yesterday, I was rather surprised to find a vituperous rant from a fairly well known musician on my Facebook news feed.  He lashed out at people who refuse to accept unconditional love, behaving rudely when they should be falling on their knees in gratitude.  He made a few religious references, stating that he'd pray for these poor, lost souls.

My first, knee-jerk reaction was to be incensed that he had the audacity to be an authority on what another person needed.

But then I took a step back.  I was reminded that in judging him, I was doing exactly what riled me about his rant.  Regardless of how deplorable we might find a person's behavior, the truth is, we have absolutely NO IDEA what path they are on, or what motivates their behavior.  With that reminder came a memory of a woman I allowed to hurt my feelings in a way that was covered in a polite facade of good intentions.  At the time, she and her husband appeared to be the perfect, madly in love couple.  The key word, here, is "appeared".  A few months later, their polite, loving facade fell away as they filed for divorce and went their separate ways.  Clearly, part of what was behind her unkindness to me was her own, well-hidden unhappiness.

We certainly don't have to continue to expose ourselves to unpleasant behavior, but it is not our place to determine whether the behavior is right for their path or not.  To take offense to their behavior is to allow...yes, folks, I said allow their actions to affect us.   And that, my friends, is a choice.

It is also a choice to use a forum like Facebook to air your views on everything under the sun, and heaven knows, I do so on occasion, but try to confine my rants to this blog so people don't get socked in the face with whatever I was unable to control my reactions to.

I've made it pretty clear, on occasion that I have a real problem with so called "Christian values" when someone thinks that part of their belief system is that they have the right to shove their beliefs down someone else's throat, as is the case with the post which has set off my current mini rant.

I believe, with all my heart, that people have the right to accept or deny help without recrimination.  I think that a good Christian or Jew or Buddhist or whatever we call ourselves should understand and respect a person's right to be left alone to work things out themselves.  To pressure them to accept unwanted help is to invite rudeness because, from personal experience, it is sometimes the only way to get these well-meaning but misguided individuals to shut up and go inflict their "help" on someone else.  How utterly audacious it would be for me to assume that I know what is best for someone else!

In fact, when doing any kind of healing, it is imperative that the potential recipient's Higher Self or Guide are consulted before attempting to offer that healing.  If they deny permission, the respectful thing to do is accept the decision and understand that they have their own reasons for declining outside assistance.  The same should be true of offers of help to our physical selves.  We should all understand and respect the fact that "no" means "no".  It doesn't mean, "you can try to help me even though I don't really want your help, but I reserve the right to be rude to you if what you do annoys me!" 

Isn't the decision whether to accept or reject "unconditional love" the same thing?  And while I'm on the subject, if that love was truly unconditional, would it really matter whether it was accepted or not?  Last time I checked, "unconditional" meant to offer something without any expectations.

We are all given trials for a reason.  Those trials allow us to learn now skills and grow both as a human and spiritually.  If we were forced to accept assistance every time things got tough, we'd never learn to be strong for ourselves!  The human race sure wouldn't last very long under those conditions! While some of those trials may appear needless from those of us on the outside, to the one having the experience, it is a necessary part of their growth, and it is we who are selfish if we deny them the opportunity the lesson provides.

It sure gives the words "Love them to death" new meaning!

So let's look at "unconditional love" for a minute.

As a mother, I love my daughters unconditionally.  That doesn't mean I agree with everything they do or say, or even get along with them all the time.  It just means that no matter what they do, I will still love them.  I don't smother them with it, but hope they know I'm there and will love them no matter what happens.  It also doesn't mean that I step in to try to fix things in their lives.  Now that they are adults, I respect that fact and understand that there are times when they have to figure things out for themselves.  If they get stuck, they know that they can come to me, but only if they feel that they want me to be part of the solution.

It isn't always easy to bite my tongue and watch them stumble, but I do know that it is a much better example of my love for them than to deprive them of the lesson they need to learn!

As with everything, when something elicits an emotional reaction in me, I know it is for a reason.  There is something I need to remind myself of because if it bothers me, I'm probably guilty of unwittingly committing the same act.  So thank you to a certain well known musician who reminded me to be respectful of others when I offer help.  If a person declines my help, it is not a personal affront.  They simply need to be allowed to work things out for themselves.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for gentle reminders to treat other people more respectfully.
2. I am grateful for a plethora of learning experiences in my life.
3. I am grateful that I am learning to step back, pause and figure out what the underlying message is.
4. I am grateful for the unconditional love I share with my pets.
5. I am grateful for abundance on all levels:  Love, opportunities, prosperity, health and lessons.

Love and light.