Welcome to my Journey

Hello, and welcome to my Journey. Over the last few years I have been learning more about my personal journey, my Path and my Soul Purpose. The further I travel, the easier I find it to share my journey with others, and to learn from their journeys as well. The most recent evolution has caused me to expand my Universe and allow more people access to my travels, as well as allowing me access to more people, their travels and what they have learned as they walk their own paths. Feel free to share your journey here as we all have much to learn in our lives as Divine Beings having a Human experience.

Love and Light.

Monday, December 30, 2013

December 30, 2013 We've come so far!

On this second to last day of 2013, I find myself marveling over how far, not only I have come, but how far the people closest to me have come as well. 

For myself, I was encouraged by a friend to begin a new journey in July which led me to reassess where I was and where I wanted to be, enabling me to make a huge change in early December.  I finally put my faith in myself and my ability to thrive, and left the confines which were part and parcel of a steady paycheck to follow my dreams. 

In so doing, I not only received a huge outpouring of love and support from the ladies with whom I'm sharing the journey which began in July, but also from friends both new and old, and from my daughter and son-in-law as well.  I am swimming in a pool of such intense, positive energy that sinking isn't even within the realms of my reality.

I find that I am energized to the point of hyperactive these days, unable to sit still for too long without doing something, anything except just sitting and being completely mindless.  Ideas fly through my head like meteorites on crack, and things I have wanted to organize for years are suddenly almost organizing themselves. 

Then there's my daughter and son-in-law who have been thinking and re-thinking their journey, allowing themselves to bide their time when necessary, change directions when it would further their plans, and learn valuable lessons along the way.  Their journey continues, though, for the moment, they don't know where it will take them.  They are excited about going, and where they land first is the least of their concerns (as long as it is a safe environment for their furry and scaly children!). 

I'm learning, more and more, to recognize when I'm negative talking to myself and I put a stop to it quickly, turning it to something beautiful and joyful and abundant. 

Yes, I still have many lessons to learn, many books to get written, many people to work on forgiving.  But life would be boring without something to strive for and unknown marvels around the next corner. 

2014 Happy New Year Pink New Year pictureSo as 2013 winds to a close, my words to 2014 are "Bring it on!  I am ready to party with you!!"

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful to my friend, Barb, who encouraged me to begin the journey towards becoming a healer.
2. I am grateful to the ladies who are sharing my journey.  We are all so different, yet complementary to each other, with our own, unique gifts and perspectives.
3. I am grateful for my dance friends who are always positive, supportive and, best of all, joyful!
4. I am grateful that I will see the New Year in doing what I enjoy most, with many of the people I have come to love and appreciate more than ever this year.
5. I am grateful for the relationship I have with my daughter and son-in-law and for the new journey they are beginning.  The changes to all of our lives will only make us grow better and stronger.

Love and light.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

December 29, 2013 Our world is making progress!

You just have to dig a little deeper to find it sometimes! 

I have some amazing, brilliant, enlightened friends on Facebook and once in awhile, they share something which, I believe, needs even wider exposure than simply sharing it myself on Facebook.   Today is one of those days!  My friend, Megan, shared an article about a teacher in a small town in Illinois which really made me sit up and say "Oh, yeah!"  and then I realized that I needed to share it here as well.


As I really want people to read it and share for themselves, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail except to say that I am thrilled to see that the battle against ignorance comes in unexpected ways and from unexpected directions, and for the sake of our children and for our children's children's children, this is a most amazing thing!

Looking back at what I just wrote, I think "battle" is probably the wrong word, though there are definitely times, like the one mentioned in the article, where people need to band together, like a fighting force, but using words and community as their swords rather than anger, hate and violence. 

When you meet violence with violence, there is really only one outcome.  People will die.  People will be maimed.  Lives will be irrevocably changed, and seldom for the better.  And regardless of who "wins", the pattern will continue, because the loser will continue to be angry and fearful and ignorant, and will eventually rise up to try to take back what they believe they lost. 

I know I've mentioned this before, but there's something weird about "fighting" something.  There's such a negative connotation to that word, and if the word brings up negative images, wouldn't the energy be the same?

At the risk of repeating what so many others have said, here's my take:
Instead of fighting cancer, why not allow health?
Instead of fighting racism, why not promote acceptance?
Instead of hating our politicians, why not love and appreciate the good people they are, deep down inside?
For those who work for someone else, instead of cursing your job, find the things you love about it and embrace them wholeheartedly.  (I did this and was later told that I'd changed in a good way, though the reason wasn't apparent, nor should it have been! :))

In short, I've gotten into the habit of replacing "fight" with "allow", "hate" with "love", and have learned that the time to follow my dream and ignore my fears is right now!

Fear is simply ignorance of our potential.  When we are unable to see what lies ahead, we can react in many ways.  We can fear what lies ahead, slow our steps and even stop, remaining where we are indefinitely so we don't have to face the unknown.  Or we can embrace the potential in not knowing what is ahead of us, trusting that we have, indeed, learned to make lemonade out of lemons if that's what we're given, but knowing that, in truth, most of the time, we get something more wonderful than our feeble human minds can imagine!

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful that I can trust in myself, my guides and the Universe and allow myself to follow the dream.
2. I am grateful for the incredible, electric energy which surrounds my life and offers unbelievable potential.
3. I am grateful for the loving, positive, supportive people who are in my life now, and are joining it in a steady stream.
4. I am grateful for words that come to my fingers, even before my brain even registers them there.
5. I am grateful for quiet days with the wind howling outside my window which encourage me to let the muse run free and wild.

Love and light.

Friday, December 27, 2013

December 27, 2013 Heart Stone

Last night, a dear friend gave me the most marvelous gift ever!  And unbeknownst to her, I'd been wanting one for awhile, though the ones I'd looked at up to now were quartz.  She told me this one was labradorite, but both my daughter and I thought it was Fluorite, and when I looked it up on the internet, found that it did look more like Fluorite, which has some amazing properties! 

Fluorite Gemstone meaning

Formerly called fluorspar, fluorite has a wide range of colors including yellow, blue, pink purple and green. It is an interesting and beautiful stone because often more than one color occurs in a single stone. The ancient Egyptians used flourite to carve statues and scarabs, the Chinese have used it in carvings for over 300 years. In the 18th century, fluorite was powdered in water to relieve the symptoms of kidney disease.
Fluorite is said to absorb and neutralize negative vibrations. It makes one more receptive to the vibrations of other stones. Fluorite should be kept in every room of the home. Fluorite is known as the "Genius Stone".
  • increases concentration
  • helps in decision-making

Healing properties of Fluorite

Fluorite may be used with other stones. It helps to open the way for the power of other stones to be effective. It can be used as a meditation stone to help energize the body and raise the power of concentration.
Healers use it to help with ulcers as well as the respiratory tract by stimulating cell regeneration in these areas. It fortifies bones, improves arthritic or other joint ailments. It can be laid directly on the body.

Pretty cool, I thought!  But that's not even the beginning!  I took the stone out while talking to my daughter, and just held it in my hand, warming it with my body.  I set it down for a few minutes while I gathered water and other things to do a meditation.  When I picked it back up, the darned thing was HOT!!!  Once I held it in my hand again, it cooled back down to my body temperature.

So, did I charge the stone, or was it unhappy to be away from me for even a few minutes?  Has it attuned to me?

I especially love this stone, and, in fact, could not have chosen better myself, because it has some cracks and cloudy spots some might call flaws, but which I call character.

When I shone my desk lamp on the heart stone, I noticed a bright, almost emerald green patch inside the stone, at the bottom of one of the curves at the top of the heart.  On the opposite side of the curve is a vein of less intense green.  The top of the heart is almost clear so that you can look down inside the heart to see veining and what appears to be crystalline pieces on top of stone.

Both sides of the heart appear to have cracks.  On one side, it runs diagonally from top left to bottom right.  On the other side, it bisects the heart from left to right, near the bottom. This crack has a solid, white colored spot near the far right side.

On the side with the diagonal crack, there is what appears to be a heart within a heart.  On the right side, is a very clear, green vein which forms the top loop of the heart.  Inside the green vein, the rest of the heart forms in deep, purple, set slightly off-center, to the left side of the heart.

Although the heart stone is primarily purple, there are definite veins and patches of green, from the subtlest to the most intense.  There are crystalline sections which are nearly clear, and a couple of patches of cloudy white, one at the top and one near the bottom.

All in all, I will spend a lot of time both studying and connecting with this stone, as it appears to me that it has come into my life for a very definite reason.  The fact that I have been looking at them, but never chose one for myself is, I believe, significant.  The fact that this, particular friend gave it to me is also significant.  I tease her and her husband for being yentas but they are so filled with love and have a very strong, abiding marriage and connection with each other.

Just the other night, she tried to fix me up with a new guy who's been coming into the club where we dance.  I learned yesterday that he's just finalizing a divorce and will be going on the line dance cruise.  OK, so he is definitely easy on the eyes.  But I have been keeping my distance as I tend to be rather clumsy when I feel even the slightest attraction.  But I appreciate the fact that he's really making an effort to learn to dance.

The dance world is a crazy place, though.  There are more women than men who love to dance on a regular basis so when  new man shows up with a desire to dance, it is rarely very long, if he's at all inclined, before one of those women hooks up with him.  Some of them just talk to him and listen.  Others are more aggressive.  It depends a lot on the man and what he's receptive to.  Rarely do I notice that the man actually seeks out a particular woman, but then, I admit I don't watch too closely.  What I typically notice is that a new man is learning the dances.  The next thing I usually notice is that he's found a lady friend.  What happens in the middle is a complete mystery to me!

However (and this is a biggie!), I really did seem to feel his energy last night.  OK, it could have been my imagination, wishful thinking or indigestion, but I really felt especially sparkly last night.

Clearly, if it is time for me to add a dimension to my life, I will be able to do what's necessary to move things into alignment.  Time will definitely tell.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends who know what I need.
2. I am grateful for all of the love and affection and laughter I am enjoying.
3. I am grateful that I'm done wrapping for another year.
4. I am grateful that I only have a few more things to clean up to clear the Christmas dust away.
5. I am grateful for the upgrade my adopted son did to my computers (even if I lost VPN temporarily due to my own mistake!)

Love and light.

Monday, December 23, 2013

December 23, 2013 And the odd dreams begin again

Last night I had the strangest dreams....

Yep, my quiet, forgettable dreaming nights have ended far too soon.  Once again, I'm taunted by dreams which remain in my mind long after I've achieved wakefulness as a result of both my musical cat and strong doses of caffeine.  Once again, I'm waking with the first thought in my head being "Huh????"

This morning's dreams seemed to focus around bathrooms.  (OK, so my bladder was also telling me to get up, in not-so-subtle ways!)

In the first dream, I had to return to Target for something.  I had been there earlier and the place was pretty empty, but this time, the parking lot was a mess and people were waiting in long lines for rest rooms which were placed outside on the north wall of the building.  I really needed to go and noticed that there were a couple of them which had very short lines, so I joined one.  The woman in line before me went in and the next thing I knew, she had picked the whole toilet up and turned it upside down and was shaking it!  She said she was unclogging it, but in an utterly novel manner!!!  As I waited, I started talking to a young woman I didn't recognize, but somehow knew worked for my old employer.  She was telling me about a task order they were getting for $208,000 which they'd been expecting as it used up the money from something-or-other.  I told her I already knew about it as I'd run into one of the owners of the company when I was in Target earlier, and he'd told me about it.  (weird as they'd have no real reason to bring up company business with me, especially in the middle of a store, but I did say the dreams were weird!)  As we talked, people apparently cut in line ahead of us without our realizing it, and there were now a couple of dozen people ahead of us.  I finally said, "screw it!", told my bladder to wait and went into the store to get what I needed.

Back at the house, I was having some trouble with my bath tub, and a plumber just happened to be there to shut off the water by crawling under the tub (ok, so I can't figure this one out either, but wait!  It gets weirder!)

We fixed the problem and I assume, turned the water back on.   Meanwhile, we had a pad of cement in the back yard on which we were installing some kind of mechanism.  Later in the day, when I turned on the shower, no water came out.  A man who just happened to be there suggested that it was electrical and, in fact, there were wires under my tub, though heaven only knows why!  There was an opening under the tub, but it was no longer big enough for anyone to crawl under to turn the water on or off.  I also mentioned that it had been working just fine in the morning!

The man told me that we had a limited amount of time to find the problem, though I wasn't clear as to whether it was because he had to leave, would only fix it for free for a certain amount of time, or because it would prove dangerous if left for too long.  At any rate, I remembered the pad in the back yard, so we went outside to check on the installation.  There was a single lightbulb on a pole and when I turned it on, it caused a spark, then went out.  He determined that that was the problem and went off to fix it.

So I'll be left wondering how electrical and plumbing can conspire to cross each other's wires and result in failure while finishing the last of my Christmassing and trying to remember where I put a particular gift which needs to be delivered!

On another note, I failed to find an acceptable Chinese restaurant for tomorrow's festivities, so we are deviating from tradition tonight to have Italian food for dinner!  These days, the Chinese aren't the only ones who work on Christmas Eve, thanks to good old, American greed!  But I am going to feed into that greed to honor or family tradition of Christmas Eve dinner out.  I will not, however, buy into this "shop around the clock" mentality that companies are establishing this year!  I feel bad for the people who have to work when the rest of us are snug in our beds, just to satisfy some corporation's idea of grabbing that last buck!

But the choice belongs to the shoppers.  If not enough shop in the middle of the night to warrant keeping the lights on all night, I'm sure that those corporations will rethink their strategy for next year!

I can still wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and hope that everyone's holiday is bright and filled with family, friends and, most of all, love!

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for the love and humor with which I am surrounded.
2. I am grateful to be able to provide a safe temporary home for my friends beautiful, fluffy boy.
3. I am grateful for all of the blessings I have received this year.
4. I am grateful for the new life I have undertaken, and all of the opportunities it is giving me already.
5. I am grateful for continued opportunities to help make the world a better place, and the examples my daughter sets for me.

Love and light

Sunday, December 22, 2013

December 22, 2013 Holiday thoughts

As we close in on Christmas 2013,  I am fortunate to be able to get my tasks completed with less stress than I have had in years.  I rise when I wake, enjoy my coffee, breakfast and kitties before picking up the day's tasks, be it accounting work, Christmas wrapping or errands, and am gracefully flowing into Christmas with all of the joys of the season filling my very soul.

Tonight, I was fortunate enough to spend the evening dancing, sharing, loving and exuding joy with my dance friends.  In fact, we were so full of joy that Santa Claus had to come join the fun!  The love, the camaraderie, the laughter, the shared jokes it was all there!

Whether it was one of my dance partners keeping me laughing through three or four two step songs and a couple of couples' dances, or another friend not so subtly trying to find me a man, it was all done with love and affection, and the sharing of the moments was extra special tonight!

I know that, in the midst of it all, I'll finish the wrapping, find Mathom's missing stocking, get a clean bill of health for Chris' beautiful fluffy boy, Snowball, so he can finally play with Dylan without the bathroom door between them, and be ready for our traditional Jewish Christmas Eve dinner with time to spare.  In fact, I might even get some work done on my book between now and then if luck is with me!

Although I have carried my gratitude throughout the year, via my blog, my Joy Jar, and just every day thankfulness for all the blessing I have been enjoying, I feel that gratitude almost to the point of overwhelming right now.

I have enough work, enough money, enough time, and best of all, more than enough love and friendship!  I am one very lucky woman!  All of those twisting, winding, switchbacking roads I've traveled have led me here, and without the challenges along the way, I wouldn't have gotten to this wonderful, amazing place filled with the most incredible people I've ever seen!  Each and every one of them inspires me in their own way, and my life is fuller and more beautiful for the experiences!

So tonight, I'm going to name a few names, and show my gratitude to those who inspire me.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful to Judy and Ron and Barb and Michelle and Meaghan who have helped me find my spiritual path.
2. I am grateful to Heather and Candy who have believed in me even when I lost sight of what was truly important, and without whom, I might never have taken the leap of faith which has me at nearly 60,000 words of the first book in my Transition Series.
3. I am grateful to Merry and Bea and Lorna and Deb and Julie and Barbara and Barb and Frankie and Richard and so many more for reminding me what an amazing place I was able to grow up in, and look back upon, and see what incredible adults we have become for the experience.
4. I am grateful to Heather and Mathom who make life interesting and fun and unusual...but never, ever boring!
5. I am grateful to Jesse and Darian who have been loyal friends to my daughter, and have added depth to my life for many years now.
6. I am grateful to Dezi and Brian, Linda and Paul, Judy and Ron, Joy and Bruno, Lisa and Ric and, again, so many others who have,  shown me, not only that we can all live and love together no matter what our spiritual path, nor what we call the positive thoughts we send each other, be it prayer, energy, or anything else, but that deep. abiding love exists for all of us, no matter how far we might have drifted away from it in our search for ourselves.
7. And finally, I am grateful for the people I met through the Ultimate Blog Challenge, like Liz and Deb, who have helped me to not only boost the traffic on this blog, but to gain the confidence to follow my dream as they've followed theirs.

I love you all, and can't even find the words to tell you how much I appreciate your being a part of my life.

Love and light.  (and happy holidays, whatever you might celebrate!)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

December 17, 2013 Rockin' the To Do list.

I'm happy to say that even when I'm not really trying, I've been able to knock things off of my To Do list on a regular basis!  Today, alone, I got through about 5 things, and part of a sixth!  In short, I did some writing, got my tree up, wrapped a few presents and sent a box off to my granddaughter.  I also delivered a gift to my manicurist and got in a run to Costco to cash my rebate check and pick up a few things. 

Tomorrow, I have a haircut and some work for a client, though I'm also expecting to see some other things coming in which will have to be added to my list.

I'm liking this list thing because it not only keeps me on track, but it gives me some much needed attagirls when I feel like I haven't accomplished much.

Gift wrapping is shaping up to be particularly challenging this year, thanks to my feline children.  Dylan and Munchkin think ribbons are there for their culinary enjoyment and Dylan has also taken on the fake tree.  What goofballs!  But the fact that my living room has been turned into Santa's gift wrapping workshop severely limits the poor dears' play space.  I suppose they feel justified in taking their frustration out on unwary packages and trees!

Meanwhile, the nest I made out of a blanket and a stuffed calico cat for my elderly cat, on the mistaken assumption that she was sleeping on the floor because she could no longer make it up onto my bed is either lying empty or being occupied by Dylan.  Patches has seen fit to show me that, despite her 16 years and stiffening of her springs, making her way onto my bed is not a problem at all, but was merely a choice.  She has since made a new choice and can be found on my bed all night long and for most of the day as well!  (potty and food runs notwithstanding!)

So the holidays are chugging right along, but I'm not quite as panicked (yet) by how much I have yet to wrap.  I supposed I'm a little too lackadaisical about it right now, but will hit that "Oh, my gawd!  Christmas is only two days away and I still have a kazillion things to wrap!" stage very soon, assuming I don't kick up the wrapping between now and then!  But why should this Christmas be any different than any other?  Just because I'm working from home and getting my errands done during less busy times does not mean that I'm working any less.  The only thing I'm really missing at this point is an hour's worth of commuting every day.  (and my gas tank is still 3/4 full although I filled it up over a week ago!)

So, this is me, happy ho, ho, ho-ing as I get into my holiday mode, a bit later than normal this year, but I'm there!  I look at my house and wonder what I can drag out of the storage room to spruce things up a bit, as if the colorful packages under the tree aren't already making it look a lot like Christmas!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for all of the tasks which are keeping me busy, happy and productive.
2. I am grateful for the things I've completed, as they allow me more time to do the rest of the things I need to dol
3. I am grateful for the successes that are occurring both for me and for my kids!
4. I am grateful for the cats who give me a reason to laugh every single day!
5. I am grateful for all of the joy I'm finding when I venture out into the world these days.  May it continue without end!

Love and light.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

December 15, 2013 Winding down a lazy weekend.

Things have been rather quiet around here for the last couple of days.  I guess this is the calm part, huh? 

I got past the allergy cruddy eyes by Friday, had a lovely dinner and did a bit of shopping with the kids, on Friday night, and actually got a workout and some errands in on Saturday.  But the allergy symptoms have to run their course and today started in the wee hours with a screaming headache that sent me for the new herbal allergy pills, a couple of aleve and the somewhat upright position on my sofa.  Of course, the cats came to add their comfort to the scene, but when I woke again with my head hurting, I decided a bit of movement was called for (and it WAS almost 10:00 AM by then!) 

The kitties, of course, lacked even a modicum of understanding for their late breakfast!  But I soon got some coffee into me and started feeling somewhat human, albeit very lazy. 

I have forgiven myself for taking more than my share of lazy days over the past week.  But I've learned that when I'm inclined to be lazy for a couple of days, it is generally an omen of busy days to come and time to get my body and mind in gear for the onslaught.

So, I treasure the day of relaxation and kitty cuddling, and hope they'll understand when they don't get as many pets as they think they deserve, despite the fact that I'm at home and really should be taking time out to pet them, say, every 5 minutes or so. 

So I set the coffee pot up for a normal work week, when the lovely, fragrant brew will assault my nostrils fairly early, getting me in gear for errands, a possible workout and some writing on the morrow. 

May your days be merry and bright!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that my body warns me when a day of rest is a really good idea in preparation for a great deal of busyness.
2. I am grateful that my older cat, Patches, turned her back on the nice little nest I made her in her new favorite sleeping spot next to my laundry hamper and showed me that, despite her advanced years, she could still manage to get up onto my bed all by herself, thankyouverymuch!
3. I am grateful for warm pajamas on cold nights.
4. I am grateful for thirst that reminds me to consume more water.
5. I am grateful for sleepy eyes which tell me that an early bedtime will not be a bad idea, even if it's way out of character.

Love and light.

Friday, December 13, 2013

December 13, 2013 Singin' the Christmas shopping blues...with a full tummy and a happy heart.

My daughter stopped by tonight and as I dug through all of my Amazon boxes looking for a Crayola box I was certain I'd bought, I discovered a few things:
   1. I somehow ended up with not one but two Ninja bullet sets from Kohl's.
   2. The Crayola set was nowhere to be found and when I checked my receipts, it wasn't there either.

It seems that I must have missed getting the Crayolas paid for and now had to re-order them for my Toys for Tots gift.  As for the Ninja, well, I got 2 for about half price, so either I'll keep one and give it to someone else later, or just keep it for myself as a Santa present.  Either way works for me. 
Gotta love online shopping in the middle of the night!  Guess I'll be looking more closely next year, huh?

I ended up getting out of the house for the first time since my allergies decided to make me look like a red eyed raccoon, and I'm glad I did.  I enjoyed a lovely dinner with the kids and then got some of my shopping done as well.  Not to mention, getting out and walking around after sitting for the better part of three days did me worlds of good!  It is a beautiful evening here, chilly, but not windy (at least until tomorrow when rumor has it the winds will be returning) and a nice night to walk around in the outdoor mall.  Although, when they had to unlock the doors to let us leave the Hallmark store, we were all surprised that it had gotten so late while we ate and then strolled.

All in all, it was a perfect way to end my first week of self-employment (and yes, not only did I get some writing done, I also put in some billable hours and finalized the contract with my former employer to do contract work!)

I am feeling pretty darned good about myself, my life and the choices I've made!  2013 is going out with a bang, and 2014 will be my most amazing year yet!  (although, if my typing skills continue to be as bad as they are tonight, I might have to invest in a Dragon!)

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that the herbal remedy we got from a friend knocked the bejeebers out of my allergies.
2. I am grateful for the day of rest from contacts I gave my eyes.
3. I am grateful for the plethora of story ideas that keep dancing through my dreams.
4. I am grateful for all of the joys of the holidays, and how they follow me all year long!
5. I am grateful for the clearing of all my debt in the next few months, thanks to lots of success in my chosen endeavors.

Love and light.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

December 11, 2013 OK, so what is the Universe trying to tell me this time?

Last night was one of those nights when I was entertained by a parade of weird dreams, some of which were apparently brought on by outside influences.

Sometime in the dark of the early morning, I was awoken from a dream in which my face was being vigorously washed by a rough cat tongue.  Upon awakening, I discovered that my darling Toby (who has, unlike Dylan, not learned the concept of "gentle tongue") was, indeed, giving my a cat facial.  The only way I was able to get away from his insistent bathing was to put a pillow over my face!  He has never done that before.

The next dream took place at Borderline where the crowd was extremely thin and most of the people were strangers to me.  I finally left my table on the freeway side and moved my things to a booth (there are no booths at Borderline) on the parking lot side, near where my friend, Bill, usually sits.  The music being played was very odd for the pre-class time period, and the DJ booth was dark.  The owner said that the whole booth wasn't working and that he had debated whether or not to even open because of it.  In the meantime, Bill was running a bunch of extension cords and such to hook a small stereo up to the sound system.  Te weird part of that was that, although the stereo only had a CD player, he had a table with a bunch of LP's on it.  I tried to get out on the floor to dance a solo Cowboy Cha Cha, but kept messing it up as I seemed to forget the sequence of the dance, and, when I looked at other dancers, they weren't dancing the normal sequence either, but seemed to be in sync with each other while I was not.  Feeling an urge to use the bathroom, I went over and discreetly pulled a couple of Cottonelle wipes from a box I had left under my jacket.

In the next dream, I had a very odd assortment of animals including a chicken who was using the cat's sand box, and had the runs.  When I called the vet, they started talking about cysts and other medical conditions which could cause this in a chicken, and I was getting ready to take said bird to the vet when I awoke. 

There doesn't seem to be any kind of common thread here, so I'm going to ponder it awhile before I write more.

After a long day of researching insurance, working on the setup for one client and the contract with another, knocking out a few more chores and adding another 2000 or so words to my novel, I'm no closer to understanding what messages I might have been given mean.  So I'll simply ask for clarification and sleep on it! :)

I did get the kitchen put back in order, finally, while sitting on hold, waiting for the California version of the insurance act got around to me.  And though I only stepped outside to get the mail today, the wind did it's work and has left me with goopy eyes and a stuffy head.  Thank goodness for the neti pot!!!  I can at least breathe, even if my sinuses are swollen.  And, I know that, this, too, shall pass, and I'll be back out there, kicking up dust in no time!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for less productive days which make me appreciate the ones when I am unstoppbable.
2. I am grateful for days when I feel less than par to make me appreciate the majority of the days that I feel wonderful!
3. I am grateful for getting a few more things off of my to do list without adding an equal number back.
4. I am grateful for consistency with my writing, even when it means staying up until 1 or 2 AM to make it happen.
5. I am grateful for warm kitty bodies to snuggle with on these cold, blustery nights.

Love and light.

Monday, December 9, 2013

December 10, 2013 Change in perspective

As recently as last week, this was me:
But it's amazing what a change a week can make.  As I sit here, delaying going out into the cold, windy morning to start my gym routine again, I find that my perspective is more like this.

animated happy dance photo: happy Dance (Small Animated Bodyshot) mz_4309081_bodyshot_175x233.gif  What a difference a day, makes!

In truth, Mondays were less and less like the "before" picture above since I gave my notice at work. Instead, I was starting to say "Only 3 more Mondays...only 2 more Mondays...and finally, this is the last Monday I'll have to wake to an alarm, get up, get dressed and, <shudder>  commute!"

Now granted, my commute, compared to that of others, was not too bad.  20 minutes through beautiful, tree lined highways on a good day, 35 on a bad one, and occasionally, over an hour when idiocy stalked the route between my house and my office.

But being able to get up when I feel like it (Toby, the feline alarm clock notwithstanding), drink my coffee leisurely, catch up on email and such, and then head off to the gym as one of the many items on my growing To-Do list is, frankly, a little slice of heaven!  Granted, my To-Do list could be daunting if I let it.  But I figure that all I can do is mark things off one at a time, so I'm not going to sweat it if I only mark one or two things off today.

I know that I'll have days when I am lucky to check one item off my list, and others when I'm a productivity ninja, and both are equally important!  What I will try to remember, though, is to give myself lots of attagirls every time I do check something off of that list!

And I'm feeling pretty good about today.  I got the comforter Scooby horked on washed, the first of two loads of clothes through the washer, my desk completely cleaned off (a two hour job all by itself!), my first gym workout done, and got groceries and vitamins!  Pretty good for my first day of no work, and I got this post started early in the day as a bonus!

I'm feeling very confident that I can and will be able to maintain the schedules I've set for myself, and that I can be organized and efficient when necessary.

The only thing I seem to be missing right now is an appetite!  (not that this is a bad thing, really!)  It is nearly 6:30 and all I've eaten today is a couple of small pieces of cheese before going to the gym, a bagel with cheese and onion and an apple for lunch, and lots of water.  I'm currently debating whether or not I even want to bother heating up some turkey soup.  Guess I'll just listen to my body on this one!

For now, I'm grateful for the things I did accomplish, including a leisurely gym workout with lots of stretching at the end.  I'm also grateful that tomorrow's regime includes both a massage and a manicure!  I could definitely be a productivity ninja in between the two, despite the fact that the uncluttering of my office is, for now, limited to the desk.  But since that is the most important place for clutter to be gone, I am very pleased.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for my ever-growing to do list.
2. I am grateful for the things I was able to remove from said list.
3. I am grateful for the excellent start I made on my new life.
4. I am grateful for the picture of daffodils I found during my cleaning, to remind me of the rebirth of me!
5. I am grateful for so much to do to fill my days, while still being able to follow my own schedule.

Love and light.

December 9, 2013 Rebirth: Daffodils and Redwoods.

daffodils photo: daffodils daffodils.jpgThis weekend at my A.R.T. class, my teacher gave me a birthday party.  She said that the new life I'm embarking upon is (and I'm not quoting her directly here) like being born into a new place.  So, essentially, it is a rebirth.  Interestingly, many other things I experienced this weekend point to that rebirth.  I saw daffodils in a practice session in which I was the recipient, and upon googling daffodils, my teacher found a page which described daffodils as signifying rebirth.

I also got a very strong picture of a giant redwood which had treehouses in the branches.  At first they seemed to be independent little worlds of their own, but later, I saw suspended bridges connecting them.  I believe this signifies my writing career and the stories I will tell.

Research into the redwoods yielded a lot of information, including the fact that they not only have new versions of themselves which can start quite a ways up the trunk, but that they also support an entire ecosystem in their boughs, far above the forest floor.  Again, I find the symbolism significant for me at this juncture in my life.

Although I have yet to pick my book back up since finishing the 50,000 word challenge last weekend, I will be continuing the habit of writing at least 2,000 words a day.  Though I was going to start tonight, I know that the weekends I have class are very intense, and not always conducive to letting my creativity flow.  Tomorrow will be soon enough, and will certainly be great once I get my office cleared as I'd like.

If all goes as planned, I'll get up by 8 and, after coffee and a light snack of a breakfast, head to the gym.  Afterwards, I'll get some grocery shopping done, then come home to start turning my office into a clear place to work.  There will definitely be smudging involved after my cleaning and organizing frenzy.  I want all of the energy to be clear for me to finish my first book and get it edited and ready to publish.

Unlike last night, I have no intention of staying up until 3 AM, though, once I'm back to my writing, I'm sure that will not be uncommon.  For the most part, I will be setting my own work hours which may or may not coincide with what the world sees as office job hours.  I never really fit into a niche, and now is definitely the time to live by my own timetable.  That means that I will no longer live my life according to a clock or to someone else's idea of normal work hours.

I will work the hours I need to to get whatever is on my plate done.  If, some days, that is only 2 hours and others, it is 12-14, that's what works for me.  For tomorrow, I'm inclined to ignore the phone and only answer email when it doesn't conflict with my other plans for the day, but the one thing I don't want to do is to become rigid in any way.  Rigidity and creativity are not a good mix!

I don't know right now if I'll work 10 hours doing accounting this month or 100, or somewhere in between.  What I do know is that the Universe is finally pleased with the direction I'm taking and will be right there with me (we are one, after all) to see me through wherever this takes me. I know that guidance will come when I need it, and when I don't, my world will be quiet while I walk my path.

I realized today that I will likely not be ready to follow a path of healing when my A.R.T. class ends in June.  I need to pursue other education before I can truly become the healer I envision.  I have a feeling that some of that education will come in the form of research for books, and one of the topics I intend to pursue is Shamanism.

I might even try to grow something without killing it for a change.  The one thing I am not setting for myself is strict boundaries.  I want to be able to dabble in whatever I find interesting.  If I go on to actually do something with it, fine.  If it just becomes material for a book, well that's fine too.

In short, I am finally giving myself the freedom, the permission,. to be whatever I want to be.  Tomorrow, I might be a fairy princess.  The next day, an astronaut.  Who knows?  The main thing is, I will have fun doing, imagining, being.  And that is truly what life is all about!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for my A.R.T. class who helped me to realize that I was killing myself slowly, doing something that didn't satisfy my passion.
2. I am grateful for my cats who are tuned into my new energy, and loving it.
3. I am grateful for the people who encourage me.
4. I am grateful for my ability to allow what I need to come to me.
5. I am grateful for the healing sessions which give me titillating glimpses of my own possibilities, and make me want to know more!

Love and light.

Friday, December 6, 2013

December 6, 2013 The day has come!

Well, after a couple of insanely crazy weeks (is that redundant?), I have come to the end of my four weeks' notice and am, for all intents and purposes, a free woman!  I have no more requirements to show up at a regular time at a regular place, but, instead, will need to generate some business to sustain me physically, and write my little butt off to sustain me spiritually!  I think it's a fair trade!

It was a little sad to walk away from a job I've held for almost 6 years, but knowing deep in the depth of the soul that, not only is it the right thing to do, it is really the ONLY thing for me to do! 

I know I'll have some work in the coming months, though, how much is yet to be seen.  But I have no fear that I will have enough work to accomplish all of the lofty goals I've set for myself while allowing me ample time to ply the trade of my passion. 

There are so many things I want to accomplish in the next 3 weeks or so.  I will surely need to make lists in order to keep myself on track.

But, after my class this weekend, the first order of business will be to organize my space.  To that end, I ordered a new desk chair to replace the one I'm currently using which is rapidly losing parts of itself, never to be joined together again!

I did catch up on my homework, though, admittedly, it wasn't one of my better jobs.  The reading was interesting, despite the fact that it put me to sleep at a disgustingly early hour the other night, and the questions weren't too bad.  I just wasn't able to do everything I needed to for the class over the last 3 weeks.  I just had too much going on! 

While things are a bit calmer, I don't really expect them to slow down much. 

For now, I'm going to take a few deep breaths, take care of myself in ways I have missed through the craziness, and get into a new routine which involves healthy eating, adequate exercise, sunshine, and extended bouts of writing   I will also spend a lot of time just snuggling with my cats and organizing my space so it helps my soul to breathe!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for all of the opportunities that are lining up, waiting for me to pick them.
2. I am grateful for having been able to leave on a positive note, leaving doors open.
3. I am grateful for time to spend with my cats, even while I'm working and doing things which will take me places I've always wanted to go.
4. I am grateful for the abundance in my life on far too many levels to mention!
5. I am grateful for the encouragement and sometimes even ass kicking I'm getting from those who love me, in spite of my many faults! (or maybe even, because of them?)

Love and light.

December 5, 2013 It's finally here!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love ya tomorrow.  It's only a day away!

And also a day away is my last day of work!  After tomorrow, I'll consult, I'll freelance, but best of all, I'll write!!!  A portion of every day will be dedicated to following my passion, perfecting my craft, and best of all, getting something ready for publication! 

The die has been set, the wheels put in motion!  I'll be doing what I love and loving what I'm doing.  I've already proven to myself that I can get the imagination flowing if I just stop trying so hard and allow it to come..

Funny how allowing transmutes to other parts of our lives.  Sure, I'm allowing the good things to come to me...allowing abundance.  But I never even considered allowing creativity!  What was I thinking???

Creativity is the most wonderful thing of all to allow!  It feeds the soul!  It nourishes the deepest darkest part of me! 

OK, so I've neglected the homework for my class and am going to have to scramble to get it done in time.  I've failed to get the practice in I needed, but with a shorter span between classes, and a holiday week in between, added to my last week of work!  Well, I'm not going to get myself in a dither.  I know I'll get everything done that I need to, though the quality this time may suffer a bit.  I'll make up for it in the months to come!  I've freed myself up (or so I'd like to believe) to give my all to the things which are most important. 

I'll pursue those things with all of the passion of my being and the results will reflect that passion.

Whether I heal with my words or with my other tools, it will all be coming from my heart and be unencumbered by having to follow a life which depends on a clock! 

I feel so free and so passionate and so...light!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that my leap of faith is proving to be such an amazing decision.
2. I am grateful for the abundance which is in my life and which is attracting more to me.  I feel filled with love and joy and passion and creativity.
3. I am grateful for all of the people who have supported and applauded my decision.
4. I am grateful for all of the time to spend with my kitties for company while I follow my passion.
5. I am grateful for nights of pure, sweet sleep.

Love and light.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

December 2, 2013 Ascension

This year has gone faster than a bullet train, but the last three months have certainly been the speediest.  In a conversation today, as well as in energy updates, we are seeing a lot of changes occurring, and my life certainly is proof that what everyone is predicting is coming to pass. 

How people handle these changes varies from person to person, though part of it may just be where they are in their lives.  Those who have the combined stress of work and parenthood seem to be having a tougher time with it, although, from the outside looking in, there may well be other factors that I just don't see.  Part of the Ascension process involves dealing with the things you still carry but no longer need.  Letting go can be an extremely traumatic experience.

Part of it might just be, for me, that I've been letting go of things for awhile now, and it no longer causes me the pain it has in the past.  Certainly, letting go of some things is harder than others, but the things I'm letting go of this month are bringing me nothing but joy.  The new disciplines I'm learning are also bringing me a great deal of joy because they are helping me to realize my wildest dreams is beautiful, living technicolor!

I do know that if I had begun this process 10 years ago when I still had two teenagers in the house, things could well have been quite different.  But it is clear to me that joining the ART Apprentice program came at exactly the right time for me, just as Loki's passing came at just the right time for both her and me.  Just as the 50,000 word challenge came at just the right time for me.  And just as quitting my job is coming at the right time, and is exactly what I need right now! 

Regardless of whether timing seems right or wrong, the changes are going to occur.  Like anything else in life, the way we handle the changes and challenges has a lot to do with the lessons we've spent this lifetime learning, and those we are having the most trouble with.

For me, I find that certain people challenge me (read, try my patience), so I know that they are being put into my life for a reason.  I still have a lot to learn in the way of patience.  But they also challenge me to love, forgive, accept and refrain from judging.  As long as I am still guilty of the sins, I will continue to be presented with lessons to prove that I have learned the lessons.

So in this month of December when Adjustment is called for, I will be realigning my life, expanding my horizons, finishing my novel (the first in the series), doing some side work, the amount is yet to be determined, and continuing to do things to improve me.  I know that the single most important thing I need to do is to maintain my positivity, and the way to do that is to practice an attitude of gratitude.  If it becomes necessary to walk away from one or two people in my life, I'll know that to do so is best for both of us.  We will have satisfied the purpose we had in each others' lives and will, hopefully, be grateful for the experience, however brief it might have been.

So in keeping with my plan, tonight's gratitudes are:
1. I am grateful for the people who come into my life for a reason to help me learn a particular lesson.  Without them, I wouldn't grow.
2. I am grateful for different perspectives.  They make me more compassionate with those who are finding adapting to be more difficult than I am.
3. I am grateful for opportunities to just let go.
4. I am grateful for the way my cats keep an eye on me when I'm home, seldom allowing me to be alone in a room for long.
5. I am grateful for the love and encouragement of my friends, and their willingness to celebrate with me, whether the reason is large or small.

Love and light.

Monday, December 2, 2013

December 1, 2013 Move over, Dora the Explorer! Sheri the Writer is movin' in!

It occurs to me, as I hear about so many people my age and younger who either have health issues or have chosen to return to the Sea of Souls that one of two things (or maybe a little of both) is evident in my life.  I am very blessed with good health and a minimum of physical limitations, and/or there are things I'm here to do that I have not yet done, so I need to be healthy and happy in order to fulfill my purpose(s) for this lifetime.

Frankly, I don't think these things are mutually exclusive, especially since my health begins in my energy body, and my energy body knows whether I still have things to accomplish.    Either way, I'm grateful for how things are working out, and look forward to whatever the future might bring.

Tomorrow begins my last week as a full-time employee, but also marks the week after the 30 day challenge.  Much was neglected while I fulfilled the challenge and dealt with Loki's passing, so it will also be a week of catching up on homework, bills, and a variety of other things which can no longer be pushed aside. 

But it wasn't as if I was idle this weekend either.  Thanksgiving was its usual cooking frenzy, made more interesting by the fact that the breakers in my electrical panel chose mid day to commit Hari Kiri.  Friday was spent running back and forth to Home Depot, helping my adopted son fix the thing, then cleaning up the kitchen, once power was restored. 

With my newly cleaned kitchen came soup making which took care of itself once all was in the pot while I finished the last 8000 words of the challenge.  12 hours later, I had one of the most beautiful broths imaginable, and it was allowed to cool so that fat could be skimmed.

My reward, of course, was a delightful night of dancing with friends, and a later night than usual, as I was still wired from my success with the challenge.

Today found me up early, chopping veggies to add to the soup, followed by a trip to the base with the kids to do Christmas shopping.

Finally met my new neighbors, just as I finished cleaning the turkey to go back into the pot.  They're a lovely young couple who are following their own passions in their new home, and we talked for quite awhile (my ADD didn't help as we jumped from topic to topic, returning often to the subject of cooking as she is still learning.  I offered my assistance should she need it.  I still find it a surprise to find people who don't cook, since my girls learned from a young age, but everyone is different, and not everyone had a mom who went from burning water to self taught gourmet cook like I did.  My girls had a lot of examples and as a result, love to cook, and are good seat of their pants cooks as well.

But now, here I sit, kitchen cleaned for what seems like the 90th time this weekend, soup put away and gearing up for that last week of work.  Soon, it will be time to put my home office to rights and proceed with the new life I've set for myself.

I can't wait for the adventure to begin!

Oh, wait!  It already has!!! 

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the adventures of my past and those yet to come.
2. I am grateful that I have a refrigerator full of homemade turkey soup.
3. I am grateful for the bed full of kitties who await my warm body on this balmy winter night.
4. I am grateful for friends who allow me to be an ear for them and share in life's challenges.
5. I am grateful for raising the rent in my head so toxic personalities will be inclined to take their business elsewhere.  My higher vibration is not their happy place! :)

Love and light.