Welcome to my Journey

Hello, and welcome to my Journey. Over the last few years I have been learning more about my personal journey, my Path and my Soul Purpose. The further I travel, the easier I find it to share my journey with others, and to learn from their journeys as well. The most recent evolution has caused me to expand my Universe and allow more people access to my travels, as well as allowing me access to more people, their travels and what they have learned as they walk their own paths. Feel free to share your journey here as we all have much to learn in our lives as Divine Beings having a Human experience.

Love and Light.

Friday, August 30, 2013

August 30, 2013 Hot August Nights...but no Neil!

Our summer weather has finally hit us with a vengeance and we are all doing our best to beat the heat.  For me, it means adjusting the temperature every few minutes because I just can't seem to maintain an even level.  At work, I switch between turning on the fan in my office and putting on a long sleeved shirt I keep around for when I get cold.  At home, it means turning on the ceiling fans and adjusting the thermostat.  Right now, my skin feels cool, but I feel overheated, so I guess it's the internal thermostat that is on the fritz. 

Granted, I'm still working on ridding my body of the sinus infection so that may have something to do with it...if this were only an issue right now.  But the truth is, I cycle from hot to cold to hot again with disturbing regularity, and no, I no longer suffer hot flashes!

It does seem to have gotten worse since I started playing with my energy., so I'm sure that has something to do with it. 

Speaking of playing with energy, I made an interesting discovery today.  In order to start working with one of my energy centers, I no longer need to sweep energy up from my feet a few times.  I simply concentrate on the energy center and I feel the energy start to move.  As the exercises seemed to have been somewhat progressive, I'm guessing that I've just moved to the next level, with the ultimate goal being the calling up of energy from any of those centers at will.

Even more bizarre is watching my cats fight over who gets to sit closest to me.  Earlier tonight, Dylan practically sat on Munchkin until she got disgusted and moved, only to return to my side once he'd gone back to the floor where it's coolest on his shaggy back. 

But all in all, the energy work is going well.  I'm tuning into my body and its needs a lot better.  I'm getting a few twinges, hums, flutters and pains, all of which make me aware of what's going on inside and around me.   The work is challenging and I'm learning a lot!  Sometimes I wonder if my brain can hold all of this new knowledge without going into overload.  Guess I'll just have to archive some of the older knowledge! 

Of continuing challenge is keeping positive thoughts.   I find myself drifting into negative territory at times, and have taken to using the "cancel, clear, delete" command to move it through me and out.  Some things just require hearing the command more than others!  The more I learn, the more I find I need to learn!  Yikes!!!  But my brain is happy with all of the new concepts,. so it's all good!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for air conditioning at home, work and in my car during this heat wave.
2. I am grateful for all of the things I'm learning.
3. I am grateful that the energy practice gets easier and more immediate as time goes on.
4. I am grateful for opportunities to use what I'm learning.
5. I am grateful for improvements in the health of those around me.

Love and light.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

August 29, 2013 Natural remedies rock!

I am happy to report that the sinus infection that flattened me earlier this week now has its tail between its legs and is running for more friendly ground thanks to that old standby, chicken soup, combined with massive amounts of vitamin C and that lovely bee product, Propolis.  Never again will I allow myself to run out of this wonderful natural antibiotic and immunity booster!

While the infection is still in my system, I've increased my normal dose of 1000 mg in the morning to 1500 mg in the morning and again in the evening.  After only a day and a half, I woke without a headache or neck pain, with clear sinuses and a lot more energy.  Granted, I've also added a couple of hours of sleep to the mix, but fighting an infection takes a lot of energy!

I also did a little self-healing yesterday and blanketed my sinuses with some heart energy.  I felt the effects almost immediately!  No wonder Loki keeps asking for some of that healing energy!  I think she wanted some last night, but by the time she asked, I was more focused on sleep.  I'll make sure she gets some when I get home tonight as, if nothing else, her appetite has been improving. 

I've also been practicing some exercises which are supposed to stimulate my energy centers, also known as chakras.  I'm finding that the ones which were blocked are starting to open as a result with both pleasant and unpleasant physical indications.  The tinglings and flutterings are ok, but the tightness and cramping is less fun, though, from what I'm learning in my reading, all part of the process.

And I love finding that I'm on the right track!  The reading today included a section about using the elements for shielding and to boost the power of the healing energy.  I've been using the elements for shielding for years, and, in fact, taught the girls to shield that way.  Granted, the author uses much more active forms of the elements and combines them differently than I have, but the overall concept is the same.  Thinking about it, if I was going to combine fire, air and water, I think I'd envision a gully washer of a thunderstorm.  He gave a bunch of examples, but I think it really comes down to what each individual can relate to.  A volcano and lava are all well and fine, but most of us have not experienced the intensity of a volcano, so we might be better able to visualize something within our range of experiences.  But it gives me something to think about and points me in a direction which will enable me to experiment until I find what works for me.

Some of the author's ideas seemed a little goofy to me for now, and some, like envisioning a set of pinchers to pluck out a tumor, seem a bit dangerous.  I can't see myself (at least not right now) removing physical maladies, but I'm only beginning this journey.  I will, however, treat this particular area with extreme caution, if I address it at all.  Some physical ailments are just not meant to be taken lightly.  I think I'm still carrying some skepticism as a result of hearing the people prominent in promoting the values of positive energy and the like, losing their battles with cancer.  I just can't quite connect the dots to understand why they couldn't just heal themselves or call upon some of their associates to assist in the process.

The only answer I have right now is that I have a lot to learn!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that the natural path I'm taking is alleviating the symptoms of my sinus infection.
2. I am grateful for the long weekend coming up.
3. I am grateful for a few lighter days at work while I heal.
4. I am grateful for the extra sleep I've been getting.
5. I am grateful for time to do some chores, work on homework and practice what I'm learning.

Love and light.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

August 28, 2013 The more things change, the more they stay the same.

As I sit here, seeking inspiration, Sonny and Cher's "The Beat Goes On" is running through my head reminding me that the music from my youth is still extremely relevant today. 

The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da

Charleston was once the rage, uh huh
History has turned the page, uh huh
The mini skirts the current thing, uh huh
Teenybopper is our newborn king, uh huh

The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da

The grocery store's the super mart, uh huh
Little girls still break their hearts, uh huh
And men still keep on marching off to war
Electrically they keep a baseball score

The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da

Grandmas sit in chairs and reminisce
Boys keep chasing girls to get a kiss
The cars keep going faster all the time
Bums still cry "hey buddy, have you got a dime"

The beat goes on, the beat goes on
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain
La de da de de, la de da de da

I can still remember being glued to the TV when the Sonny and Cher show came on and enjoying the campiness of it, the simplicity that was life in those days.  That, I'm afraid, has changed, but the theme of the song, "the more things change, the more they stay the same" still lives on.

We still face the challenges of childhood, the angst of the teen years and our entry into the responsibilities of adulthood, ready or not.  Along the way, many of us meet someone, make a commitment, have a couple of kids and grow old together or not.  Many of us discover that the choice we made at a low point in our lives is not such a good fit as we grow, acquire new skills and gain confidence.

We learn that what we attracted when our self-esteem wasn't even measurable itches and chafes because we grew while our perfect fit stayed the same.  Nobody is to blame.  We simply chose different life paths.  One chose to change and adapt and one chose to stay in their comfort zone.  Each choice is valid as long as the only one who has to live with the choice is the one who made it.

One of the many things I've learned as I travel this current path of Human existence is that we all have a right to our choices because the consequences and the rewards from those choices are directly tied to what we came here to learn.  By trying to take away the choices, the consequences or the rewards from another person, is to deny them the right to learn.

It took me a long time to learn to just get out of the way and let the people I love learn their own lessons without trying to fix things for them.  Although it hurts to watch them stumble, I finally understand that it's the stumbling that makes them more steady for the next time, the tripping, falling and picking themselves up that teaches them confidence, perseverance and high self-esteem.  It also means that when they put all of the pieces together in a manner that yields the results they want, they have that shining moment when they can stand up and say "I did it!" and bask in the glory of their own accomplishments.

In a way, I was lucky.  I was allowed to stumble and fall, to fail before I succeeded and to take pride in my own accomplishments.  But I learned what feels like the wrong lesson because it made me believe that I had to try to smooth the road for others, especially my children.  Frankly, in retrospect, I didn't do them any favors as all I did was to delay the process for them.    Don't get me wrong.  I'm not beating myself up over the choices I made as they led to the lessons I've learned, just as the choices my daughters have been allowed to make without my interference for the last few years have led to their own lessons...and will continue to do so for all of us.

The best lessons I have taken away from all of this are to allow and to forgive.  Of the two, forgiving is definitely the hardest, and one I continue to practice nearly every day, especially when I have a negative reaction to someone who was less than fair, honest or compassionate, and who I allowed to mistreat me.  I work hard to forgive their behavior and feel compassion for a person who was inclined to behave the way they did.  Then I take on the monumental task of forgiving myself for allowing them to do so, and for reacting.  Truth be told, forgiving is a lifelong process, maybe many lifetimes worth!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the lessons I've learned.
2. I am grateful that I've learned to allow.
3. I am grateful for natural remedies for annoying maladies.
4. I am grateful for another early night.
5. I am grateful for accomplishments, both large and small.

Love and light.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

August 27, 2013 Presents and Jewish Penicillin for me!

I arrived home today to find that my package from Bennet's Honey Farm had arrived.  I am so excited because it means that I can get back to my healthy, infectionless self!  I brought the box into the house, wrestled it open, dug through a ton of shredded paper to find my precious jar of 500 Propolis capsules.  After pouring myself a big glass of high pulp orange juice, I downed three of them, then heated up my chicken soup.  I'm leaving nothing to chance, here. 

If Jewish penicillin, massive quantities of vitamin C and the natural antibiotics from our friends, the bees can't cure what ails me, no mere doctor with chemically produced antibiotics will either.  And I've certainly learned my lesson.  I will never allow myself to run out of the Propolis again!  I can't believe I didn't connect the dots when I started getting sick way too often after I ran out!  I sure could have used one of those Universal headslaps about two months ago!!!

While I'm not a full on naturopath, my body has, over the years, told me in no uncertain terms that antibiotics made by man with chemicals are very, very bad for me.  If I don't pay attention, it produces a charming little allergic reaction to remind me I need to listen to this physical form which carries me around every day.  I'm even beginning to see the value in eating a lot of raw foods.  (and no, sushi doesn't count!) 

Let's take salad vs. french fries.  After eating a salad, I feel satisfied but not stuffed and energized rather than ready for a nap.  After eating french fries, I feel slightly nauseous, overly full and tired.  Or how about a veggie omelet vs. a stack of pancakes.  While pancakes are yummy, they sit in my stomach like a ball of lead while my veggie scramble gives me energy and keeps my brain alert.

That is not to say that I don't eat a pancake or a french fry now and then, but I've moved away from making a meal of either item. 

At any rate, I'm still treating myself to extra sleep until this infection or cold or whatever the heck it might be moves on to annoy someone else, so here are my gratitudes for tonight.

1. I am grateful to have pinpointed the problem and received the solution.
2. I am grateful for a very productive day at work today.
3. I am grateful for being available when friends and family need a little venting to prevent unpleasant and damaging explosions.
4. I am grateful for healthy eating habits.
5. I am grateful for the opportunity to get back into my gym routine once my lungs and chest are clear again.

Love and light.

Monday, August 26, 2013

August 26, 2013 AFV moments that weren't (Thank goodness!)

Have you ever found yourself having one of those moments when you are extremely grateful that one of your family members or friends with the sick sense of humor is (thankfully) not lurking around somewhere with a video camera??

Living alone definitely has its high points, and assembling the shelf unit for my bathroom a couple of weeks ago was one, but tonight's box wrestling match was definitely another.  I recently learned that my trash company is happy to pick up those oversized cardboard boxes, but they require you to break them down and bind them in neat little 4 foot by 2 foot packages that weigh less than 50 pounds.  Admittedly, I didn't measure the boxes, but figure they're close enough to the limit for audit work.  But the breaking down and binding part had my cats looking at me (again!) like I'd lost a few more marbles.

Two of the boxes from my latest bathroom upgrade had those ginormous staples in them which required a pair of needle nose pliers and a bit of strength to remove.  Said boxes were also about 4 times as thick as the average cardboard box and had to be folded over on one end to meet the 4 foot limit.  Meanwhile, the box from the commode contained several layers of packing material, a few extra cardboard inserts and a shape which was, shall we say, interesting to get into a quasi-flattened state, and then, only with ample applications of strapping tape. 

Here's where the real fun began!  I had to get the boxes tied together and dragged out to the curb (and less than 50 pounds!  Seriously?  As if I'm going to drag more than 50 pounds to my curb alone???) with nothing but the aforementioned strapping tape.  Fortunately, my years of gift wrapping experience, including some rather large and weighty objects (like a tool box full of tools) came in very handy when it was time to flip the stack of boxes so I could continue wrapping tape around them. 

I sit here now, sweating like a pig, but the trash barrels are out, the cat boxes are clean and my spare bedroom is now free of all boxes except the ones the kids pulled out for their own organizing frenzy.  And all this while I'm fighting a bout of laryngitis with a nasty, dry cough that finally sent me to the cough medicine bottle I use only when I'm desperate and my ribs have started to hurt from all of the hacking.

The good news is, it will cause me to drink a lot more water before I retire for the night, and water is always a good thing!

Meanwhile, I continue to practice my energy work, though I have discovered that putting my feet up to do some of them isn't always a good idea as I get too relaxed and fall into a meditative state without completing the exercises.  I have to say that it amuses me to read the cautions from the author about stopping if the exercises make you feel aroused.  Sheesh!  They relax me to the point of near catatonia.  Feeling the energy waves move up my body and getting the chakras spinning is, to me, as relaxing as a cat's purr.  In fact, I think I've found another way to fall asleep on those monkey mind nights.

As I ponder what I accomplished tonight, despite feeling under the weather, I realize that living alone really does have its benefits.  I can't depend on someone else to do the heavy lifting, take out the trash or rearrange the furniture when I get the urge.  Sure, I can call a couple of people if the job is really big, but for the everyday and weekly stuff, I have to depend on myself.  Because I do, I think, even when I miss my gym workouts, I'm still using the muscles and keeping things a lot looser than I would if I had someone to take care of things for me.  Lifting several 30 or 40 pound boxes of cat sand is still something I can handle.  Shlepping heavy bags of groceries is not a problem.  Carrying the sandboxes across the house is just another day in Paradise and every day I appreciate the fact that, compared to a lot of people my age, and some even younger, I manage pretty darn well! 

Yes, I'm overweight and could stand to get back to my regular gym routine to keep the muscles more toned.  Sure, my knees remind me of the years of dancing and abuse on occasion.  But I can still get up in the morning, walk through the house to feed the cats and get my coffee, stand in the kitchen for an hour or more at a time fixing meals, haul groceries and trash, fix the kitchen sink and dozens of other tasks which my contemporaries relegate to others.  So as far as I'm concerned, life is good!

I am Woman, and when necessary, I can damn well do it myself!  Yee haw!!!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that my body is still able to take me where I want to go, and let me do what I want to do.
2. I am grateful for my independence.
3. I am grateful for the return of at least the lower octaves of my voice.
4. I am grateful for Robitussin, when I just can't stand the hacking any more.
5. I am grateful for my nurse kitties who took very good care of me today.

.Love and light

Saturday, August 24, 2013

August 24, 2013 Strange dreams and exciting experiences.

Last night was one of those nights when the dreams were plentiful, I woke up often enough that I remember parts and they were all weird!

The first one I remember involved my daughter and I stopping by the house of a former friend (though I don't remember why) to find that she was having a party with a lot of my friends who, in reality, she doesn't even know.  It was very clear that we had not been invited and they were uncomfortable about the fact that we'd found out, purely by accident, but everyone had gone out of their way to keep us from knowing.  We didn't stay very long, just long enough to get whatever it was we came for.

In the next dream, a large group of us were picnicking in a park (perhaps for a concert?) but seemed to have power connections for our electronic devices.  One friend kept asking me if I "had it hooked up yet" and seemed to be referring to my iPad as if I had to do something special to get a connection.  As time passed, Heather became anxious about this connection as she needed it so she could finish something for her job.  While we sat around talking, news came in from somewhere that an Israeli soldier had assassinated an Egyptian king.  We were arguing about it because some of us felt that, although it was horrible, it was, in some ways, justified as this king had caused the deaths of a lot of Israelis in a recent war.

Suddenly the scene shifted and the assassination was happening right in front of us.  A man came up on a high tech motorcycle, shot someone and was promptly gunned down by soldiers or police.  Soon, a big NCIS van drove by.  (guess I watch more TV than I should!) and we were told we had to stay there while the crime was investigated.  Not sure if it was ok, but needed to go, I headed for a nearby bathroom.  (even in my sleep, I seem to have hamster bladder syndrome!)

As dreams do, the scenes shifted back and forth, and in the midst of the mayhem, I found myself in a large clothing store with lots of empty space and wood floors.  Several of my dance friends were there trying on clothes for some event or other (and clearly, I was there to do the same).  One woman was dancing around in a vest and pencil skirt while her husband looked on.  I commented that she looked beautiful and he heartily agreed.  The outfit, like almost everything else the women were wearing (including me) was red.  In fact, in the dream, I was wondering about the fact that so many people were wearing red.  It didn't seem to be near Valentine's Day or Christmas when this would be common.  As I continued to walk through the store, people I know were dancing by in dresses they were trying on.  It was clear that the event we were preparing for would involve dancing, though what that event was, I don't know.

Each day, I add more energy work to my schedule, and I have to say that it is making a huge difference in my life and outlook.  The exercises I did over the last couple of days have really increased my awareness of each of my chakras and more, what is behind some of the blockages.  It is as if, when I start focusing my energy on a chakra and start moving the energy around, it breaks up some of the blockage so I can begin to understand where it began.  I'm really looking forward to figuring out what needs clearing and getting to work on it!

My first practice session with a volunteer (and I am so grateful that the list of volunteers is growing!) went very well.  I got right into my energy field, connected with my volunteer (or as they call themselves, guinea pigs) and figured out which chakra needed attention the most.  I then explained to her what that chakra controlled, and she pretty much took it from there.  We talked for a bit about the blockage and what was behind it, I then did a download to clear out some old energy, but explained that the real work was hers as she had to hold the positive thoughts.

After the last class, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get the minimum of 15 minutes a week in, but this session lasted much more, though I didn't time it, and I will probably do a session for another one of my volunteers tomorrow.  It seems that the Universe is, once again, providing and I will get plenty of practice before the next class!  The Laws of Attraction, once again, in action!  I love how things just work themselves out, and always better than I could have planned them!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for an abundance of volunteers to practice with.
2. I am grateful for the changing energy as I gain confidence.
3. I am grateful for the people I am attracting who, themselves, bring more positive energy into my life.
4. I am grateful for another wonderful night of dance with my favorite people.
5. I am grateful for opportunities that are coming my way for which I have no clue what they are or where they will come from, only that they will be wonderful and will further guide me on my true path.

Love and light.

Friday, August 23, 2013

August 23, 2013 Learning about myself through energy work

While practicing my energy work today, going through an exercise for primary center stimulation, I found that the opening and "massaging" (for lack of a better word) of each center raised my awareness, especially where blocks were concerned.  I carried what I'd learned into my afternoon meditation, where I learned that one of the blocks has a number of facets, some of which came in this lifetime, and some from before.

What I have yet to figure out is whether behaviors which strengthened the block were additional causes, or merely symptoms of the original event.  Part of my confusion lies in the fact that, at least in part, I'm not ready to deal with the entire picture right now.  In the coming year, I know I will slowly pull it all out, but it is going to have to come out in its own way and in its own time.  I recognize the fact that it will be painful to some degree, but I don't need to, essentially, pull my heart out through my mouth in one yank!  I believe the clearing process will be more effective in the long run if I just allow myself to cough up the loose stuff first, allowing more to loosen up as time goes on and I become stronger for the little releases.  For now, I'm just grateful for the insights I received today.

I realize I'm being rather vague, but the details I'm realizing are both very personal and only partially formed right now.  Unlike the woman who wrote "Julie and Julia", I can and do edit what goes into my blog and refrain from sharing certain things, be they about myself or those close to me.  Some things are better left in the privacy of one's own home or mind.

I'm really enjoying the evolution of the Ascension Resonance Therapy training both for all of the things I'm learning in general and for what I am learning about myself. It is also a tremendous honor to have the opportunity to connect with four amazing women and to be allowed to share in the process as they, too, discover their gifts and learn how to use  and strengthen them.   I include our instructor because I believe that this is a growth process which never really ends. We'll continue to discover and work through things which block our energy flow, and as life has a way of doing, we'll develop new blocks which we'll need to address as well. 

Life is dynamic and as we evolve and change, we manage our experiences in different ways, some with better results than others.  Some will require a deeper connection with self to understand and accept ourselves, warts and all. 

One of our assignments involves 'fessing up about our negative thought patterns.  I'm currently stuck on the question, not because I have none, but because I have no idea where to start.  I'm hoping that the energy exercises will help improve the flow so I can put feelings into words and words into action, but until then, I'll continue to talk around the issues, getting closer and closer until I'm able to just address them directly.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the opportunity to open myself up, clear out the baggage and lighten my load for what I know is coming.
2. I am grateful for a quiet night at home with the cats, with nothing that I really needed to do.
3. I am grateful for a weekend when I can be productive while still taking care of myself.
4. I am grateful for a night when I don't have to set the alarm (other than the Toby alarm which had better wait until at least the sun is coming in my window!) and can sleep until I wake up.
5. I am grateful for the people who are willing to help me complete the practice sessions for my class.  Without them, I'd still be overwhelmed and floundering.

Love and light.

August 22, 2013 Ode to produce.

Driving home tonight after dancing, I caught the wonderful smell of freshly turned earth, emanating from the fields next to the freeway where all manner of tasty goodies are grown throughout the year and sold at both farmers' markets and the farm store adjacent to the fields.  As I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the smell of the earth and my heart with joy, I realized how incredibly lucky I am to live where fresh produce is available straight from the fields almost year round. 

As snow is so rare here that we may see a few flakes every twenty years or so, our local farmers can harvest one crop and prepare the fields for the next one pretty quickly.  During strawberry season, we are treated to the fattest, sweetest, juiciest strawberries imaginable.  Our blueberries are plump and plentiful.  Tomatoes are so beautiful, I could almost write a sonnet to their beauty and flavor!

As autumn grows near, we can look forward to all manner of squash including that Halloween favorite, the pumpkin which has patches erected all over town in its honor.  Fresh corn so sweet you'd swear it was dipped in honey gives way to corn mazes to amuse and challenge. 

As so many turn to fast food and preservatives, I feel very blessed that I have options and they are neither processed nor packaged, aside from that which nature gives them. 

I admit it.  Most of what is in my refrigerator was in a field within the last week or so.  But I do like my chicken and fish so you'll still find an omnivore's diet in my refrigerator and pantry.  But you won't hear me wax poetic over a chicken breast or salmon fillet as I would for the perfect strawberry, the sweetest melon or the firmest tomato.  The just don't give me the same inspiration.

The hour grows late so I'll wind this up, the better to go dream of produce, fresh from the fields to my table, where my dinner is fit for kings!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for fresh fruits and veggies.
2. I am grateful for another wonderful night of dancing and chatting and loving life.
3. I am grateful for furry faces greeting me at the door.  (OK, so Heather picked up the food bowl while she had my grandpuppy over and forgot to put it back down, but they still met me at the door, anxious for my attention!)
4. I am grateful for tomorrow's delivery (they missed it today somehow) of my new storage shed.
5. I am grateful that the monthly pod rental will soon be a thing of the past.

Love and light.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

August 21, 2013 Which came first, the sore throat or the blocked chakra

As I sit here nursing a cup of Gypsy Cold Care tea laced with fresh lemon and honey and try to swallow past the swelling and the gob of phlegm in my throat (while once again reversing my process and blogging before meal making), I have to wonder if the soreness is a result of the allergies or if the allergies which triggered the sore throat are connected to the blockage in my throat chakra.

I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out why the darned thing is blocked in the first place, but nothing is really resonating.  I keep asking myself  "what is it that I'm repressing?  What do I need to say or express and who do I need to express it to?"  

Failing to come up with anything useful, I decided to check my supplements with my pendulum.  Only one of the supplements came up as bad for me, and then, only two of the ingredients therein, foliate and calcium, came up as problems.  I'm guessing that it's not so much the ingredient which should be good for me, but the form which was used in this particular supplement.  I wonder if the people at my vitamin store would think me weird if I brought my pendulum with me to test the supplements before I buy them?  

Well, I tried, but I just couldn't do it.  I've trained myself so well that there was no way I could finish my blog until the comestibles for the rest of the week were prepared and tucked into the refrigerator for easy grab and going.  Not to mention the absolute necessity of setting up the coffee pot so I'll have my morning fix for the next two days! 

I don't know if I can't get my brain in gear until everything is done for the night, if that time spent chopping and mixing gets the thought processes going or if it's all in my head.  But whatever it is, I seem to write more freely knowing that I don't have to scramble in the morning to make sure I have healthy meals for the day.   My gym habit should be so well ingrained! 

I'm finding that since I have been missing my workouts and the stretching afterwards, I'm getting stuff again.  I purposely walked from my nail appointment to the market across the parking lot rather than moving my car because I knew the slightly longer walk would stretch out some stiff muscles.  I guess, since I'm so efficient with what needs to go out the door with me in the morning, it wouldn't hurt to get up a few minutes early and just do some stretching.  I know my back, legs, hips and shoulders would thank me for it!!!  I also have a little over two months before I need to either manage to fit into one of my dresses or have to suffer the agony of shopping for something in a larger size for my reunion.   I had hoped to be down significantly by now, but I just haven't been taking as good care of myself as I should.  Breakfasts and lunches are healthy and low in calories and fat, but I get to dinner and I've been less than careful!  The only saving grace is that I am, once again, limiting the amount of time I sit in front of the television. 

Not that I'm really planning it that way.  The fact of the matter is, I just can't wrap my head around any of the shows I was fond of just a couple of weeks ago.  I don't know if it's the studying, the higher vibrations or what, but I'd rather read, or play a puzzle game on the computer or write or do research or just about anything besides sitting like a lump in front of the one eyed monster. 

This turn of events is not sitting well with my furry children, however.  The follow me around the house, lamenting their lot in life because I won't sit still long enough to give them the attention they deserve!  Eventually, I'll find a way to balance everything, but at the moment, I'm trying to get through the reading I need to do for my class, get the questions done, practice my energy work and find time to practice on a friend or family member as well.  Oy! 

I do have to say that in spite of the failure to meet my fitness goals right now, the energy work is helping keep my knees happier!  Not only that, Loki is eating better today after another healing session last night.  Maybe she'll finally put the weight back on!  Here's hoping!

But it is nearly 1:30 and I have a long day ahead of me, so I'll hit you with my gratitudes and call it a night.

1. I am grateful for habits that just won't let me slack off.
2. I am grateful for the energy in my body which is quite happy to be played with, talked to, queried and shared.
3. I am grateful for continued progress in meeting my study requirements.
4. I am grateful for the coming together of several plans.
5. I am grateful for the changes which have already occurred and those yet to come.

Love and light.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

August 20, 2013 Blue Moon

I normally don't comment on the phases of the moon or astrological manifestations, not so much due to lack of interest as lack of knowledge.  But tonight's moon was rather arresting as it glowed brightly in the evening sky.  I even grabbed a couple of pictures, albeit with my phone, so the quality is less than optimal.  I particularly liked the way it peeked through the trees over my neighbor's house, in the manner of a shy virgin, dancing sky clad under the full moon. 
 I find it interesting that the closer I zoomed in, the more egg-shaped the moon appeared, and the more ragged its aura seemed. 

Those who are more knowledgeable than me are saying that this "blue" moon is a harbinger of change, in fact, one in particular calls it a
"...powerful and drastic culmination events of all forms that will radically alter the course of our future. Unexpected events and paradigm shifts will guide us along new courses of action befitting the growth of the soul and the improvement of our lives. This is a super-conscious lunar energy that will raise our perspectives into the realm of the cosmos and the future which we will all create together through Cause and Effect."

The overall feeling seems to be in the realm of altruism as opposed to greed and selfishness.

What I see is that the timing for me to begin my journey towards developing the skills to help others as well as to clear my own blocks was extremely well timed.  (despite the fact that, over the weekend, I found myself questioning my decision as the temporary onslaught of emotions and events sent me into a brief tailspin.) 

It is times like this that I have complete faith in the ability of the Universe and my own application of the Laws of Attraction to align perfectly and put me on track to achieve my goals, even when they're still more of a germ than a full-blown idea.  But then, if there's one thing I've learned well over the last couple of years, it's that the best way to set a goal is to send out the germ first and keep the preconceived notions as to how it is supposed to turn out to a minimum. 

In so doing, the door is left open to take the idea and improve on it in ways that I can't conceive of when I first set the intention, and which, ultimately, will be far better than anything I might have planned out in detail in my ignorance of how things would shake out.

This has been a difficult lesson for a control freak such as I, but a lesson for which I am grateful every single day!  Instead of settling for the jello of an idea, I sit back and wait until it's the hot fudge sundae with nuts, bananas, piles of whipped cream and a dozen cherries!  (and of course, zero calories!) 

So as the August Blue Moon travels across the sky, I'm setting the intention to allow the changes which have already begun to expand and grow in the best direction possible.  Then I'll buckle in, hold onto my hat and enjoy what should prove to be a wild ride!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for green lights and blue skies in my world.
2. I am grateful for the unconditional love and increased attentiveness I've been receiving from my roommates lately.
3. I am grateful for the ease with which I'm able to connect with my energy field, and in being able to use it to improve my own health.
4. I am grateful for the opportunity to practice what I'm learning on people, animals and things in my environment to make sure that what I put into my body regularly is healthy.
5. I am grateful for people who are considerate and patient during the morning and evening commutes.  We all want to get where we're going, but we may as well enjoy the ride in the process.

Love and light.

Monday, August 19, 2013

August 19, 2013 Overwhelmed by life transitions to overwhelmed by love and support. Score!!!

Yesterday, I was feeling bruised and battered and overwhelmed by a number of things for which I had to find solutions.  Before I slipped into that ugly pit known as "wallowing in self-pity", I decided to acknowledge that feeling of being overwhelmed and ask the Universe to help me wade through it all.

Today, I have a phone number for some able-bodied men to help me set up the storage unit I  ordered, I have emailed the trash company about a large pickup and have several volunteers to help me with the weekly assignments for my A.R.T. class.  In fact, the volunteers are rather enthusiastic about seeing if I can clear some things for them!  The 15 minute a week requirement now seems not only doable but exceedable!   I've even done most of the reading in the first book and answered a couple of the homework questions! 

It is amazing how easy it was to turn an oppressive feeling of overwhelmment into a joyful one, simply by asking for help!  Who knew????  We control freaks have a real problem admitting that not can we not do it all ourselves, but that there are others out there who can often do it better than we can, and are more than willing to lend a hand!   Even though, each time I do ask for help, I'm amazed at the outflow of support I receive, I still find it difficult (though less so as time goes on) to just ask for that help, be it overtly or just by throwing the suggestion up to the Universe.

Tonight's session of mundane tasks revolved around emptying and cleaning sandboxes, sweeping floors and putting the trash out for tomorrow's pickup.  As it doesn't take as long as fixing meals and requires a lot more physical exertion, I don't get the nice, wandering mind effect I get from preparing food, but it does serve to settle me some and let me rehash some things I worked on throughout the day.  It also gives me a chance to ponder some of the reading I did today and allow some of the ideas to percolate.

As the author of one of the books strikes me as a bit pompous because of her extensive education and psychotherapy practice, I have to take the time to absorb the message and not allow my distaste with her delivery to prevent me from benefiting from some really good material she's taken the time to put together.

Some of it reminds me of an engineer who has to quantify and correlate data, giving little names and codes to things, but wading through some of that excessive detail and getting to the meat just gives me a challenge.  It also makes me process and then put things into terms which resonate better with me.  I believe that is why our instructor gives us some of the questions she does on our homework.  She realizes that we need to think about what we're reading, then rephrase it so that it makes more sense to us. 

Thinking about it makes me curious as to how my classmates are translating what she's written into language which works for them.  We are four very different women, not only in age and background, but in life experiences.  We all have our own insecurities about what we're doing and whether we're really seeing or perceiving accurately.  We have different gifts so we perceive things in different ways.  Only very rarely do I hear voices speaking to me or delivering information, but I see so much in my mind's eye, and often, those pictures are extremely vivid, and, as I've been finding, incredibly accurate!

I don't yet get information as quickly as my teacher does, nor do I get as much detail, but a lot of that, like my day job, comes with experience.  Heaven knows I'll be working on something when I suddenly stop and think "Wow!  I really do know this stuff!"   I look forward to the day when I'll be able to do the same with what I'm learning right now.  But I know I have a long road to travel before that day comes!  In the meantime, the path is interesting, frustrating, emotionally battering..but never boring!

So for now, I have my homework which I've gotten a better jump on this month, coordinating the emptying and removal of the Pod, clearing up some more of my clutter and getting back on track to at least get my kitchen upgraded and a start on achieving the living space I really want.  I stagnated for awhile, but I think I'm finally ready to move forward, let go of some outdated thoughts, feelings and beliefs, and grow!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the outpouring of positive energy that got me back on track.
2. I am grateful for all of the new experiences and knowledge that is coming into my life.
3. I am grateful for the release of the negative energy I was attracting over the weekend.
4. I am grateful for green lights all the way home, whether or not I sing my green light song.  (My daughter thinks I'm weird, but really wouldn't trade me for a normal mom!)
5. I am grateful for kitty love that grounds and centers me, no matter how crazy, awful, beautiful, tragic, magic, uplifting my life might get.

Love and light

August 18, 2013 Getting back into an old routine

As I performed the mundane task of preparing comestibles for the first half of the week, it came to me why I had, at one time, been in the habit of writing my blog post after that task was complete.

Standing at the sink, chopping veggies and fruits, beating eggs, setting up the coffee pot and cleaning up between each stage gives me time to go back over my day, or, in this case, my weekend and pull out a few gems from what, in this case, was a pile of stones which were once a whole me.  The Universe didn't just give me headslaps.  No!  That would be too boring!  This weekend, and, in fact, for the last week or so, it seems I was the Universe's punching bag.  As if that wasn't bad enough, I had to endure the gleeful giggling which accompanied each *WHACK*! 

But when all was said and done, I had the beginnings of a couple of plans, help coming from different directions (and yes, I'm finally learning to ask!), a better perspective and a renewed sense of purpose. 

Sure, I'd have been happier if it hadn't been such a painful process which, I am not naive enough to believe is over, but the resulting love and support are definitely worth the pain.

The empath in me got body slammed, the reactor in me took enormous effort to ramp down and although I'm still left with the firm belief that the city I live in is run by a bunch of bored, petty, power mad imbeciles, I'm all right with that as I just got another kick in the butt to move some things along, remodel-wise.

This weekend I learned that I need to add some additional parameters to the filter around my energy field.  I learned that irritation between my daughter and me seems to be dissolving faster these days and that there are times, when all else fails, that I need to throw a big, black wall up between myself and people who should not be allowed to breach my energy field while behaving in a way which is potentially harmful to me.

The timing of our next A.R.T. conference call further reminded me that it will be ten years since my dad ended his life on the day of the call.  That also means that it will be twenty years for my mom in December.  It's hard to believe they've both been gone for so long.  In some ways, I have to admit that I'm grateful to not be going through what many of my friends are as they watch their parents' health failing.  On the other hand, there are things I was not able to share with them because they left so soon, despite the fact that the further I get into the process of clearing my own issues in preparation for becoming a successful healer, the clearer it becomes that they left at precisely the right time for them. 

Had mom not been so fragile emotionally, she might have been able to embrace the energy shifts and maybe even been able to help others through the changes.  Dad, on the other hand, was very earth bound, first chakra and would have just denied everything, regardless of what was right before his eyes.  As for me, I can just let the love flow from me to their memories and spirits, free of anger, blame and hurt.  There are still a few places where regret lives, but I suspect that by the end of the year I spend in training, I will have released that as well.

I left class today feeling bruised, battered, overwhelmed and weak.  I ate some soy ice cream when I got home, found that plans to meet a bunch of people and go to a place where there would be even more people had been cancelled.  Feeling no small sense of relief as I was going to force myself to go, if only for the change of scenery, I ended up with an evening at home with a friend, eating food we shouldn't have and enjoying every bite!  Surprisingly, just the soy ice cream and some kitty time were enough to start the healing process of the wounds acquired over the last week or so.  Visiting with my friend and a call from my daughter asking if everything was ok did the rest.  It really is the little things!

So, as I put the rest of my ducks in a row this week to handle what the Universe hurled at me, I am going to recognize and cherish all of those little things which keep me grounded.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for all of the wonderful little things in my life.
2. I am grateful for the love of friends and family which are often expressed when I least expect it...and most need it.
3. I am grateful for the process I am going through, however painful, which will help me live my true purpose.
4. I am grateful for the increasingly frequent affirmations that I am on the right path, and that they are delivered not only when I'm faltering, but when I'm succeeding.
5. I am grateful for my cats without whom I might have just bounced right off the deep end more than once!

Love and light.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

August 17, 2013 To write or not to write

As I sit here with a glass of wine and Munchkin nagging me to call it a night so she can get comfy on my bed, I was going to skip posting tonight as I've been struggling to overcome an episode of negative energy.  Then I realized, what better way to help dispell that energy than to write my gratitudes!  So here I am, half the wine gone and expecting one of my less entertaining posts, just so I can post gratitudes!

I won't go into all of the reasons my energy is not where I'd like it to be, because, frankly, I don't want to give a bunch of petty stuff the importance putting it in print would give it. 

I'll focus instead on the fact that I went dancing, despite those grumpies, had a very nice night with my wonderful, loving, positive friends, and came home to a bottle of wine I'd bought a few weeks ago (of which, I'll be lucky to finish the one glass, or about 1/3 of a glass as I'm using a rather large one my daughter bought me and to fill it up would be to risk a very fuzzy head in the morning!), the attention of my cats who know nothing but unconditional love and a couple of rounds of a puzzle game I like that took my mind to another place entirely.

Class ended early tonight so instead of the seriously fattening stuffed baked potato I was envisioning, I ate some leftover Chinese food at home.  This was actually an extra bonus as it meant that I ate a lot earlier and wasn't weighed down by food eaten between dances.

So now, it's a race to see whether the blog or the wine will be finished first! :)

Just in case the wine wins, here are my gratitudes for tonight:
1. I am grateful for loving friends who let me unload on the rare occasion when I can't work things out by myself.
2. I am grateful for the unconditional love of my cats.
3. I am grateful for progress made (albeit slow) in opening my sacral chakra.
4. I am grateful for the little successes.  They come far more often than the big ones and allow for frequent "attaboys".
5. I am grateful that I have a concert in the park with friends to look forward to after tomorrow's training session.

Sticking the gratitudes in the middle for a change actually feels good to me tonight.  It's a nice change of pace and allows my brain to wander a bit before trying to add more to this post (assuming I do get a spark of inspiration!)

The muse is fickle tonight and is displeased with my decision to give the negative energy the attention it deserves (e.g. NONE!) and is choosing to go inspire someone else instead.

Thus, I'll just wish you love and light, and bucketfuls of positive, happy, heartwarming energy for your Sunday and the rest of the week.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

August 15, 2013 Learning causes changes

I'm learning that as I learn, I change.  I grow, I travel new paths and even change old habits.

As I continue to play with my energy (and yes, I do mean play as it really is fun to pass energy balls through body parts, pull energy up and pour it into my personal storage space, draw energy in and use it for some self healing, and many more little games I play now that I've learned how to bring it out) I'm finding that, first and foremost, I need to pay close attention to releasing it, even when I haven't been consciously playing.

Energy kitty, I have this on my wall paper changerThis became clear to me when  friend touched my arm tonight and commented on how hot I was, and I hadn't even been dancing!  Apparently, I'm throwing off a great deal of heat, though my body temperature is, if anything, lower than normal!  (maybe that's why the cats are more inclined to be near me lately!)

I've also noticed that my appetite is decreasing.  It started slowly, but the more time I spend in that energy zone, the less food I seem to require.  It makes me wonder whether it is just something unique to me or if it is something others experience as well.  Does working with our energy field provide it's own nourishment?

Even now, as I'm thinking about my energy field, my skin which was fairly cool to the touch when I got home seems to be getting warmer.  Is it, like the Laws of Attraction, a case of thinking about it, and it will engage?

I also noticed tonight that places which were hurting last night but got some healing energy during my practice session were not hurting tonight, or if they were, the pain was very weak.

I tried an experiment tonight.  My practice work involved using a blue energy ball and passing it through various joints, my brain, through my arms, etc.  Tonight, I used a green energy ball (green for healing) and passed it through my right knee which was really aching last night.  Tonight, it did not ache at all where I'd had the meniscus removed, but I felt twinges on the opposite side!  I believe that with a few more applications of that green energy passing through my knee, I will cease to experience any discomfort at all!  Even my left leg which tends to be painful from hip to ankle in the tendon which travels the length of my leg was much better tonight after using the green energy. 

The only area I don't seem to be finding success with right now is that pesky lower abdominal region.  I'm definitely going to have to spend some time testing various foods for sensitivity, and may have to radically change my diet to accommodate my body's changing needs.

As I have mentioned before, a beloved member of our dance community was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer this year.  She has touched so many and there is a great deal of love and encouragement being sent to her.  As I travel my new path, I've learned that the pancreas is governed by the solar plexus chakra.  Earlier this evening, I started having a sick feeling in my stomach and tried to trace it so I could figure out what it was trying to tell me.  I never did get to the bottom of it, and it is still there, though much decreased.  The only thing I can come up with is that it is connected to my desire to send healing energy to where it will be most helpful to her (assuming, of course, that her guides really want her to receive it). 

To test my theory, I brought her into my thoughts and asked the question.  The answer I received was a very polite, "thank you, but no."  I'm guessing that my sick feeling was partially brought on by somehow knowing that would be the answer.  I know, on a conscious level, that it could mean she has what she needs to heal herself, but my maternal instincts kick in when someone is in pain or ill, and even if we're not close, I feel the desire to help if I can.  I know that there will be plenty of times when I am asked not to help, and learning to accept that without taking it to heart is going to be difficult for me.  I don't so much have trouble with honoring a person's (or their guide's ) wishes, as much as I do having to step back and allow them to suffer, despite the fact that I understand and respect everyone's right to set their own path.

I continue to be tested to respect the choices of others, and especially those I care about, even if I don't understand them.  And more, to continue to send them love and light, especially when I need to step back and allow them to travel their path without outside interference.  I guess that in order to truly help others, it is imperative to understand that what we might consider helping could be considered hindering or interfering by our intended recipient.  Letting go and doing nothing are never easy, but, as with anything else, there is a time and a place for everything.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the lessons which are coming into my life right now.
2. I am grateful for opportunities to test what I'm learning.
3. I am grateful for friends who understand what I'm doing and, sometimes inadvertently, offer suggestions.
4. I am grateful for the attention I'm getting from my cats as I continue to learn and grow.
5. I am grateful for the way my world is expanding and I'm interacting more with other people.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

August 14, 2013 Opening up my mind to learning again!

What to say?  What to say?  Most nights, this isn't a problem.  My brain is brimming with ideas, often coming so fast, my fingers can barely keep up.  But once in awhile, despite all of the fun and frolic going on in my life, I'm just at a loss for anything to blog about.  And in case it wasn't clear, tonight is one of those nights.

I've been spending a lot of time practicing the exercises in my energy work book, and have finally learned to let go of some of the energy every so often so I don't overload myself.  Today, I was able to finish the chapter, and find myself just doing one or another of them when I'm out and about, usually when I'm sitting, waiting for something. 

I have learned that belly breathing is a good place to start any of the exercises.
I have learned that I don't need to physically locate the body part to be used.
I have learned that passing energy balls through my brain feels very cool!
I have learned that energy in my left knee feels warm while energy in my right knee feels cold.
I have learned that I can fill up energy vaults so I won't be so exhausted after my class next time.
I have learned to release built up energy so I won't feel so exposed and fragile after energy work.
I have learned that texting my classmates and teacher when I'm having any kind of issue yields not only answers but support.
I have learned that there is a whole lot more to this class than the couple of days a month that we meet.
I have learned that the more I learn, the more excited I become.
I have learned that many things I learned out of necessity are very useful for what I'm learning now.

This is going to be an incredible year full of growth, self-discovery and, ultimately, a new way of life.  Although I'm starting so much later in life than the rest of my class, it is the right time for me, and I haven't been idle, but have been accumulating a whole garage full of tools which will become extremely useful in the months to come. 

I love the fact that as I'm reading about energy or auras, I'm learning new things about old stuff and finding out that stuff I learned a long time ago is making so much more sense now that I have additional information. 

There is so much more to auras than I had ever imagined!  There are connections between the auras, through the chakras, Universal Energy and each other, but there are also minor chakras and the connections they make!  I feel like I've opened up an amazing present and no matter how many things I pull out of the box, it never gets empty!  It's like discovering a candy store where chocolate has no calories! 

I also love how it feels to play with my energy:  moving little energy balls up and down my body in so many different ways.  Rolling the energy up my back, then down my front where I can either direct it to do some healing, or fill up my own energy vaults.  I can bounce energy balls between my hands or through my knees, shoulders and brain!  As I move the energy balls in, around and through, I can feel things reorganizing for the better.  I feel my poor, abused knees suddenly feeling less abused.  I feel clarity entering my brain.  And I feel old, outdated beliefs leaving. 

I guess the best word for this feeling is "euphoria".  There is a lightness, a rightness and a sense of adventure unlike anything I've ever felt before!  I'm dusting out the cobwebs and opening blocked channels.  This, my friends, is the ultimate in decluttering! 

I know that it will take time for me to shed the old, outdated, dysfunctional ways, but they will be shed, one at a time, at first, but soon, I know I'll be shedding them like a tree sheds leaves in the fall until all that's left is the new, fresh, clean trunk and branches, ready to be decorated with better, stronger, more resilient ways which will be better suited to the role I will be playing.

The new leaves I grow will be of light and energy.  They will be my guides, my teachers, my lessons and my goals.  And together, we will thrive.  (Oy!  That sounds like a commercial for Kaiser Permanente!)

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful to all who have been my teachers, and all who will be.
2. I am grateful for the opportunity to keep learning.
3. I am grateful for the opportunity to move in new directions.
4. I am grateful for dance nights, even when I don't dance very much.
5. I am grateful for the ease with which I'm falling into working with the energy which is everywhere and in everything.

Love and light.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

August 13, 2013 Energy work journal, part 2.

I started practicing the energy exercises in chapter 3 of our Energy work book.  Once again, I found it unnecessary to touch or stroke a body part to let it know that it was going to be used.  I'm thinking that all of the time I spent learning to relax for my migraines is coming in very handy for energy work.  When the book suggested I tense various muscles before letting everything go and flow out my feet, I could feel the tension flowing out almost before I finished reading the words!

The first exercise involved passing an energy ball up and down the fingers of, first the left hand, then the right, starting palm down, then repeating with the palm up.  It was interesting feeling a ball of energy roll up and down my fingers, then pass to the next finger to continue the process.  It literally felt like one of those massage rollers as the ball rolled up and down each finger.  I did find that I had to take breaks though, as the process of focusing the energy caused me to experience pain in my left temple.

For the palm work, I began the stirring motion in a counterclockwise direction on my palm but the energy shifted to clockwise of its own accord when I sent it up my fingers.  At some points, it seemed to go back and forth until it settled back into a clockwise rotation on my fingers and thumb.

I didn't spend a whole lot of time on the arm wrapping practice as this was the technique I used with a classmate's sprained wrist quite effectively in our last class session.  I did find it interesting to feel it on myself, however, so I'll be better able to use the technique in the future.

Arm energy balls were interesting, though I didn't seem to be able to move them as quickly as the author suggested, instead, taking about 3-4 seconds to go up my left arm and a bit longer for my right arm.  I'm not sure why the right arm takes longer, but will explore that further in another session as my head was starting to hurt again.

Moving on to the Toe work, I found that even after I moved on to the next toe, the previous ones continued to vibrate with the energy of the ball being run up and down the tow.  Even now, both feet continue to have a feeling almost like humming. which is beginning to move down my feet to my heels.  Moving on to Sole work intensified the humming in my feet.  When I moved to my right foot and started "stirring" in a counterclockwise direction, my little toe started to hurt.  When I reversed direction, the toe stopped hurting.  Something else I'll need to investigate further.  At the moment, both feet feel very warm.

The heel and ankle work caused some interesting sensations.  Moving the energy ball from heal to ankle caused a pulsing which was intensified by the stirring action at the heel.  The expanding and contracting energy ball at the heel felt like rapid air flow concentrated on my heel.  The energy balls passing through my ankles in perpendicular directions brought the energy out about six inches from my leg, again, intensified by the expanding and contracting energy at the ankle joint.  The wrapping motion left me with a feeling of very active energy flowing around my ankles and calves.

I should also note, at this point, that as soon as I sit down to do energy work of any kind, Munchkin immediately finds her way to my side and will, periodically give me a little head butt or climb on my shoulder as if she needs to be a part of the process, either as a participant or a contributor, though, at the moment, I'm not sure which.

The two foot ankle circuit seems to have opened something up as the energy field around my feet, ankles and calves continues to pulsate and expand.  There is a slight cramping feeling in the back of my right calf.  

Once again, I'm going to turn in early.  The energy work seems to make me tired.  But then, I haven't yet gotten to the part about banking energy for future use.  Hopefully, I'll get there soon!  As it is, I can feel the energy flowing like waves up and down my arms and legs.  Sleep should be interesting tonight!

Love and light.

August 13, 2013 Kundalini awakening symptoms: Not always back pains, it seems

After several weeks of testing, the doctors have declared my innards clean as a whistle, yet the pains in my lower abdomen continue and, at times, seem to intensify.  A conversation with my Ascension Resonance Therapy teacher regarding severe back pains she'd recently experienced got me thinking:  Could there be other painful indications of Kundalini awakening?  A little research gave me the answer I suspected but could not quantify.  I found this at Kundalini-teacher.com:
kundalini photo: Kundalini kundalini.jpg
With the clearing of the power chakra, sometimes there are digestive disturbances of many types. Most of these relate to clearing the vessel of toxins and adjusting the diet to one that is more favorable to the unique individual. The power chakra controls the stomach, so one may find that the stomach reacts strongly to emotional upset. Foods that someone has eaten all their life may suddenly cause upset or become an allergy, and cravings for new foods appear. There can be gas, pain, lack of appetite, diarrhea, unusual cravings, etc. There is much variety in how the Kundalite can be affected.
It is important to not be dogmatic about what food is best, but to surrender to Kundalini dietary adjustments. It is useful to seek the services of a naturopath to aid in the cleansing process, and get vega testing or kinesiology testing for allergies and sensitivities. Many allergies can be subtle.
The subject of what diet is best for a spiritual path is the subject of endless, often hostile debates.
To limit spirituality to vegetarian experience is to suggest that Goddess is only available to those in a warmer climate, with access to vegetables year round, or willing to live on grains and dried beans. This is a racist, regional assumption. The native Americans have rich nature oriented spirituality, but they are mostly hunters. The Inuit(Eskimo) have a rich heritage on a diet of fish, caribou and seals. Hawaiians have Huna, a very pure form of mysticism, and they have pork luaus.
If, in your power to create, you buy into the idea that one must be a vegetarian, then that will be true for you, to a large extent. Of course, there are individuals who are natural vegans, but naturalists they have discovered that even gorillas and chimpanzees, will eat meat if they can get it. Rabbits like to gnaw on bones and shed antlers to increase their calcium and mineral intake.
I'm not going to lay down any strict rules about diet, because I think it is different for individuals. Instead I'm going to offer you some approximate guidelines, and teach you how to listen to your own body and give it what it wants.
Dietary needs and food tolerances change as K. progresses. Some people discover they can no longer eat meat, others who have been vegetarian for years find they need to eat meat to stay grounded. Some find they can no longer tolerate coffee or chocolate, or that they get cravings for foods that never interested them before. Others may find that they are drawn to use some caffeine. Same with alcohol.
The spiritual changes of K. manifest physically, the Karmic cleansing may be mirrored by a physical cleansing, a kind of "spiritual flu" as Goddess uses your immune responses to clear toxins out of your body and evolve your physical systems. Particularly your nervous system and the gastrointestinal system are cleansed and completely rebuilt. You may get short term allergies or find that some foods need to be deleted from your diet permanently.
Your body knows what it needs, and what is not good for it. The body is wise.
But the author doesn't stop there.  She goes on to explain how to figure out exactly what foods your body no longer feels comfortable with, and takes it one step further by suggesting that we sensitivity test our soaps, lotions and deodorants as well!

Sensitivity Testing.
There are many kinds of allergy tests available. Most of them involve introducing the suspected allergen into the body's systems in some way, as with a scratch test. There is also kinesiology testing, which checks the body's strength when exposed to a suspected allergen, and vega-testing, which checks the strength of the body's electrical energy field when in proximity to the allergen.
Kinesiology and vega testing I find to be better than scratch tests, because they are more comprehensive. For example, a scratch test would not reveal my sensitivity to wheat, because strictly speaking, I am not allergic to it. When I eat wheat and many other types of grains, my system does not digest it very well because of various factors like DNA and blood type. So it tends to be digested by unfriendly critters like candida yeast, which excrete toxins. Kinesiology reveals that wheat weakens me, but a scratch test does not.
Your body has a built in allergy testing system that is easy to learn to read. Your body does not need to consume a food to know how it will react to that food. It will react if the allergen is within your energy field, your aura. It is those reactions you read, to do this testing method.
I will explain how it works, then go into your kitchen or grocery and try it for yourself. It takes a bit of practice to learn to identify the subtle body reactions. If you do it in a store I suggest you choose one that is open late at night so you don't have folks staring at you breaking your concentration. With practice, you can do your grocery shopping without needing to think, just following how your body reacts when you consider a purchase, or imagine eating some type of food.
First, as always, get grounded. When you are grounded, do an inner check on your body to use as baseline. Notice any aches or pains, or strange sensations. Particularly pay attention to the feel of your head, your gut and heart.
When you have a good sense of how you are feeling, go into your kitchen and pick up any food object and hold it to your solar plexus. This puts it next to a very sensitive part of your energy field. Your power chakra will "read" the food and your body will have subtle reactions. Hold the intention that you are examining the food and not the container, otherwise the packaging could give confusing results.
Pay attention to what you feel. The first sensation is the heart/gut yes or no. That will be followed by other sensations to give you more information.
Does your body feel energized by the food or fatigued? If it feels energized, is it a "nice" feeling or does it feel shaky like adrenaline, stress, or caffiene?
How does your head feel?
Does the food make you feel dizzy or flushed?
Does it give you a twinge of headache? (white sugar does that to me.)
Does it make your head feel clearer?
How does your gut feel?
Does it feel good or does it feel heavy or acidic?
Does having the food near your solar plexus make your liver ache?
Your kidneys?
Your bowel or bladder?
Set the first food down out of your field, let your body return to baseline, and put another food to your solar plexus. Feel your body reacting. Do this with a number of foods so you can compare how the different foods affect you. The physical reactions will be subtle, not like a full blown allergy attack, but your body will be very co-operative in showing you it's preferences if you are paying attention. You may find that your body reacts differently to the same food in different seasons, and the same food imported from different countries, or from different manufacturers. Seasonal, organic and local is best.
Ask for additional information. If you are holding fresh fruit, see if you can feel the pesticide content, the fertilizer. When you get good at this, you will be able to detect pesticide on a banana at 10 paces.
When you get a good sense of how you react to food, move into your bathroom and similarly find out what your body thinks of your soaps and deodorants.
When you are done testing, tell your body "thank you" and have an intention of being complete with the exercise for the time being, so your body does not continue to react to your environment.

I can certainly relate to a lot of what the author is saying. Gastricly, I've been a veritable time bomb lately,. sometimes, not even wishing to be in my own presence!!!  I even succumbed to a whole battery of tests to ensure that there were no growths, blockages or other physical explanations for my pain and distress.

Clearly, the next step will be to query my body as to which foods it prefers and which ones it would rather I avoid.  

In all honesty, I've suspected for awhile that I was beginning to experience a Kundalini Awakening, but began to doubt myself as the symptoms were not what is typically recorded (although I do, from time to time also have pain in my lower back).  I also expected a process which happened fairly quickly, but am now learning that it can take years or even a lifetime to fully manifest.  If nothing else, I should know better than to doubt myself after all this time, and so many reminders when I failed to trust my intuition!

Just to get a little bit of a baseline, I asked my body about wheat and got a distinctive rumbling in my abdomen.  I'll take that as a "yes, please avoid or limit this food".  (although I did indulge in a reduced guilt mac and cheese tonight, supplemented with chicken/gouda sausages.  So far, the rumbling is minimal, so I guess keeping the quantity low and offset with protein is an option!)

Now that I've made these discoveries, I'm curious as to whether any of my readers have experienced symptoms of Kundalini Awakening, and, if so, are they the classic back pains, or something, like me, that is a little less common but no less disturbing?

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful to have discovered the cause of my distress and look forward to establishing the foods and habits to not only avoid but employ to make this transition as easy as possible (as if a Kundalini Awakening is ever easy!!!)
2. I am grateful for the cats who greet me at the door as if to say "where have you been?  We thought you were never coming home!!!"
3. I am grateful for time to practice my energy work as it is not something which can be done in a single evening!
4. I am grateful for past lessons in relaxation which have already taught me to connect to my body, making it easier to move energy through and around it.
5. I am grateful that the effects of last weekend's massage are lasting a good deal longer than usual!

Love and light

Monday, August 12, 2013

August 12, 2013 So much done, time for the good times now!

I managed to get most of my homework done today, and made up for last night's laziness by fixing my meals for the rest of the week.  I finally beat that procrastination bug!  I'm still not quite sure what had me lacking motivation, but now that it's behind me, I'm not going to worry about it.  Better to let such things go as, if I dwell on them, they might come back to bite me again!  (Yowch!)

My granddaughter celebrates her fourth birthday today!  One more year until kindergarten!  Happy birthday to Sera!

I did so much writing for my class today that my brain is struggling to find anything more to impart to the world of blogginess.  I'm all filled up with auras and Universal Energy Fields and Human Energy Fields and morphogenetic fields  (man, there are sure a lot of fields to remember!).  Add to that all of the different names people have given a fluid that can, supposedly, be charged.  Orgone, odic...and more I don't remember right now.  Then there are the various stages of chakra development from birth to adulthood.  At this point, my brain is spinning so fast, my chakras look like they're going backwards in comparison! 

I still need to make a chart of the chakras including color, gland, body governance and a bunch of other stuff, but I think I'll start that little project with a clearer head! 

One thing I've noticed, especially on days when I'm practicing energy work, I'm going to bed a lot earlier than I used to.  Some nights, I've even hit my exhaustion point around 10:00 which is really early for me considering I've typically hit the sheets closer to 1 AM most nights.  Even tonight, I started my chores earlier and will finish this post in the next few minutes so I'll be in bed shortly after midnight.  I just don't seem to be able to function on six hours a night like I used to!  This strikes me as especially odd since I had heard that you require less sleep as you age!  Clearly, it depends on what else you're doing with your life!

Not that I get any complaints from the furry contingent!  Having my warm body available for longer snuggle sessions suits them just fine!  That doesn't mean they don't start bugging me to go to bed before I'm ready.  It just means that they don't have to nag for as long these days! 

As I'm fading and have no real words of wisdom to impart tonight, I'll just post my gratitudes and call it a night!
1. I am grateful for changes occurring in my life as they ward off boredom and keep me from getting into a rut.
2. I am grateful that I was able to find enough containers to make my meals for the next four days.  I've come to appreciate the nights when I don't need to spend too much time in the kitchen.
3. I am grateful for my aching back as it means I accomplished a lot today.
4. I am grateful for my need for more sleep as I'm waking up more refreshed now.
5. I am grateful for my job as it allows me to do a lot of things I really want to do, and keep moving along the path towards my true purpose.

Love and light.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

August 11, 2013 Lacking motivation and losing sight of our accomplishments

Have you ever had one of those days when you knew you had a ton of things to do and it was all you could do to get one of them done?  Well, that was me today. 

I planned to get up early and go to the gym, get my grocery shopping done, then come home, pay bills, do laundry and get my homework done.

What have I done so far today?  I paid the bills, got one load of clothes in the washer and cleaned off my desk.  That's it!

I still have the rest of the laundry to do and the same humongous pile of homework to get to, not to mention the grocery shopping!  What the heck is wrong with me?  Why can't I get started?  As it is, everything else I try to do bores me yet here I sit, futzing. 

While I was getting ready to go grocery shopping, I found myself thinking:  "You sure are hard on yourself!  Why don't you practice what you preach and focus on what you did get done???"

It was in that moment I realized that I did get some laundry done, cooked myself a healthy breakfast, cooked up the tray of stuffed bell peppers I got at Costco to use for lunches this week and paid the bills. Not only that, I'd had a very productive week to boot!

Too often, we focus on the things we don't get done, completely losing sight of how productive we've actually been.  We beat ourselves up over the "nots" and ignore the many "haves".  We remember to be grateful for outside factors, but forget to be grateful for our own accomplishments.  I think that's what sucked out my motivation today.  I needed to do a little internal gratefulness to get myself back on track.  All I really needed to do was look at my nicely organized bathroom to realize how much I'd done in the past week! 

I then began to realize how much is getting accomplished every day.  Even those days like today, when I mostly just futz around, I still manage to get the kitchen cleaned up after myself, put away groceries and keep the wolves from the door.  After the crazy, manic day I had yesterday (aside from the wonderful two hours when I got a massage and some energy work), getting stuff for the kids' anniversary, buying and putting away about three months worth of cat food and of course, dancing and visiting with friends, I realize that maybe I earned a less productive day!

Not only that, I'll still get three days' worth of meals put up in the refrigerator before bed, finish the laundry and set up the coffee pot for tomorrow.  Pretty good for an unproductive day!

Aside from all of this, I did take time to play with my energy today.  I started to meditate (and, as usual, though Munchkin was sound asleep on my bed, as soon as I put the fleece blanket on my lap, she was there!  Her hearing is unbelievable!) and pulled out some of my old relaxation exercises, feeling all of the places my body connected with the sofa.  Then I merged my own energy with that of the sofa.  Finally, I allowed myself to feel the connection with Munchkin and merged my energy with hers as well. 

I'm rather enjoying being able to merge and unmerge energies this way.  I'm also getting a kick out of moving energy balls through my body.  When they pass through my brain, I feel some resistance and then there's a kind of stretching feeling as the energy ball continues through to the other side. 

I'm sure the cats are tuning into what I'm doing, as, when I sat on the couch to eat my dinner tonight, Dylan immediately jumped up and stretched out next to my leg, Munchkin got on my lap for snuggles, then squeezed in between Dylan and the back of the sofa, Loki curled up on the other side of Dylan and Toby climbed into my lap.  There are times, though, when I think that I am repelling them too.  Scooby, especially, doesn't quite seem to know what to do with the weird things he's feeling from me.  Sometimes, he wants to be really close and other times, he runs away.  He has always been a bit more high strung than the others, so maybe he just feels the energy differently.

At any rate, I still didn't get any homework done, but I feel better about what I did with my day.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for all of the little things I accomplished today.
2. I am grateful for the time I spent talking to people last night.
3. I am grateful for the discoveries I'm making as I practice working with my energy.
4. I am grateful for the connection I have with my cats.  They keep me grounded even when I'm struggling.
5. I am grateful for realizing that there are times I just have to be grateful for being me.

Love and light

Saturday, August 10, 2013

August 10, 2013 The most amazing massage, and feeling overwhelmed.

Today, I had the most amazing massage ever (and for those who know me, that's saying a lot because my massage therapist is phenomenal!).  I discovered that when she connects our energy fields, she is even more successful at finding the places that need work!  If I had been a cat, I would have been sprawled out, every part of me limp as a rag, and purring as loud as I could!!!

That doesn't mean I didn't get things done today, despite the fact that I would have liked to have just gone home and savored the moment.  But today was my daughter and son-in-law's first anniversary, so I had things to do!  I also needed to restock the larder for the furry kids and was very grateful that the wet food I prefer was on sale!  Even so, between wet food (which I bought about 3 months worth of) and dry food, I still spent around $400!  Yikes!  But thankfully, most of that will last me well into November! 

As the first anniversary is paper, I bought the kids a printer.  But I was shocked to discover that the ink cost me more than the darn printer!  I think HP sells their printers at a loss because they know they'll make it up and then some on the darned ink!!!

I'm also discovering an interesting phenomenon.  The more I practice my energy work, the less I feel like eating.  I'm continuing to notice that my clothes are fitting looser, which is a good thing, but it strikes me as odd that I'm burning energy and feeling less inclined to replace it with food.  I'm not sure if this is a temporary situation or if I'm going to continue to have less of an appetite the more work I do.  I guess I'll find out!

Now for the overwhelmed part.  My instructor assigned a ton of homework which is due at the next weekend session.  The problem is, we only had two weekends between the last session and the next one.  Meanwhile, we have to read 6 chapters in one book and 3 plus the prologue in another.  We have a bunch of energy exercises to do and journal (I'm using my blog in case you hadn't noticed) plus 15 essay questions to answer and a very extensive chakra chart to create. 

So far, I've done about half of the energy work, read through all of the chapters, but need to re-read them and answered four of the questions.  As a result, I will go to the gym as early as possible tomorrow, then sequester myself in the house and try to get through the rest of the homework!  I am only glad that the next round will have four weeks between sessions! 

I've been trying to figure out when I can get my hair done and my car serviced, but since the only day I have for those things is Saturday, it looks like it will be another couple of weeks before that happens!  Thankfully, my car was serviced after the actual due date, mileage wise, so I'm really ok, except for the darned idiot light that refuses to turn off.  As for my hair, I have returned to my lovely, frizz ball state and will thus remain until further notice.  <sigh>

Although this isn't me, it will give you a pretty good idea of what I look like right now, with a bit of gray added in for character!

But if frizzy hair and a persistent idiot light are the price I have to pay for what I get to learn, well, as far as I am concerned, it is a more than reasonable price for the benefit I'm receiving on so many levels!

I'm increasing my understanding of how my own body works.  I'm learning how to tap into the energy that's all around us.  I'll be learning how to help other people.  I'm losing my appetite so my ample form will be a little less ample.  I'm interacting with other people better (it took me nearly an hour to get out of Borderline tonight as people kept stopping to talk!), it's improving my relationships all over the place!  I could go on and on!  But clearly, the bottom line is that tuning into the energy is making me a better person!  What more could I ask?

An interesting hypothesis was posed to me today.  What if we could expand our energy fields until we literally plugged into the grid (for lack of a better description) which connected everyone and everything?  Would we then have access to all knowledge which has been accumulated over the ages and continues to accumulate?  Would we instantly know where our assistance was needed?   This totally expands the concept of a morphogenetic field to the point of infinity!  I just need to make sure that I conduct my experiments in this regard when I'm not operating heavy machinery.  I tend to start thinking about things like this when I'm driving and it takes my attention away from the road.  It's fine as long as everyone is behaving themselves and traffic is moving along smoothly, but could be disastrous if something unexpected were to happen. 

For now, I'm going to take my tired body to bed (I seem to be getting tired earlier and sleeping more deeply lately too, aside from those early morning awakenings to answer the call of nature!) as I actually did quite a bit today, between hauling cat food, wrapping anniversary gifts, making banners and putting all of my purchases away!  (which also involved taking the shop vac apart and putting it back together to vacuum up the cat food I managed to pour on the garage floor as I tried to get it safely into my bins!)

So I will, as usual, leave you with my gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for the changes my energy work is making in my life.
2. I am grateful for the way I am attracting people to me instead of pushing them away.
3. I am grateful for the way my cats are reacting to increases in energy levels.
4. I am grateful that I have a full day tomorrow to go to the gym and work on my homework (with a little bit of laundry thrown in for variety)
5. I am grateful for an other fabulous night of dancing that filled my joy meter to the brim!

Love and light.

Friday, August 9, 2013

August 9, 2013 Energy training

I've started reading a book called "Energy Work:  The Secrets of Healing and Spiritual Development" for my class.  In it, there are exercises to help gain awareness of the body's energy. 

I don't know if it's just because we're in a period of heightened energy or because of my previous experiences, but when it instructed me to touch a part of my body before starting the exercise so I'd know how that spot felt, I decided to try it without the tactile "hints" and found that it worked just fine!  I think a lot of it has to do with the practice I've had with connecting with and relaxing various parts of my body as I've learned how to ward off most migraines.  As a result, when I'm instructed to focus on my knee, I can not only feel the knee but the energy running around and through it. 

Interestingly, when I focused on my right knee, I felt a sensation of cold while with my left knee it was more warmth.  I'm wondering if it has to do with the fact that I've had surgery on my right knee and that lately, my left knee has been experiencing some pain again? 

While focusing on the specified body parts:  knees big toes, elbows, thumbs and a couple of other random parts, I noticed sensations of heat or cold and a feeling like there was energy running over my skin, into the joints and flowing through the veins and arteries.  I also tried to focus on the energy field surrounding the specified body part to see if it changed.  What I found was that it did ebb and flow and I noticed a lot of blue energy surrounding whichever spot I was working on. 

When I was instructed to brush fingers across my palm, I found that it wasn't really necessary to achieve the sensation of a brushing movement from my wrist to the tips of my fingers.  The same was true of my feet.  I could clearly feel the energy running back and forth across the soles of my feet, though nothing was physically touching them.  In fact, I can bring these sensations up, pretty much at will.

At this point, the author shifted to electric blue energy balls.  First we were instructed to bring our hands apart and together, trying to feel and visualize this energy ball.  As I tend to be both visual and kinetic, I not only "saw" the energy  ball, but felt a very definite pulsing between my hands, especially as I brought them closer together.  That little ball was just humming with my body's energy, and was quite a beautiful sight as well!  (Note I put the word "saw" in quotes because this isn't a seeing as with the eyes, but more of a mind's eye seeing, or something the author likes to call "clairvoyance")

As I began moving the energy ball though my body, beginning with my arms and chest, and later graduating to my brow and temples, I could feel a warmth as the ball passed through my body and my brain.  As it passed through my brain, I felt that my awareness increased and had I continued the exercise for much longer, I might have experienced some pain as a pulsing began in my temples as I passed the energy ball from side to side.

At this point, I had to take a break as working with so much energy was beginning to tire me.  Although I did a couple of more exercises several hours later, my body told me that I needed to pace myself and used a wandering mind to pull me away from excessive practice.  As I am really enjoying the sensations and really focusing on feeling the energy moving through my body, it's a little frustrating, but I know that I do have to pace myself until I learn how to bank the energy.  Our first weekend of classes knocked the stuffing out of me and, apparently, some of my classmates as well! 

Later in the book, there are lessons in "banking" energy, but until I've mastered that and learned to keep my energy banks full, I have to learn to exercise patience and not try to push myself too far with the exercises.  I don't know, at this point, if I could experience energy burnout from too much practice, but I am not willing to take the chance and find myself impaired for any length of time.

All in all, the energy work I've done today has made me more tired than usual.  I ran an errand, skipped the gym (again!) and came home to relax, have some dinner and cuddle with the cats.  It's just after 10 and I'm seriously considering calling it a night as I'm actually drained!

One more thing.  I find that, like when I meditate, whenever I'm working with energy, I have several cats close by.  Munchkin, especially, seems very drawn to the energy I give off when I'm practicing energy work, meditating or working with Tarot cards.  I guess cats have varying degrees of sensitivity just like humans!

But my head is beginning to throb and my body craves sleep so I'll end with my gratitudes:
1. I am grateful that I'm finding it fairly easy to tap into my body's energies.
2. I am grateful that I've learned to listen to my body when it tells me it needs something.  This is going to be essential as I move further into working with those energies.
3. I am grateful for my heightened sensitivity right now, even though it has me running the gamut from hyper to completely drained...and everything in between.
4. I am grateful for my own aches and pains which give me the opportunity to practice sending healing energy to myself.
5. I am grateful for people coming into my life with various maladies which give me practice at seeing if I can detect and even offer healing to some of them.  Practice, practice, practice!

Love and light