Welcome to my Journey

Hello, and welcome to my Journey. Over the last few years I have been learning more about my personal journey, my Path and my Soul Purpose. The further I travel, the easier I find it to share my journey with others, and to learn from their journeys as well. The most recent evolution has caused me to expand my Universe and allow more people access to my travels, as well as allowing me access to more people, their travels and what they have learned as they walk their own paths. Feel free to share your journey here as we all have much to learn in our lives as Divine Beings having a Human experience.

Love and Light.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

February 28, 2013 This stuff really works!

Today I began my meditation as I have for the past few days with the thought "I am Source".  What followed was nothing short of an epiphany!

Into my mind came the thought of a person with whom I have come to simply shut down because of his propensity towards talking over everyone and either refusing to listen or categorically proclaiming their contributions to be unnecessary,  unwanted or flat out irrelevant.  As I sat pondering this person's actions, my reactions and the fact that we are both Source, I realized that what I have been pondering is quite true.  What bothers me in him is a flaw in me!  I, too have been guilty of tuning people out, talking over them and essentially negating the value of what they have to say.  As this thought passed through my mind, a tremendously bright white light filled my mental vision.  Aha!  it said.  Thou hast hit on it!  And at that very moment, I promised myself that I would strive to listen more and speak less, giving everyone's thoughts and ideas the attention and value they deserve.  There is so much I stand to learn by giving the perceptions of others a chance to be heard.  But not just heard, listened to!

I know that this should be a completely obvious concept to comprehend and on a conscious level, it is.  However, understanding and practicing are often leagues apart!  But the first step to finding a resolution is to recognize that a problem exists.  Thus, I have recognized that my listening skills could bear significant improvement.  The beauty of improving this skill is that not only does it benefit me by making me open my mind to divergent ideas, but it allows me to give something to others by showing them that their insights are valued, at least by me.  It is also possible that by showing them that I value their insights, I might give someone else a chance to improve their listening skills and maybe even learn something new from someone they had, in the past, discounted.  I see this as a Win-Win-Win situation!

This is not to say that I have completely ceased thinking or speaking of certain individuals in uncomplimentary terms, but it is making me more aware of it, and causing me to think before those comments pass my lips.  My ultimate goal is to stop them from occurring in the first place, but I know that will take time to change the habits and establish the new, better ones.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, or, in my case, the dance hall, the laws of attraction continue to yank my chain.  Tonight, while talking to a couple of friends, they mentioned a song they liked to do a couples' dance called Desperado Wrap to.  When asked if I recognized it, I told them that I rarely get to do that dance, so I don't pay attention to the songs they play.  Well, what do you think happened?  Of course, you know that for the first time in months, I was asked to dance that particular couples' dance!  Yes, folks, the "I don't wants" and the "I don't get to's" work just as well as the "I'm grateful that I am's"!  Not that I want to run my life that way, but be very careful what you wish for!!!  In this case, it worked out wonderfully, but it was a very loud reminder to be very careful what I put out to the Universe as I know from experience that it has a wicked sense of humor!

All in all, it was a delightful evening with many of my friends in attendance, and a couple of birthdays to celebrate, including my friend, Peggy who is a leap year baby.  We had a delightful time teasing her and plying her with chocolate and Cosmos.  I hope her head feels ok in the morning!!  She's fun in general, but with a bit of a buzz, she's even more of a hoot than usual!   I stayed until 10, although when Jeff DJ's, I almost have to because he plays 4-5 two steps, not one, but two (and sometimes three!) couples dances, a WCS and maybe a waltz for good measure between the sets of four or five line dances.  As the lack of men has been extremely pronounced lately, that means that we single girls either fight over the scant few guys there are or sit around for 45 minutes of every hour waiting for the meager line dance set.  Thankfully, he played quite a few high energy dances, and since I got there at 6, I got a few dances in before the lessons and the DJ'ing got underway.  I really want Josh back!  He's the very best DJ they have and understands not only that he needs to spread the night out as evenly as possible between couples dancing and line dancing, but also that the weird song choices and mind numbingly boring line dances should, for the most part, be saved for the after 10 crowd.  He clearly relates better to the younger crowd, and that's fine, but the older crowd needs love too!  The good news is, since he DJ'd tonight, we have a decent chance of getting Josh for Saturday night!  I'm crossing fingers, toes and any other body parts I can cross in hopes that my very favorite DJ will be on board for Saturday night! 

Granted, I stayed until my feet were complaining too loudly to dance any more, but am I ever really satisfied?  Do I ever really get all the dancing I want in?  I have worn through the gel soles I have in my boots, though, and need to replace them before Saturday night!  Those suckers are flatter than a pancake after being pressed by a steam roller!  No wonder my feet started whining, the wimps!  I also had to bite my tongue and throw some imaginary heart shaped confetti after asking an older woman if she could move into the large empty space next to her so that the two people on the other side of me would have a bit more room to dance. Her response was "this is MY spot and this is where I dance so I am NOT moving!"  I was dumbfounded!  As if a spot a few feet to the left of where she was standing would make any difference whatsoever!  But this was definitely a warning to remind me to be more sharing on the dance floor and to be willing to give a little even when the kids take to the floor and start getting wild and ignore the fact that there are other people on the dance floor.  Please, Universe, keep me positive so I am the happy, fun older lady instead of the cranky one.  I deserve better and so do the people around me!!!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful (once again) for imaginary heart shaped confetti.
2. I am grateful for wonderful, fun, loving friends.
3. I am grateful for new people joining our happy circle all the time.
4. I am grateful for dancing until my feet cry for mercy.
5. I am grateful for weekends to pursue projects and even find some down time.

Love and light.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

February 27, 2013. Laws of attraction in action

This morning I was having a conversation with someone who chose to take a negative viewpoint.   Their response to my attempt to turn their negativity was less than enthusiastic. When the conversation ended, I spent a few minutes putting myself back into a positive frame of mind and sending positive energy and imaginary heart shaped confetti to them.  Upon further thought, I realized that I can only be responsible for keeping my own attitude positive. Only by being positive, complimentary and uncomplaining can I hope to bring positive change to the world around me.

For a few moments, I lost sight of the fact that everyone has the right to choose their own path and that the very best thing I can do for those I care for is to accept their right to make those choices and to send them all of the love and light I can.  Their paths will not be made easier or more pleasant for my intervention.  No, let me call a spade a spade. My meddling won't change their choices or make their path smoother. Only my love and acceptance can do that.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity today, to solidify one of the many lessons I'm learning as I wander along my path in fits and starts at times, and at a sprint, others.   I am learning that a large part of my learning and growth are the experiences which serve to remind me of the lessons I am learning and to show me where I need to continue to practice some of those lessons until they become second nature.  I also need to keep reminding myself not only that I am Source, but so is everyone else, and as we are all connected as one being, all of our qualities, good, bad and indifferent, are part of all of us.  When I see something in someone else that makes me unhappy or uncomfortable, it means I need to look within and fix that which, in myself, is making me uncomfortable or unhappy.  As we are all the Source, we all reflect off of each other.  We all offer lessons to each other to be mastered.  And we all can love each other because in so doing, we are loving ourselves. 

I will awaken tomorrow morning feeling absolutely marvelous because I have an amazing day ahead of me.  I am one with the Universe and the Universe is perfect, so I am perfect as is anyone I meet.  With all of this beauty, perfection and love, the day cannot possibly be anything less than amazing!

My gratitudes tonight are:

1. I am grateful that the Universe sees fit to remind me of my lessons.
2. I am grateful to be this wonderful Source and to share my Source-ness with everyone and everything.
3. I am grateful for an abundance of health, success, opportunities, lessons and love.
4. I am grateful for the lessons I will practice tomorrow.
5. I am grateful for the ease and flow of life around me and within me.

Love and light.

February 26, 2013 From adversity to positivity.

Arriving at work today after staying home yesterday as a result of trying to give myself a black eye, I blithely put my key into the lock only to find that it didn't work!  I looked at the key in my hand to assure myself that I was using the right one (not that I'd EVER try to open the front door of my house with my office key or vice versa!) then tried one more time, to no avail.  Using my second option, I rang the bell on the warehouse door and immediately gained entrance.  Fortunately it was timing and not something personal.  It seems that we fired our cleaning service only to discover that they have a history of refusing to accept being fired, and filing small claims suits claiming termination without proper notice.  As they had not returned our key, the locks had to be changed.  So really, it wasn't me! :)

Aside from the false start, I did manage to get a great deal accomplished today, and came home to eat a quick dinner and get laundry going.  As unmotivated as I was yesterday, spending most of the day either sleeping or fighting off a killer headache, today was quite the opposite.  I organized, researched, planned and solved all day long!  Now I feel energized and filled with a feeling of positivity which will build many bridges and reap many rewards.  Messages I've sent out to the Universe are coming back to me with amazing results.  A film I watched the other day led me to meditate on the concept "I am Source".  I signed up for a small online course today, and in the first lesson, it stated that I should realize that I am Source.  How's that for confirmation?  I feel the wheels of synchronicity spinning wildly, waiting for the next opportunity to show me that my path is wide open and obstacle free.  That is not to say that I won't still face challenges because those challenges are my lessons and without lessons, why bother to tread a path at all?  But the giant boulders, the snowdrifts, the slow moving trucks will be noticeably and permanently absent from now on.  I will have clear direction letting me know if I'm going the right way or not.  I will remember that since I am Source, all who I encounter are part of me and I, them.  If something in another person annoys me, I will look within to find it in myself and to understand why and what is bothering me so I can fix it. 

I will take responsibility for whatever is happening in my life and not seek to blame someone or even give them credit for the hitch in my gitalong.  I will appreciate every little thing, and continue looking for more things to appreciate, even if I don't see the results in this time and place, I will see the results I want as if they have already happened and I am enjoying the joys and benefits those results engendered.  In short, whatever I want or need is in the here and now, and I am filled with Joy that this is so. 

I am sitting here in my beautifully remodeled and decorated home watching my cats playing in their custom designed playground.  My recent book is on the bestseller list and I have three more in progress.  I am a perfect size 8 and have a closet full of gorgeous clothes which satisfy my need for simplicity, comfort and understated elegance.  I enjoy having small, intimate gatherings with my talented, intelligent, amazing friends and have built a studio where I can either exercise or practice my dancing.  I have a private coach who is teaching me how to move fluidly and with grace (even though that grace is still noticeably absent when I do something ans mundane as walking across a room).  I spend a couple of days a week working on various causes which are near and dear to my heart.  I alternate between sitting in my well-appointed, well-lit office to write, or sitting on my patio with my laptop, enjoying the fresh air and the quiet of the neighborhood while everyone is at work or school. 

And I am filled with Joy.  I continue to add to my list of accomplishments so that I will never fade into ennui.  There's always another story to tell or adventure to take or cause to support.  My children and grandchildren are happy and healthy and pursuing their own dreams, but we share each others' lives often and well.

Such is the focus of my meditations these days.  It begins with "I am Source" and follows a pattern of abundance, kindness and thoughts of well-being for all.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for continued affirmations that I am on the right path.
2. I am grateful for an abundance of positive energy to ensure abundance in all aspects of my life.
3. I am grateful for my wonderful life.
4. I am grateful for unconditional love.
5. I am grateful for hopes and dreams.

Love and light

Sunday, February 24, 2013

February 24, 2013 #2 Just another lazy day in Paradise.

I guess posting early in the day knocked the stuffing out of me (or maybe it was hefting the 40 pound boxes of cat sand!) but little more got done aside from errands today.  I did have a very nice, albeit short, guided meditation which was recommended by a friend.  I did need to augment it with a few more minutes of unguided meditating (unless you count the cats laying on my chest and behind my head, purring) as I'm used to longer meditations and the shortness of this one left me feeling unfinished. 

I also watched a marvelous film that was recommended by a friend called "Three Magic Words".  I'm going to be mulling over it for awhile, though because there was a lot in it to ponder.  Although the film refers to "God" a lot, I was happy to see that at least one person interviewed was, like me, uncomfortable with the word and chose to use something else.  I tend to use "Source" and "Universe" somewhat interchangeably so I've added "I am Source" to my thoughts and will endeavor to mold myself into a more divine being beginning with my interactions with others.  It won't be easy and it won't be quick, but what it will be is worth the effort.  I also have a very difficult time respecting spiders, but maybe that will come as I move further down the continuum I refer to as my path.  In the meantime, as long as they don't cross my path, we won't have any issues (and they will remain unsquished). 

Although my cats love to snuggle and be close, and some more than others, I've found that certain activities are more likely to attract them than others.  At the very top of the list is anything spiritual.  If I bring out the Tarot cards, it's all I can do to keep them from lying on top of the cards.  If I sit down to meditate, I have at least two or three in my lap and snuggled up beside me.  I've noticed this for a long time, but as I spend more time meditating, it has really become impossible to ignore.  They seem to know the difference between sitting down to read or watch tv and sitting down to meditate, and they know it before I even get settled!  The only thing I can figure is that I send out a different sort of energy and cats are known to pick up on subtle energy changes.  Today, no sooner did I sit down than Toby was in my lap, settling himself between my chin and my knees, gazing lovingly into my face and purring as if his life depended on it.  Munchkin snuggled up beside me and Dylan lay on the back of the sofa.  When the guided portion ended and I switched on the ambient music station on Pandora, Toby jumped down, Munchkin curled up in my lap and Dylan started purring as loud as he could.  They are clearly active participants in my spiritual exercises and awakening.

During the guided meditation, the instructor suggested that we try to connect with the other callers via our heart chakra.  As I strove to comply, I first saw a network of connecting lines stretching across the country, almost like the picture shown in some of the cell phone commercials, except the the lines pulsed with energy.  Then I began seeing a double helix stretching far into the sky made up of individual dots in a rainbow of colors.  Following yesterday's massage, my heart chakra appeared to me as a softball sized white crystal which is not a normal color for a heart chakra, but I don't tend to follow the rules anywhere else, so why should this be any different?  Once again, I saw the large, white crystal above my heart chakra.  I also visualized a few faces passing by my field of vision.  One was definitely a female but the rest passed by too quickly to tell.  At some points, my hearing was heightened and at others, I was completely in another place.

I did stand up and take notice while she spoke before the meditation because she talked about energies speeding up.  This was just one more affirmation to what I've been feeling for the last few months, but especially the last few days.  It is clear to me now that I am definitely plugged directly into whatever changes are ramping up right now, so I must have some sort of responsibility connected with whatever will soon be required.  I only hope that I figure out where I need to be and what I need to do in time to get myself in place and ready to roll.  I am grateful that the tools I'm going to need seem to be appearing in my hands almost daily now, even if they're not coming with instruction manuals.  I still have at least a little time to figure out how they work before I'm called upon to use them.  I expect that my meditations and my dreams will be yielding a great deal more information now. 

And with that, I'm retiring hours earlier than normal.  I don't know why, but will just go with the flow.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that the Universe is providing me with the tools I need to complete my mission.
2. I am grateful for a growing number of friends who understand what I'm trying to say even when it doesn't seem to be coming out clearly.
3. I am grateful for confirmations and explanations which are suddenly appearing with greater regularity.
4. I am grateful for they way my cats are connecting with the changing energy along with me.
5. I am grateful for quiet, somewhat lazy days to work on making myself better, stronger and wiser.

Love and light.

February 24, 2013 Post #1 Dreams and enlightenment

I woke up this morning feeling rather blue.  I'm not really sure if it was the dream I was having or if my mood caused the dream. 

I was with some kind of large tour group which was broken up into smaller segments for the various activities we participated in.  While waiting for our turn to ride some horses, I wandered off into a huge barn-like structure where I saw a pig in a small crate in someone's office.  Upon leaving the office, I saw a pen with a whole bunch of pigs.  A lot of the space in this barn seemed to be taken up by large, green metal structures or containers (I couldn't tell which) and eventually, I found myself lost and unable to find my way back to where I was supposed to be as it all started to look the same. I found a woman working and asked her to help me find my way back.  Once back, I wasn't content to stay put and started wandering again.  I saw a large metal box laying on its side and somehow knew that it was used for some kind of training and, when upright, could be pushed across the floor.  I asked to try it and a man set it upright, then moved it to an area which was used for this training.  He told me to try to push it 15 yards and that I'd know when I was getting there as the box would slow down.  I actually pushed it quite a ways, but finally stopped, saying that it was harder than it looked.  (I have to add that I started feeling sharp pains in my right knee in the dream, and woke up thinking I'd re-injured it, but once I started moving, the pain abated) 

Subsequent wandering took me to a large room filled with tables.  Someone was handing out hamburgers to one of the smaller groups from the tour.  Not seeing my own group, I grabbed one of the hamburgers and began looking for an isolated place to sit.  Every time I thought I'd found one, some people would sit down near where I was about to go.  I finally just sat down at the end of a table which was temporarily empty and began assembling my burger.  As I put the cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and onions on my burger, people around me began passing me their onions.  I guess eating all of those onions would give me the solitude I was craving, huh?  But they were very friendly about it, not seeming to mind that I would have major onion breath!  It seemed that the more distant I tried to be, the friendlier people around me became, but without being invasive.  Eventually, their kindness and understanding began to win me over and I started chatting with them while we ate. 

I had taken the top piece of bread off of my burger to assemble it, but had what looked like a bagel crisp only soft which I put on top instead.  I noticed that the man beside me had a butter knife and asked where he got it.  He told me I could use it to cut my burger in half (the thing was huge and there was no way I could pick the whole thing up to eat it!)  By then, the chairs around me were filled with people and it no longer seemed to bother me.

As is typical with my recollection of dreams, this one is jumping around.  I remember a scene where there was a tiered tray of what appeared to be pastries.  While helping herself to one, my friend, Peggy, told me that they were a Japanese pastry which wasn't really very sweet.  Trying to help myself to one, I kept trying to pick one up that was falling apart, and as there were no plates or napkins, I was trying to find one that was neater.  I finally gave up and started wandering around again. 

It seemed that we were in some kind of port with trucks passing back and forth.  Some of them had signs about dog rescue in the area, and animals seemed to be revered and protected.  Both dogs and cats wandered around freely, were very friendly and well cared for.  Conversations with other people seemed to indicate that this was not my first trip of this sort.  We talked about differences between this trip and our last (which wasn't necessarily the same one for all of us) and I recalled trucks with cat rescue signs on them from the last trip as well as fresh onions and garlic. 

Each of the sub-groups seemed to have a costume and theme.  One group was dressed in the feathered costumes of chorus girls (and, in fact, got on the horseback tour ahead of us).  My group was dressed in cowboy attire, jeans, boots, chaps, vests, etc.  Another group was dressed like lumberjacks in plaid shirts and jeans.  I'm not sure where my subconscious was going with this!!! 

One thing I am getting out of this dream is that I was feeling as if I didn't belong or fit, which I was, in fact, discussing with my massage therapist yesterday.  In the dream, I believe I was being shown that although I might feel very different, people accepted me for myself and didn't expect me to fit any particular mold.  In essence, I'm fine the way I am and just because I dress differently, think differently or believe differently, I am in no way an outcast and can be loved just the way I am.  Which makes sense because, frankly, I value my friends for their differences because, if nothing else, it makes for interesting conversations.  In talking to a woman at the mini reunion yesterday, she said that she and her husband were opposites in a lot of ways and preferred it that way.  I remarked that I would agree because I really wouldn't want to look at my partner and be looking in the mirror at all of my own qualities and faults!  Differences certainly create balance.  If I'm with someone who is as crazy and passionate as I am, it might be fun for awhile, but we quickly burn each other out.  Whereas someone who can be comfortable with my excesses while remaining fairly even tempered most of the time would essentially give me a place to rest and regroup when my passionate energy waned. 

Could it be that in the convoluted manner of most of my dreams, this one has shown me that I can and, in fact, am opening myself up to possibilities I haven't considered for a very long time?  That I can develop new friendships, consider new ideas and changes to my current path without freaking out about it, and will, in fact, find support, acceptance and loving individuals waiting to help me along that path? 

Yes, indeed.  Changes are coming and they won't be coming gently.  Some will be global and some will be intensely personal, but they are coming in a tsunami-like wave which will turn some people upside down and inside out while some of us will grab a handy plank and ride out the wave like an expert surfer while yelling "Woo hoo!!!  Bring it on!!!!" 

As this is the first post of the day, I'll save my gratitudes for this evening's post.  And I really need to just ponder the implications of my subconscious for awhile.

A beautiful day to all.  (Oh, and I'm no longer feeling blue, but instead, energized!)

Love and light.

February 23, 2013 All I can say is "Wow!"

Today was so amazing, I can't even figure out where to start so I guess I'll start at the beginning of the day. 

As we often do, my massage therapist and I chatted before my massage, but today, more than ever, she was a wealth of insight for me!  I mentioned me feeling of a major change coming up and she threw out a couple of things which totally resonated with the feeling (if you recall, I did suggest that if I sent the thought out to the Universe, it was likely that I'd get responses which contained pieces of the puzzle, and I certainly did!).  She gave me a couple of sources of information and the name of a woman who has been talking about this shift for about 10 years.  If I think back, that about fits when I started to feel like I have an important role in the changing world consciousness, but I go back and forth over what that role might be.  At times, I feel like I will be a lightworker, and at others, a warrior, while still others have me everywhere in between.  What the real answer is remains to be seen.  But in the meantime, I have some watching and reading to do. 

We also discussed the fact that I no longer feel comfortable with the guided meditation group I had gone to, so I no longer attend.  She told me that it might be time for me to find another teacher.  From her lips to the Universe's ears.  Today, a friend told me about a telephone guided meditation tomorrow and gave me the information so I could attend.  Talk about "ask and it is given!"  It seems that part of this shift I'm feeling could well involve manifesting like I've never seen before!  You'd better believe I'm putting my very best, and most outrageous intentions out there during this cycle. 

After my massage, as is our custom, I pulled a rune and she gave me a printout of it's meaning.  Of late, the runes I pull have had an uncanny tendency to be exactly right and this one was no different.  Today I pulled Uruz.  I am going to type the meaning verbatim because it is so exactly fitting with what is going on in my life over the next few months that I can't put it any better than the author of the book did:
"The Rune of terminations and new beginnings, drawing Uruz indicates that the life you have been living has outgrown its form.  That form must die so that new energy can be released in a new form.  This is a Rune of passage and, as such, part of the Cycle of Initiation.

Positive Growth and change, however, may involve a descent into darkness as part of the cycle of perpetual renewal.  As in nature, this progression consists of five aspects:  death, decay, fertilization, gestation, rebirth.  Events occurring now may well prompt you to undergo a death within yourself.  Since self-change is never coerced--we are always free to resist--remain mindful that the new life is always greater than the old. 

Prepare, then for the opportunity disguised as loss.  It could involve the loss of someone or something to which you have an intense emotional bond, and through which you are living a part of your life, a part that must now be retrieved so you can live it out for yourself.  In some way, that bond is being severed, a relationship radically changed, a way of life coming to an end.  Seek among the ashes and discover a new perspective and new strength. 

The ancient symbol for Urus was the aurochs, a wild ox.  When the wild ox was domesticated--an immensely difficult task -- it could transport heavy loads.  Learn to adapt yourself to the demands of such a creative time.  Firm principles attach to this rune.  At the same time humility is called for, since in order to rule you must learn how to serve.  Uruz puts you on notice that your soul and the Universe support the new growth."

Holy macaroni!  I can see very clearly that this is my relationship with my daughter changing.  Of course, the change began over a year ago, but the changes are definitely becoming more radical of late.  My social life has begun to develop independently of hers, as hers has of mine.  But I can see myself descending into darkness, if only a little bit, when our entire routines are required to alter.  I'm already forming some new bonds, but realize that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and the rest will be surfacing sooner than I think.

From all of this, it might appear that my feelings of a large shift are intensely personal, but the reality is that my personal shift is definitely in process, but is a necessary occurrence to enable me to support the much larger, global shift that is coming faster and faster.  The question is, will I have time to complete my own shift before I'm called upon to support the bigger picture?  Or will the distance I've gone by the time I am needed be sufficient to enable me to fulfill the role I'm intended for?

Once again, I'm left with more questions than answers, but if the Universe is true to the form it showed me today, it won't be long before I start seeing answers.

I've written almost 1000 words, and haven't even gotten past this morning!!!  If you're reading this post, you might want to go fix yourself a snack, because I may go on for longer than usual tonight!

Today was another of what has become our semi-annual AHS reunions.  I love going to these because I get to reconnect with some incredible people, and meet a few who are new to me each time, but today, the energy was especially high and the day was absolutely gorgeous.  I spent several hours exchanging ideas and learning a little more about several women who have conquered many obstacles to become the amazing, talented, inspirational, positive energy filled women they are today.  Words are insufficient to communicate how incredibly blessed I am to be included in this amazing group of women.  (I'm not ignoring the guys, here, and many of them are equally talented and amazing but it really is the women who inspire me.  The guys are the icing on my cake!)  As we talked about everything from healing to ADHD to writing and everything in between, I felt like I was in a crash course on life and achievement.  It will take me several days to absorb the gifts I was given today.

An already full and complete day was only elevated to star status with more than my usual share of dancing, and a sweet surprise.  My daughter brought us homemade, gluten free hamentashen!  I could simply plotz from the pleasure of it all!    And the ratio of men to women wasn't as extreme tonight, so I got a lot of two-stepping and some couples dancing in.  I tell you, there isn't much that could have made me happier today.  I'm bursting with it as it is!  I even got a lot of chat time in with my dance friends in between all of the dancing.  Maybe that's why I didn't get home until almost 11!

But wait!  It gets even better!  A couple more people told me they were reading my almost nightly babbles!  I'm totally stoked about that!!!   It may not seem like much, but to me, it's that much more encouragement to get that first book started!  If people are reading my jumble of thoughts and being entertained and maybe even given things to think about, imagine what I could do if I managed to stay on topic?

My gratitudes tonight are:
 1. I am incredibly grateful to my readers.
2. I am grateful for inspiration.
3. I am grateful for extraordinary dance nights.
4. I am grateful for so many wonderful, talented, intelligent, amazing people to inspire me.
5. I am grateful for my part in the change in global consciousness.

Love and light.

Friday, February 22, 2013

February 22, 2013 Exercising positivity

Today I found myself harboring negative thoughts and words and realized I needed a bit of a tune up.  I know that those thoughts and words will attract undesirables, so it is imperative that I halt the cycle before it begins.  I began my noon-time meditation by sending positive thoughts and energy to all of the people and situations for which I'd found myself harboring resentment, anger, frustration or any of the multitude of destructive emotions.  As I sent positive thoughts to each one, I felt myself growing lighter and more relaxed and at peace.  That is not to say that I was able to, in one session, eliminate all negative thoughts and feelings, but I turned myself back from going deeper into the sea of despair and began looking for positive qualities rather than continuing to allow things to irritate and make me crazy.

Despite outward appearances, staying positive is like a good relationship.  It takes hard work and diligence to keep from giving up and going with a negative flow.  Certainly, some days will be better than others, but with effort, we can make the choice to have good days and better ones rather than good days and bad. Having wallowed in that sea of despair enough times over the years, I am more inclined to notice when I'm starting to backslide and to put forth the effort to get back on my chosen path instead of allowing myself to be dragged down the path of least resistance which will never take me where I really want to go.  I also refuse to allow myself to believe that by letting myself be taken down a path not of my own choosing isn't a choice I've made.  Rather, it is my own choice to be lazy and allow someone or something else to choose my path for me and just go with the flow.  If nothing else, making that choice is going to leave me with lessons I would not normally have chosen for myself, but which are given to me when I relinquish the decision over which path I'm going to follow.  That is not to say that when I do choose a path, that I choose the exact course or direction, but more that I choose where I would like to end up and then allow the Universe to set the course so that I gain the experience I will need when I reach that next goal.

Sometimes, that path is straight and direct with few obstacles or misdirections.  But more frequently, the path is filled with twists, turns, forks in the road and switchbacks requiring full engagement of my thought processes and learning skills to navigate the challenges.  At the end of the day, surprisingly enough, these are the ones I prefer because when I do finally conquer the obstacles, I'm better, stronger and smarter for the experience and ready to take on even greater goals because I have proven to myself that I can navigate the rapids and come out of them warm, dry and filled with a sense of accomplishment.

The path I'm on right now is definitely one filled with twists and turns and an abundance of opportunities for me to give up and coast.  Sliding back into negative thoughts is one of those obstacles and is there precisely because I need to learn to recognize the tendency sooner rather than later and take steps to avoid the detour and distraction.  It seems, at times, like this particular obstacle is being thrown at me with more than normal frequency which leads me to surmise that it is especially important for me to master the skills necessary to overcome this trap.  Clearly, I'll need to bring a well-established sense of positivity into the next chapter  in order to fully appreciate what is waiting for me at the end of this set of lessons.  In fact, I'll take a page from the book of someone who recently wrote that they were going to wrap themselves in a pink bubble of positivity.  That way, all negative thoughts, feelings and deeds will just bounce off before they ever get to me and their influence will be positivated.

But now I sit here with my stomach doing somersaults.  Is it something I ate or anticipation of the shift?  Or could it be my internal precourser to an earthquake?  Only time will answer this question for me.

As usual, all great plans are subject to change.  Instead of coming home, getting on the Wii and doing my hair, I ended up stopping to pick up some vitamins and sushi, then babysitting a 4 year old sweetie and by the time his dad picked him up, it was too late to do my hair.  I'll have to do my best to get up at the crack of dawn so I can do it before my massage as it is really bad!!!

Somersaulting stomach appears to have been either a false alarm or a very early warning as all is quiet here for the moment.

My gratitudes are:
1. I am grateful for a strong, healthy body.
2. I am grateful to be able to alter plans and still come out ok.
3. I am grateful for new and interesting opportunities.
4. I am grateful for kitty cuddles.
5. I am grateful for new experiences.

Love and light

Thursday, February 21, 2013

February 21, 2013 Taking care

I discovered tonight that I have to be a little more careful about where I let my fingers take me, at least as it relates to other people in my life.  As this is a public blog, anyone can, if they choose, read and even share the contents.  Thus, a piece of information about the lives of my daughter and son-in-law inadvertently got into the wrong hands and for that, I humbly apologize.  From here on out, I will endeavor to edit out that kind of over sharing before I hit the "publish" button.  What I choose to share about my own life is one thing, but it is not my place to make public anything from the lives of anyone else.  Mea culpa and lesson learned.  I will get on my soapbox very briefly to state that I believe children are precious gifts and deserve to be loved and cherished, but never used as pawns in manipulative power games.    End of sermon.

Once again, I am feeling as if a big shift is coming.  At the moment, I'm not really sure what or who will be affected, or where the shift is coming from, but I definitely see some radical changes coming to pass over the next 4-6 months.  The changes will definitely be for the good in the long run, but as with all changes, resistance will magnify the negative aspects and diminish the positive.  But this, too, shall pass.  My feeling is that it is less on a personal scale (this time) and more on a global one.  As the images I'm currently receiving are pretty fuzzy, I'm sure that as they become clearer, I'll be able to share more insight into what I can truly only call a shift.  I do get a vague feeling of consciousness, but nothing more than that right now.  I'm guessing that it is a need to know and right now, I don't need to know very much.  It is also possible that those around me are getting different pieces which, when joined with mine will produce a clearer picture.  I'm hoping for some feedback so that can happen.  And as I've always enjoyed puzzles, the real joy may well be in just putting the pieces together to see what the picture looks like!

The weekend looks to be a busy one with a massage, reunion, chores, errands and of course, dancing,  so I'm very grateful that my car is not only completely fixed, including the nasty noise from the glove compartment, but it has had a bath and the gas tank topped off for me.  I think the dealer felt bad that they forgot to call and tell me that they had to keep it over night.  Thank goodness my daughter followed up and discovered that she needed to get me over there to pick up a loaner car right away or I might have been stranded!

My train of thought keeps jumping the track tonight.  I seem to follow a thought for a few lines, then drift off into nothingness.  Even staying on task is taking a supreme effort, and the gremlins who sometimes just carry the blog for me are noticeably absent tonight.  There are just some nights when they need to leave me to carry on (or ramble on) on my own.  And trying to grasp the nature of the shift is quite like trying to hold onto a dream after you wake up.  The more I try to see it, the more it drifts away.  I suppose this is another lesson in patience, because I need to exercise it here, and I know I have not mastered that particular lesson yet!  Repetition has, thus far, made me slightly better at it, but a long way from mastery. 

As I seem to be drifting off at what, for me, is a very early hour, I'm going to get my gratitudes written before I POOK which, for those of you who didn't know me in my BBS days, means "Pass out on keyboard". 

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for a quiet house after a long, tiring day.
2. I am grateful for repairs that are still under warranty.
3. I am grateful for always having enough.
4. I am grateful for abundant success, love, happiness and prosperity
5. I am grateful for continued opportunities to improve my skills.

Love and light.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

February 20, 2013 This is a test

I'm testing a theory tonight.  This is one of those nights when I'm sitting down at the computer, believing that I have nothing to say.   The theory I'm testing is the one in which I believe that there are times when I essentially relinquish control of my fingers to the Universe or my Higher Self or some other entity which I cannot name, but who takes over and types something really eloquent and intuitive.  I admit that it doesn't happen every time I sit down with nothing to say, or I'd sit down every single night and just let them have at it.  But the fact that I am sitting down tonight might mean that in my nothingness, they see a place for somethingness. 

While I grope around for a topic or wait for this other to take over, I'll dump a few thoughts from my day.  Upon waking from a series of rather violent dreams this morning, I found myself thinking that I really need to stop watching all of the cop style shows I watch like Castle, NCIS and The Mentalist because, depite the fact that I love watching how they solve the puzzles, the inherent violence is entering my dreams and that can't be good.  However, I didn't pay much attention as I watched NCIS, NCIS Los Angeles and Bones after going for a walk with the kids and my grandpuppy.  The difference tonight is that I watched far fewer hours of TV and cut myself off earlier.  I'm sure that sitting down to write for a little bit will also clear the garbage from my head, allowing me to sleep through the night instead of getting up three or four times, and thus, making me remember what I was dreaming even better! 

Tonight I'm very grateful for my daughter who didn't trust in the Lexus dealership to make sure I got a ride back to my car or wherever I needed to go and called them while she was headed home, only to discover that they hadn't gotten around to calling to tell me that my car wasn't going to be ready due to a lack of parts.  This little fact would not have been communicated to me in time for them to get me a loaner car had my daughter not interceded.  Yet another reason why I don't take my car to the dealer for servicing.  You would think, as a shop which deals exclusively in one make of car that they would, having gotten my car at 8 in the morning, found their way clear to obtain the necessary parts for a two year old car sometime during the day, but, having failed to do so, would have at least called me at some point to let me know that plans had changed!  I'm rather disappointed in their service and will certainly answer their questionnaire with my thoughts on this when it comes in my email!   At any rate, they gave me a loaded ES 350 again.  Heather's theory is that they give you the extra nice loaner car in hopes that it will encourage you to buy something more expensive next time.  Too bad I'm one of those weirdos who actually keeps a car for 10 or 11 years and besides, I love my little IS and have no need for something bigger.  As I backed this tank into my garage tonight, the backup camera nearly had a coronary when I got too close to the shelves and refrigerator at the back of my garage.  As if I don't know how much space I have back there????  I don't care how smart they make these machines, our own experience and perception of space will always be a necessary part of our driving experience. 

While in Chinatown last weekend, Heather and I bought some herbal dieter's tea from one of the tea shops after carefully perusing the ingredients.  I drank my first cup today and I'm certain that it killed my appetite for the rest of the day.  We'll see if this kicks me fitness plan into high gear over the next couple of weeks.  Heaven knows my progress has been slow as I'm not as diligent about what I am eating, nor about getting on the Wii every day as I should be.  The long walk with the kids and Gwennie tonight helped though.  And tomorrow is a dance night, which means plenty of exercise!! 

As I type, Scooby Doo is sitting on my lap, insisting that there are more important things for my hands to do than chatter across these funny black and white squares.  As I clearly disagreed with him and insisting on typing between skritches, he got disgusted and wandered off.  I'm sure I'll pay dearly for my neglect later.  But I wasn't cat-less for long.  As Scooby leapt from my lap, Toby landed on the desk, ready to make himself comfortable as well as available for skritches.  One thing I will never be around here is lonely.   There will always be a kitty or three nearby to keep me company. 

So Heather and Mathom are gearing up for Mathom's return to active duty, this time with the Marines.  And I'm gearing up for having them living far away, and having to figure out how to do things like Loki's fluids and mani pedis on my own.  As much of an adjustment as it was when they moved into their own place, I'm guessing it will be far more traumatic to have them living far away.  Even having them living 10 minutes away on the other side of the valley was difficult at times, but at least I saw them regularly.  When they leave town after Mathom's training, our contact will be via computer or phone.  There won't be those last minute breakfasts or dinners I've gotten so used to.  What that means, overall, is that I need to get more diligent about filling my time.  Better about extending myself to the other people around me and even more self-sufficient about things I've come to count on them to simplify.  Clearly, this will be yet another lesson for me.  And I will rise to the challenge!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for new lessons to be learned.
2. I am grateful for my daughter who is sometimes less trusting than me.
3. I am grateful for brisk walks on cool nights with my hyperactive grandpuppy.
4. I am grateful for the time I get to spend with my daughter and son-in-law before they embark on wherever life will take them.
5. I am grateful for an abundance of opportunities, health and success.

Love and light.

Monday, February 18, 2013

February 18, 2013. Continuation on a theme

I really need to get outside and walk more, not just because its good for my health, but because, when all I really need to do is pay attention to putting one foot in front of the other and try not to run into or be run into by anything, I do some great, uninterrupted thinking.

As I walked over to pick up my car from the shop today and take it to the tire shop, my mind went back to my earlier posts and I found myself thinking: what if not everyone who chooses to complete their current human journey does so because they believe that they've learned the lessons they came here to learn?  What if some people choose to end their current journey because the lessons they chose to learn this time around were unbelievably difficult for them?   What if those lessons have so completely exhausted them that they decide they need to go someplace and rest before following the lesson to completion?  In fact, in discussing the subject of multiple lifetimes and their lessons with others, I've learned that some people believe and maybe even remember following a lesson through multiple lifetimes so it isn't inconceivable that the more difficult the lesson we set for ourselves, the more likely it is that we will need multiple lifetimes to achieve mastery.

As I'm sure you've already suspected this train of thought was, in part, triggered by my mother but it was also triggered by the concept of suicide overall because it occurs to me that someone who commits suicide is, for some reason, unwilling to wait for their normal demise, be it natural or accidental. It is not unlike reaching the end of any other relationship. You hit a wall and the only viable option left is to get out. Rather than divorcing a person, you, essentially, divorce yourself and your current human persona.  So is it just part of the plan, or life lessons interrupted?  I'll ponder this more in the coming year, I have a feeling.

More gratitudes tonight:
1. I am grateful that I always have enough to handle life's little emergencies.
2. I am grateful for insights found while taking solo walks. (need to do this more often!)
3. I am grateful for cool, brisk days for insightful walks.
4. I am grateful for completing chores so I'll have more playtime.
5. I am grateful for opportunities to expand my mind and learn more lessons.

Love and light.

February 18, 2013 Ch-ch-ch changes

As we visited Chinatown yesterday, Heather and I were discussing the fact that the Chinese year of the Snake signifies a continuation of the changes we have been experiencing for the last year or so, but nothing brings that home to me more strongly than when I hear about people who have left this plane having determined that they finished what they came here for, or that they are not part of the next series of changes.  In the last few days, I've read of the passing of three people who are noteable publicly and one who was noteable to most who met him. 

As I was reading about the fourth one this morning, I found myself remembering the old adage about deaths coming in threes, and if you only count the three who were known publicly for one reason or another, that seems to be true.  But then I find myself thinking, "why three?".  It is also said that when casting spells, it is important to remember that what you send comes back to you "three times three".  So there is the three again.  And again I ask, what is so special about the number three?  Why was it picked as a reference point?  (and as I type this, I realize that I've gone completely off topic of what had me starting this post today!  ADHD is surely ruling my life today!) 

As I search the net for the significance of the number three, I am led off on another tangent as I read my horoscope for today (which I do more for entertainment than because I believe in its accuracy), but today's really hits home so I'm sharing it as I may include it in today's discussion, assuming I don't go off on yet another tangent!

You may consider re-evaluating your career path and making big changes as the Sun journeys through your 10th House of Status during the next four weeks. You have an opportunity to become more aware of your place in the world now. However, you might quickly regret letting this chance slip by, so make up your mind to take action while there's still time. Thankfully, you could see positive results sooner than you think if you can visualize your way to success.

How's that for a thought-provoking concept???  I can't help but give it at least a little of my attention over the next few weeks, regardless of where I'm at in my career!
At any rate, I got a bit bogged down in my search for threes when I came upon a site which looked back into ancient history, referencing trios of Greek Gods, Triads, and the more modern "Holy Trinity".  I remember from mathematics that a tripod is an extremely stable construct.  Does that also hold true for humanity?  And what does that mean for the old adage, two's company, three's a crowd?  Are there some situations where three might not be so stable?  Or is two alone really a single unit looking for two more to make it stable?  As I have not traveled in a couple for a long time, I have no idea whether couples typically travel in twos, threes or forty-sevens for that matter.  But it makes me curious as to what number works best, or, to be fair, if there really is such a number or if it is simply dependent on the parties involved?  

As I switched loads of laundry, I continued pondering the nature of three and it occurred to me that even the kids drift towards it at times.  They include me in a lot of their activities and even invited me to share Valentine's dinner with them (which I politely declined as there are some things I believe they should do by themselves!)  Granted, the three of us usually have a good time together, but is it more than that?  And what happens if/when I find someone of my own?  Further, the girls and I had a three dynamic for years as we were usually together and doing things, just the three of us.  Although that changed when Jenni moved out, and Heather and I did very well developing our two dynamic, she tended, during those years, to have a boy in her life more often than not, even if the current boy was more a learning experience than part of the three.  In fact, her husband is the only one who really fit into the three dynamic almost as if he was born for the position.  Chance or design?  

Now that I've drifted so far from the original topic that I hardly remember what I intended to ponder, it's time to go full circle and revisit that plot line, especially since my ADHD seems to be operating on high today!  Although I overslept again, thanks to my darling Toby, I have still managed to get the car into the shop, get laundry going, straighten up the kitchen (or at least most of the way before I got distracted again), clean out a drawer in my desk while looking for a needle and thread to reattach a button before I did laundry, respond to several FB posts and do some research.  

The original thought, though, was change and people making the transition when their job here is done.  Those who have been following my blog for any length of time will recognize this line of thought as I revisit it somewhat frequently.  It was, in fact, the underlying reason why this blog began as notes on FB in the first place.  Having hit a stall in the writing of my book, I decided to keep writing by just spilling whatever came to mind via blog, and this, my friends, is the rather verbose result.  But the VERY original intent for beginning to write again was to come to terms with my parents' suicides, one in 1993 and the other in 2003.  And NOW, I'm back to the original topic!  Whew!  Kind of brings new meaning to my favorite phrase "in 10,000 words or more", doesn't it?  Small wonder I'm rarely at a loss for words, is it?  If my theory is true, and my mind connects with the Universe when I sit down to write, I truly have an endless source of thoughts, ideas, and yes, words!  (and once again, my train has jumped the track!)  

Reeling myself back in, this is the year of the Snake, and, as such, is a continuation of last year's changes and progressions.  People come and people go.  Wishes are fulfilled and wishes are altered, but above all, progress is made.  The U.S. has elected a President and the choice has made some happy, some ambivalent and others, downright incensed.  Thankfully, in our country, that's still allowed!  Frankly, I, personally, don't really believe that how our country is run is truly part of the overall changes which have been in progress on a Universal level for a few years now.  Certainly, we are impacted by decisions made or not made, but in the overall scheme of things, politics is in the world of the mundane and is little more than a pimple on the butt of the Universal mind.   I believe that the individual arrivals and departures of Spirits having a Human Experience are of far more consequence.  Those who have recently moved on and of whom I am aware each touched many lives, some artistically, some as teachers and some as advocates for others.  I find myself wondering if, as they made the decision to leave, they decided that they had left us with enough tools to carry on, enough inspiration and enough desire to continue what they started? 

Thinking back on when each of my parents left, I know that I didn't feel any of those things, but then, it's more difficult when you're too close to the situation and feeling hurt, bewilderment, anger, confusion and a multitude of other emotions.  But even as I've worked to come to terms with their deaths, accepting the fact that their decisions to be done were right for them, I didn't really stop to think about whether they felt that they'd thought about whether they'd touched the lives they had with sufficient resources to carry on their work.  The fact is, I didn't even consider that they had had specific work which needed to be perpetuated.  Now I ask myself, "why not?".  Why didn't I consider the fact that my parents, like everyone else in this world, both well known and not, has work they came here to do, lives they came here to touch and legacies they came here to leave?  To my knowledge, they didn't touch as many lives as the Jeff Cottons, Debbie Fords and Mindy McCreadys of the world have, but if you figure in the six degrees of separation, who am I to say they didn't?  

As I consider my own family with whom I have had little or no contact since my mother's death, I really have to consider how having my mother in their lives for that brief moment in time impacted who they are and how they interact with others like her.  Did they, like me for so long, become hardened and insensitive to others who faced her challenges, or did they, from the distance they enjoyed, make choices which would ease the paths for others?  If the latter, did they ever make the connection to the source of their humanitarian efforts, or just chalk it up to their own sensitivity?  I find that it doesn't matter, either way, to me.  I am only grateful that the sacrifices she made in the life which, I know now, she chose for herself, will bring positive results for someone else along the way.  

My Dad, on the other hand, leaves me no doubt of his continuing legacy.  I see him in the man my daughter married and in my friend, Ron who both share his sense of humor, his wit, his strength and his loyalty.  I see it when I share memories with my daughter and old friends, and when I, with brutal honesty, look at my own strengths and weaknesses.  He inspired loyalty and longevity in his friendships which is something I'm still aspiring to, and touched more lives than I know.  He just wasn't one to talk about the things he did or the people he helped in an effort to fulfill the plans he made before coming to earth in the form of my Dad.  From him, I also learned, and passed on to my daughter, to be overly responsible for my own actions, or as I like to call it, "responsible to a fault".  Heather picked it up from me and both of us tend to err on the side of taking on too much responsibility for a situation, although that doesn't always flow through to interpersonal relations, I'm afraid.  Too often, we both feel targeted by someone instead of trying to figure out what it is we are doing to attract someone else's negative behaviour.  I'm working on this, with mixed success, but I think Heather has to continue adding to her experiences before she turns that corner.  Luckily, we both have imaginary heart shaped confetti in the meantime!  

Now that I've managed to get my thoughts out, albeit in as convoluted a manner as possible, I need to let things percolate in my brain for awhile and move on to some mindless tasks for awhile.  

My gratitudes today are:

1. I am grateful for my writing skills and connection with Source which allow me to pull my thoughts out and examine them as if under a magnifying glass in order to better understand myself.
2. I am grateful for mindless tasks which allow my brain to continue examining uninterrupted.
3. I am grateful for the ability to jump from topic to topic, eventually returning to the original idea or problem with new insight.
4. I am grateful for my ADHD friends who understand that my though process is anything but linear.
5. I am grateful for imaginary heart shaped confetti when all other attempts to understand or accept fail.

Love and light.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

February 16, 2013 Oops, I did it again!

Today I did something I had promised myself I would not do again!  It must have been a weak moment or the result of spending an entire gorgeous day sitting in front of my computer getting my finances in order so I could do my taxes.  Whatever the excuse, I definitely took a strange turn this time when I joined another dating site.  I haven't done this in years as I was pretty disillusioned by the plethora of men who might not be all that much themselves, but are very specific about the woman they want to meet being "height and weight proportionate".  What the heck does that mean???  (aside from being quite off putting for me, that is).  For all I know, one man's cow is another man's mermaid!  But the price was right (cheap) and I figured that I have nothing to lose, and maybe I won't find anything there, but it will help with my confidence in the real world!  I'm still one of those women who can talk to people just fine until she sees a guy who she could be interested in and suddenly, an intelligent, erudite, confident woman turns into a blustering buffoon!  And I have to admit that tonight, I was quite confident and, well, full of myself, though it might have been a false sense of wonderfulness since it was Saturday night and the ratio of single guys in my age range to woman was about 1000 to 1.  It's a good thing I go there to see my friends and dance and not to find "The One".  If I do happen to find someone, I'll consider it a very happy coincidence, but that is certainly not my reason for being there.  Truthfully, I'd rather find a friend to hang out with on non-dance nights and such because it's a lot less stressful and tons more fun!  If the friendship should one day develop into something more, that's fine, but I really would treasure a friendship more right now.  I used to have a lot of guy friends and I really enjoyed their company.  I've just never been one who makes friends easily with women.

I understand why I am very selective about my women friends, but what baffles me is why, over the years, I've seemed to bring out the worst in women who tend to be insecure or lack confidence in themselves.  It's not like I would EVER disrespect someone else's relationship, and I think I make that quite clear.  And although I consider myself reasonably attractive, I'm certainly no bombshell. 

Thankfully, I've been blessed to have found a cornucopia of strong, intelligent, confident, happy women lately, so I don't typically experience that bone deep hatred I used to.  But I still don't understand why I gave anyone reason to believe that I was a threat!  As it is water under the bridge, I will probably never know and I'm glad that whatever it is finally just steered me towards a better group of women who don't have to play such childish games. 

Anyway, I was talking to one of my dance friends about dating tonight and mentioned that I'd given this site a shot.  She showed me a picture of a guy and said to avoid him like the plague as he'd exposed himself on their first and only date.  I got home from dancing and realized I'd left the site up on my computer.  When I checked it, who should I get my very first message from but the wanker!  This does not bode well for my success with the website!  But in all fairness, I'll give it a chance and if it doesn't show promise, I'll simply delete my profile.  No harm, no foul.  Just keep sending out the open to suggestions vibes to the Universe and see how things fall out.

I'm sitting here now, trying to unwind, but wired as if I've had about 12 cups of coffee.  I guess that's why this blog post has gone on longer than it needed to.  My fingers are babbling as badly as my brain!  But it was a great night of dancing, even if I only got a couple of two steps.  I also got a really fun WCS and did a couples dance or two by myself.  It's all good.  My favorite DJ played some awesome line dance sets and I had to peel my soggy clothes off of my body when I got home.  For the non-dancers out there, that is the sign of a really good dance night!!!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for totally awesome dance nights.
2. I am grateful for my continued success in achieving a bathing suitable body by the cruise next year.
3. I am grateful for completing the input so I can start my taxes this weekend.
4. I am grateful for feeling so wonderful after my little flu and migraine ride last week.
5. I am extremely grateful for the wonderful people I get to see and dance with every week!

Love and light.

February 15, 2013 Floating away

After nearly a week of drinking gallons of water, yet never feeling hydrated but having my sinuses fill up so often that I've been using the neti pot five and six times a day, I understand where all of my bodily fluids are going but am no closer to understanding how one small spot can soak up such incredible quantities of water and leave none for the rest of the machine!  Clearly, this is not one of the examples of how efficient the human body can be.  It's a better example of how our government machine operates, sending most of the resources to one area and chastising the rest of the equipment for not being happy with the meager pittance they've been allocated.  Clearly, greed rears its ugly head in places we cannot even imagine!

But things are improving in my body, unlike with the government, and equilibrium will soon be maintained once again. 

There seems to be a new pattern emerging in which I compare seemingly disparate things to each other and develop what is, to me at least, a meaningful, if slightly absurd, analogy.  But then, "absurd" is a word which has always been easily associated with me and my thought processes.  Although I do eventually get to the same place as other folks do, my route is hardly the most direct, nor does it, in many cases, make much sense to the outside world.  But get there, I do, and I'd like to think that I enjoy the ride a bit more for having taken the road less traveled. 

Which is another theme I seem to keep coming back to.  As I follow my twisting, turning path to wherever it is I'm headed, I tend to make my choices by looking for a road that still has a few ruts left in it, is less clearly marked and perhaps even a bit overgrown.  I tend to want to be the one who discovers something new and exciting underneath that layer of dirt.  I am in search of that lovely, flawed stone or artifact which will inspire me or lead me towards something I might not have considered had I just followed the well worn path on the heels of so many who have come before me.  I'm looking for that "aha moment" which will bring together all of the thoughts and experiences I've had before and suddenly cause it all to make sense. 

But I'm not just looking for that mega supreme aha moment.  I'm looking for all of the little ones.  The pop rocks in your mouth that suddenly explode into a myriad of flavors and make you sit up and take notice.  You may not be able to pick out all of the individual flavors, but the explosion is sufficient to tantalize and inspire. 

And I also find it amusing that I can sit down in front of my computer of an evening, absolutely certain that I have nothing to write about and the next thing I know, I've covered a couple of pages! 

As I've pondered the sudden passing of an old childhood friend who grew up to be not only an amazing musician, but also a composer and more recently, a writer of fiction, I wonder if his creativity, as well as that of so many amazingly talented people who have created art, music and literature for us to enjoy, flowed in a similar manner. 

For me, I find that, oftentimes, I simply need to prime the pump, then stand back and let it run.  Certainly, if I don't sit down at the computer to write at all, nothing will be written.  But if I were to sit down with an idea fully formed, would I block out everything that comes out when I just give my fingers free reign to type whatever comes to them?  Is what is going to be said already stored in a little compartment just waiting for me to open the door and let those thoughts pour out, unimpeded? 

I can actually make a good argument for either one of these since there are nights when I've sat down at the computer and had to almost literally use a crowbar to get the thoughts out onto the screen.  On other nights, I not only can't seem to quite keep up with the thoughts pouring out, but I might write a blog in sections as the thoughts arise so that I have, essentially, three or four entries in one by the end of the day.  And then, I'll sit here and my mind will wander, my fingers will still, and the page will remain blank.  Perhaps at these times, I'm simply trying to overthink the words I want to come out.  This overthinking wars with the free flowing side and the result is a mental paper jam.  One said is saying " just run with it and don't ask questions" and the other side says " but I want it to come out just right!"  Needless to say, the two sides are less than compatible. 

Reading back over what I've written, I can honestly say that this is one of those nights when I'm not entirely sure where the thoughts came from.  Yes, they are, essentially, of me, but the directions they took and the words that were used are just slightly unfamiliar.    Recognizing this, I believe that letting my thoughts take over my fingers and run where they may is a methodology that I'm not going to change in the foreseeable future.  I really enjoy seeing what is going to pour out of my brain (aside from copious amounts of snot!) from one day to the next.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for my free flow of ideas.
2. I am grateful for my quiet Friday mights.
3. I am grateful for abundance and reminders from my daughter that it is evident in all aspects of my life.
4. I am grateful for my abundant health
5. I am grateful for nights when I can sleep in and let my mind and body run wherever they see fit.

Love and light.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

February 13, 2013 Valentine's Eve

Tonight I sit here, sipping my Gypsy Cold Care tea as I eradicate the last vestiges of one of the delightful little flu viruses that are making their way through office, school and home in mad abandon.  Thankfully, my bout wasn't as bad as some thanks to healthier habits I've adopted over the last few years, but I was also not completely spared.  But a couple of days of enforced rest, a great deal of water and copious use of my neti pot have me in reasonably good shape.  This doesn't mean that I will reduce my diligence in consuming fluids, vitamins and antioxidants and keeping everything clear with the neti pot, but I truly believe that I've endured the worst of this little side trip. 

Heather was not spared either, and enjoyed her first experience with a sinus infection which got into her teeth.  Needless to say, she is not anxious to repeat the experience any time soon, and may have finally realized the benefits of the aforementioned neti pot as it did a great deal to relieve her painful symptoms.  Another convert gained!

Much to my delight, I discovered that I have a holiday weekend I wasn't expecting.  Not that I wasn't, at some point, aware of it, but it had slipped, not only my mind, but most of my co-workers' as well.  One thing is for sure, I don't take paid days off for granted, but appreciate them immensely!    I can stay out late on Sunday night, and still be up early enough to play on Monday.  What fun!!!  Now, what to do with my unexpected bounty?

I have been trying to remember the concept of wabi sabi every day, and though I still have a couple of areas which continue to challenge my best intentions, I'm finding that some things are going much more smoothly when I focus on looking for the beauty in the flaws.  Just as I needed constant reminders when I began my journey from negativity to focusing on holding positive thoughts, following the path of wabi sabi requires similar reminders.  And just as some negative thought patterns have been more difficult to break, so, too, am I finding it more difficult to find the beauty in some people's flaws.  This is not to say, however, that I will give up on the more challenging souls.  In fact, I see them as lessons which will strengthen my ability to see beauty wherever I look and to ultimately make my rose colored glasses a permanent vision of the world around me.  

I see it as an emotional/mental version of weight lifting.  If we continue to use the same weights and do the same exercises, there will come a point where we're not really training our muscles any more.  If we just concentrate on those tasks which are easy to accomplish, we won't strengthen our abilities to achieve more.  So finding the beauty in the flaws which are easy or obvious really teaches me nothing more than to appreciate something else.  But clearing away what stands between my vision and the beauty beneath not only flexes the muscles but gives me a much bigger reward when I finally see what I've been overlooking.    Additionally, clearing away my mental resistance towards finding beauty in a certain person's flaws takes me further on my path to being a kinder person, and clears the way to finding that beauty in someone who, for me, is even more challenging. 

At one point, I set myself goals and as I got nearer, I set new ones.  These days, I don't really have to set goals because as soon as I decide that I want to achieve something, the goals I need to accomplish simply become apparent.  As I achieve the first goals towards my intention, new ones emerge, not to keep my intentions out of reach, but to acknowledge my accomplishments and offer rewards for being ready for the next set of lessons and obstacles which will prepare me for what I desire.    The result is that I now look forward to a new set of challenges with childish glee because it means that I've gained a knowledge or skill and am receiving my prize for a job well done and a lesson well learned. 

So I say, bring on the new tasks.  Each new one is a reminder and a reward for all that I have already achieved, and a vote of confidence in my ability to continue up my path to a more Spiritual existence.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for my health and my strength which get better every day.
2. I am grateful for an abundance of love.
3. I am grateful for an abundance of opportunities to learn and grow.
4. I am grateful for a life filled with peace and opportunities for kindness and understanding.
5. I am grateful for my continued Spiritual growth.

Love and light.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

February 10, 2013 Taking a wabi sabi approach to life.

I was reminded today that I had, at one point, found it not only preferable but practical to take a wabi sabi approach to life.  Essentially, that means to embrace and honor life's imperfections and to find the beauty in them.  Although, for the ancient Japanese, this was an aesthetic style, it is used, these days in regard to relationships as well. 

When I first learned of this approach, I took it to mean the people who are important to me, or who I care about.  But in reality, this is an approach which can and should be directed towards everyone with whom we interact, no matter how small the interaction might be..  I'm forced to think about how I interact with some of my co-workers and how I disrespect them, even if only in my own thoughts.  How much better could life be if I give them the opportunity to shine by focusing on the things they are good at and simply look at their weaknesses as a balance for their strengths?  Each and every person has extraordinary qualities, but so often, we get mired in what they are NOT doing rather than seeing the beauty in what they ARE doing.  And, in fact, just because something appears to be a weakness to me, it could be part of what makes them so good at what they do in some way I just don't recognize.  If nothing else, there are times when an innocent viewpoint allows for greater vision because it is unfettered by what came before.  (I believe I just had an "aha moment"!)  This concept opens up all sorts of interesting possibilities I never before considered!  I am very excited about what beautiful imperfections I will be discovering as I continue to open my mind to the possibilities instead of closing it in frustration.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, today's plans were changed as neither Heather or I were really feeling up to a trip to LA to tramp around Chinatown, nor were we really all that hungry so a visit to our favorite dim sum restaurant would have been a waste.  Her aching jaw and my draining sinuses were not a good combination.  She went home to rest and I ran errands, put away the cases of cat food I'd purchased a couple of weeks ago and cleaned out sand boxes.  I figured that as long as I kept moving, I could get things done, and just in case I feel worse tomorrow than I do today, I'd rather have the trash ready to go out.  But all of that sapped my energy and I played vegetable for the rest of the day, much to the delight of several lap kitties. 

I did decide to try the onion trick to see if it's real or just an old wives' tale.  Said onion is resting comfortably in a small dish in my living room and after about 5 hours, is still in its pristine white state.  I'll move it to the bedroom when I retire, in hopes that it will suck all of the germs out of the air allowing me to wake up completely healthy in the morning.  Stay tuned for a report on the results tomorrow night.

I was rather disappointed to discover that, despite excessive exercise yesterday, my weight stayed exactly the same today, but as I also know things fluctuate for no apparent reason, I will give it a couple of days to respond correctly. <grin>

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for abundance in health, wealth, success and opportunities.
2. I am grateful for change which gives me the chance to grow and learn.
3. I am grateful for relaxing days which prepare me for those of high activity and long hours.
4. I am grateful for newly discovered old ideas which recognize that natural is often better.
5. I am grateful for my kitties who kept me company today while I knew I needed to rest but was also twitchy like there was something I needed to do.

Love and light.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

February 9, 2013 Channeling health

I woke up from a dream this morning in which my head was all congested and it was hard to breathe to discover that it was no dream!  I guess all of the sick people I've been around lately think they need to share their germs with me.  I disagree, thankyouverymuch!  So I have begun evasive action.  I flush out all of the crud with the neti pot laced with goldenseal to kill anything it might find up there.  I'm dosing myself with vitamin C and orange juice, keeping the head clear with Claritin, and best of all, sweating it out.  An hour and a quarter on the Wii Fit today went a long ways towards sweating out the nasties, and 3 hours of dancing helped the cause as well.  I still plan to get extra sleep, but will make my temple the most inhospitable place I can for anything which is not healthy and happy. 

.Toby is, of course, more than happy to fulfill the nursing functions he thinks I require.  Of course, this involves sitting in one place, preferably covered with a fleece blanket and petting him endlessly while he paces back and forth across my lap, up my chest and around my face, finally settling down with his head buried in my chest.  I swear, he's like having one of the girls again at the age where they just don't understand that Mommy doesn't feel 100% so she can snuggle and play.

I did manage to get a meditation in, despite Toby's demands, and again focused on serenity and peace.  Breathing in this time, I envisioned complete serenity and breathing out, I envisioned peace in its purest, sweetest form.  And aside from the extremely demanding, toddler sized cat on my lap when I came out of it, the feeling of calmness stayed with me for most of the rest of the day. 

Before I forget, I was down over a pound today, and have only .9 pounds left before I reach my first goal.  It's entirely possible given the amount of exercise vs. food today that I will reach it tomorrow, almost a week early.  Granted, I set a very easy goal for my first two weeks, but if I reach it tomorrow, I'll simply set a more aggressive one for the next two weeks.  The whole idea this time is to not only stay motivated until I reach my ultimate, healthy goal, but to continue to encourage myself with small successes.  Oh, and too be bathing suit ready by the cruise next year!  And if I can encourage someone else with this method and the successes I'm enjoying, all the better! 

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for my wonderful new motivation.
2. I am grateful for my healthy, fit body which is intolerant of unhealthy germs.
3. I am grateful for abundant health, success, opportunities and prosperity.
4. I am grateful for my nurse kitties who encourage extra rest right now.
5. I am grateful for additional energy with which to further my healthy lifestyle.

Love and light.

February 8, 2013 Channeling serenity

After the craziness of the past couple of weeks, it occurred to me that I have had the solution the entire time.  I just couldn't see it through the chaos.  So today, instead of picking something I wanted to improve for my meditation, I simply chose serenity.  I filled my body and mind with pure, sweet, unadulterated serenity.  To my amazement, what followed on the heels of that peaceful, easy feeling was an even stronger one of pure Joy.  Not the crazy, dancing on the tables kind of joy, but a relaxed kind of no hurry, no worry, blissful feeling.  As I floated on the feeling, my mind eye was filled with the image of someone taking a huge handful of heart shaped confetti, right in the kazoo, and that made me smile broadly. 

But the crazy, cranky, troublesome week has come to an end and peace once again reigns.  I received a sharp reminder that letting other people turn my crank is my own choice and if I don't want them to do it, I simply have to choose not to allow it.

I now look forward to sleeping as late as I want to tomorrow, snuggled deep into the comforter, surrounded by my cuddly kitties as the wind howls, the rain pours and I'm snug inside the warm house, riding out the latest storm filled with peace and serenity and the knowledge that everything is working out just as it should.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for a warm, snug house.
2. I am grateful for lessons which repeat themselves until I know them cold.
3. I am grateful for perspective.
4. I am grateful for journeys as they are the true point of it all.
5. I am grateful for continuing to develop and fine tune the me I want to be.

Love and light.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

February 7, 2013 Roller coaster riding again

I got some potentially good news yesterday with regard to my remodel.  I had a co-worker here working on a project for work, but he has an engineering and architectural background.  He took a look at my bearing wall between the kitchen and living room, looked at the plans and told me that it appears that the beam I need to worry about is actually inside the ceiling and only requires the two 4 by 8's I can see and that the rest of the structural parts are in the walls.  He did recommend getting a certified civil engineer in to ensure that this is the case, but the bottom line is that I can have the wall taken out and actually put my kitchen together!  He also told me that the tiles on my floor were more likely vinyl than asbestos but that the engineer could check that out for me as well!  Now to just get all of the ducks in a row. 

Meanwhile, the migraines seem to have slowed down and blood pressure has returned to normal, but I'm still getting things checked out to be certain I don't have any underlying issues which need to be addressed.  That is not to say that the stressful conditions have necessarily abated, but I have once again been reminded that it isn't the stressful conditions that I need to worry about, but the way in which I respond to them, so it's time to pull the imaginary heart shaped confetti out and administer it liberally.  My wonderful daughter did bring me an early Valentine's present of yummy smelling teas and a tea infuser which are supposed to de-stress me.  I will definitely give it a try, and even if it doesn't help the stress level, I'll enjoy the tea just because it will be warm and yummy on the cold evenings coming our way again! 

Dancing was kind of weird tonight.  A lot of folks were missing, some due to illness, and the energy level was near non-existent.  We all said we were going to leave around 9, after the next line dance set, but when that set came, it somehow kicked us out of our doldrums and we all ended up staying until about 10!!!  And as the last thing I ate was around 4, I'm hoping the scale will have good news for me in the morning!  I have a year to get to bathing suit size, but if I'm diligent about my diet and exercise, I may even see that occur in time for at least part of this summer's festivities! 

One thing that is helping is having a quantity of something homemade like vegetable soup or chili on hand so that I don't start eating junk.  And frankly, the longer I go eating healthy foods, no starches and minimal sugar, the better I feel anyway.  It also helps when we all encourage each other to take better care of our "machines".  Each little success really represents another milestone.  Even though I did not manage to keep all of the weight I lost last year off, I was able to keep about 2/3's of it off, and kept myself from going over a certain weight milestone.  Now, I'm well on my way to the next milestone down, and after that, it will just be one step at a time until I reach my goal.  I find that it is easier for me if I break it down into small portions because it gives me more opportunities for a little achievement dance.  If all goes well, I will be doing one  of those in the next couple of weeks.  Even with the Wii Fit I've started using, instead of setting huge goals for long periods of time, I set myself a 2.5 pound goal for 2 weeks.  That gives me something I know I can at least meet if not exceed, and will give me an idea of what to set for the next goal, but I think I'm going to keep it in 2 week chunks as I will have very definite successes every two weeks to keep me motivated and positive.  I have learned that more than that and I get bored and lose interest.  I do better when the carrot is just barely out of reach. 

In spite of Super Bowl Sunday, I have managed to drop almost 3 pounds in the last month.  While that doesn't seem like much to most people, to me, that is 3 pounds closer to my goal and that is awesome!  I think that I will start reporting progress here as well, and welcome anyone who wants to share their evolution to a more healthy lifestyle!

I'm ready for some sweeping changes in my life this year.  I hit a big lull over the last few months, but I think that it was a good thing as I stepped back to regroup and to stop trying to force things to go in any particular direction.  I am working on doing more allowing for the foreseeable future.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for diversions which help me redirect my thoughts to positive avenues.
2. I am grateful for my daughter who teaches me more by example every day.
3. I am grateful for times of low energy as they make me appreciate and take advantage of the high energy times.
4. I am grateful for my friends and their joyous senses of humor who can pull me out of the doldrums when I need it.
5. I am grateful for all of the motivating factors in my life which help me to accomplish anything I set my mind to.

Love and light.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

February 5, 2013 What we have the potential to become

When I was a child, there was a house on our street which was owned by a woman we unkindly referred to as "old lady Gordon".  She was an older woman who lived alone and yelled at us over such things as noisy roller skates going past her house, or numerous pranks we enjoyed at her expense.  As children, we were unable to understand why anyone could be so cranky.  But since the advent of my newest neighbors and their idiot dog, I'm beginning to understand.  At first, it was just incessant barking all night long, but it has since escalated to said dog escaping and chasing the mail carrier which resulted in MY mail being stopped temporarily, and MY having to write a letter and deliver it to the post office denying ownership or responsibility of said rat sized creature.  To make matters worse, the police no longer respond to barking dog calls and animal control is not open at night. 

It further frosts my pumpkins that the city goes out of its way to annoy me over trifles around my house which, of course, end up costing me several hundred dollars to remedy to avoid facing fines.  (not to mention requiring numerous phone calls before the city official finally gets off his rump to acknowledge that the remedy has been made and that he can now push a few more papers to remove the fine!) but can't seem to return the favor by resolving issues around my house. 

I never wanted to be that cranky neighbor everyone hated, but between the city's self-serving priorities and my neighbors' lack of consideration, Miss Cranky Pants has entered the building.  Even worse, when I finally bundled up and stomped out my front door in high dudgeon to confront the neighbors myself, the mutt was miraculously quiet and probably tucked inside for the night.

The best course of action is to find a way to resolve this peacefully, but that is going to require a huge amount of throttling back before I can approach the neighbors without wanting to simply hurl abuse and question the parentage of both their children and their pets (assuming they can be easily differentiated) so until that inner peace can be achieved, it's probably just as well that the rat dog shuts its trap when I draw near.  And really, the thing isn't even a real dog!  Even Munchkin, who weighs in at a whopping 7 pounds is bigger than that yappy little mop.

So my task for this week is to regain my inner peace so I can reach a point where I either politely ask the neighbors to stow their mutt or I can find a way to allow it to cease to be an irritant to me. 

Above all, I do not ever want to turn into the "Old Lady Gordon" of this neighborhood!  Although children in their innocence can be very cruel, and I'm sure there was some valid reason why our noises and pranks upset her, I'd much rather be playing with the kids than chastising them.  And really, isn't it easier to teach them to be considerate by showing them some?  (but I do wonder if my kids had an "old lady Gordon" when they were growing up)  Is there a cranky neighbor in everyone's childhood?  And if so, as parents, we might teach our kids a better lesson by trying to learn a little about the person, and by showing them some kindness instead of allowing our kids to torment them. 

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I'm learning perspective and can appreciate that we all have our story which colors how we perceive the world.
2. I am grateful for days I can work from home.
3. I am grateful for an abundance of love, health, happiness and success.
4. I am grateful for the bonds I have with friends and family, both old and new.
5. I am grateful for resolving problems, finding solutions and making things better.

Love and light.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

February 2, 2013 Sugar migraines suck!

In the past four days, I've had four migraines with the one last night being, by far, the worst yet!  As I haven't had a migraine, up to this point, in ages, and since I just had my neck adjusted a week ago, this is no small matter to me!  The only common factor on the days I experienced the migraines seems to be sugar.  I ate some marshmallows on Tuesday and Wednesday and 4 small pieces of chocolate last night after a dinner of salmon and veggies.  Last night's experience was so intense that it drove me to do something I just never do, and that was to take some of the pain pills the doctor gave me for my knee.  Thankfully, they finally took enough of the edge off of the pain to allow me to sleep it off, but they could have worked a lot speedier than they did, if you ask me!!!  I truly believe that the migraine was fighting back against the pain pills! 

By the time I gave in to the drugs, I had tried all of the usual methods:  relaxation, ice, keeping my eyes closed...none of it worked this time.  Not only that, the last three migraines did not start with vision loss, so this was clearly one of the other four kinds I am susceptible to, but rarely have to suffer. 

I decided to do some research on the internet for migraine induced headaches but was not wildly successful.  Either the links were chronicles of someone else's pain without any real explanation, or it was some drug company trying to peddle its wares.  The nearest I could glean from the paltry amount of information I found was that it could be an early warning sign of diabetes.  That, alone, is enough to have me cleaning out my cupboards of any and all refined sugars!  On top of that, I was up a pound today which really doesn't make me happy with myself, on the one hand, and inspires me to be more careful about what I eat and get up and move more on the other.  There WILL be a bathing suit in my suitcase next February, and I WILL look absolutely amazing in it!  This is not open for debate! 

I am left with a niggling curiosity about others who suffer from diabetes and how they were forewarned at its onset.  For me, 3 major migraines in a week is more than enough to convince me to stay with the healthy diet and ditch the sugar for good!  I am not a fan of pain and I really take issue with something that prevents me from enjoying life and doing the things I want to do.  Needless to say, my Wii Fit experience did not happen last night or the scale would surely have told a different story. 

This story does have a happy ending, however.  I've learned a valuable lesson and the solution, giving up sugar and getting more exercise, will only make me healthier, more fit and more energetic, so it really is a win-win situation, at least it is, once the pain went away!  Granted, I needed four increasingly painful headslaps to get the idea, but I've got it now, trust me!  My typical migraine hurts on one side of my head so there is a comfortable position in which to find the blessed relief of sleep.  The one last night encompassed my entire skull and neck and was quite happy to follow me around to wherever I thought I could lay my head to sleep!  I am just grateful that it didn't see the light of day!  I have chores to do and errands to run and it is the weekend so there's no work!  Ruining a weekend with pain is just not done!!!

Today begins yet another new phase in my changing life.  Sugar is banned along with gluten, and daily exercise, even if it's just ten minutes on the Wii, is the rule!  This body of mine still has a great deal to do, many places to go and lots of people to meet so it needs to be healthy and strong to carry me through all of the adventures yet to come!

My gratitudes are:
1. I am grateful for reminders to stay on my healthy track, even when they're extremely painful (as hard headed as I can be, sometimes pain is the only way to get my full attention!)
2. I am grateful for a strong, healthy, resilient body to carry me to new adventures.
3. I am grateful for my nurse kitties who stuck with me all night long, through the pain and my restlessness.
4. I am grateful for activities which will keep me active today.
5. I am grateful for an abundance of joy, health, opportunities, success and prosperity.

Love and light.