As I continue to work through my reaction to Wednesday's exchange I'm finding new parts of myself to work on and improve. I realize that part of my adverse reaction lies in the fact that I am confusing admiration of someone's skills with something in myself that still believes I need to emulate what I admire. Nothing could be further from the truth! What is easiest to admire in another person is how comfortable they are in their own skin, and to be comfortable in your own skin, you must find and live your own style. So for me to emulate someone I admire will always be an effort in futility as I try to be someone besides myself! I have my own strengths as well as limitations which cause me to be better at some things and not as good at others compared with the people I admire. And how many times did I encourage my daughters to be the "best you you can be". I seem to have left myself out of that sage piece of advice!
With my dancing, I know that I have to allow for the fact that I have difficulty moving fluidly as I am, by nature, somewhat on the stiff side. I do try to work on this, but so far, I'm still more stiff than not. Granted, I've improved greatly since I became aware, but I'm a long way from the folks who seem to have a boneless quality to their movements as they bend and sway like waves lapping the shore. My knees, too, have been abused for many years and do not have the strength and flexibility others enjoy. I continue to do weight work to help counteract the damage, but I can't deny that it limits my movements and how I execute turns.
So I do make note of the concepts, the basics, if you will, and do my best to execute them in as technically correct a manner as possible, but I won't beat myself up for my imperfections. In fact, I need to use those imperfections to create my own style. As that is still evolving, I have no idea where it will lead, but I do know that it will ultimately, wonderfully, amazingly be unique to me, and not an emulation of someone else who causes me to smile when I watch them execute the style which is uniquely, wonderfully, amazingly theirs!
And so, once again, I am reminded to embrace all of the uniqueness the Universe has to offer as both a participant and an observer!
Love and light.
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