Why did I leave the party so close to midnight, you ask? The answer to that is both simple and complicated.
1. I had been there for over 5 hours, danced quite a bit and was getting tired.
2. I didn't want to drive too tired on a heavy drinking night (other people, not me)
3. The music they were playing was geared more for the younger crowd who'd come in later, and I didn't really feel like dancing to it.
4. I didn't have any reason to stay and watch all of the couples hug and kiss when my cats were waiting at home for me.
And, number 5...................................
Yes, folks, I'm a closet Manilow fan, and have been since my teens. But this song takes me back as well as taking me forward.
After all is said and done, it's just another New Year's Eve, and I'll be just fine. In fact, I'll be better than fine! This is the year I will start realizing a dream I've had almost since I learned to read (and I was reading at the tender age of 4!).
The first draft of my first novel is over 80% complete and I'm already planning at least two sequels.
I have work to sustain me while I write without cutting into my writing time.
My kids are starting to build their own dreams, maybe a little different than what they had been planning, but they're walking the road together, in love and supporting each other. It's all good.
I'm having my own, private Barry Manilow concert as I type and am sharing my space with cats who love me, no matter what I look like, smell like or feel like. I've learned that I can dream big and that if I take that first step, the rest will come together.
This year, I gained perspective. I gained courage. I gained another support group. I am letting go of the idea that I have to be alone, and can safely open my heart to other possibilities. Although this one is still going to take some work, in time, I know that I will clear space in my world for someone who walks a similar spiritual path, doesn't take himself too seriously, has a great sense of humor and a mind which can challenge and inspire me to be better than I imagined alone.
My dreams and premonitions are going in some interesting directions, too. A month or two ago, I had a dream about a dance friend in which he brought a woman nobody had ever met to the club and introduced her as his fiancee. This is a man who always comes alone and leaves alone (kind of like a male version of me!). I told him about the dream and we laughed. But tonight, he showed up late for the New Year's Eve party, dressed in a sports coat and slacks, with a date!!! As New Year's Eve is typically special, I have to assume that this was not a first date, and that the lady means more to him than a casual date. She didn't know many of the line dances or couples dances, so he danced while she watched, except for some two steps. So it pretty much fits into my dream so far, except for the actual ring. It will be interesting to see if it goes where my dream took it. If so, I'm really happy for him as he's a very nice guy, but I'll miss dancing with him.
And so, I'm in the mood for some Barry Manilow tonight.
Happy New Year, everyone. May the manifestation of your dreams exceed your expectations this year!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends.
2. I am grateful for dreams.
3. I am grateful for lessons.
4. I am grateful for abundance.
5. I am grateful for music which feeds my soul and moves my feet.
Love and light.