As tonight's title implies, I am, once again, making changes. Last week's flu that sucked all of the energy from my body gave me lots of time to think, since getting up and moving around had to be taken in very small doses. Though the flu has mostly passed on to a more deserving soul, my mind continues to spin in ever widening circles, making it difficult, but still possible, to contain my thoughts. Just don't expect them to be in neat packages, because I fear I'm incapable of getting the ribbons tied before a bit or two has made its escape.
For the last month or so, I've followed a pattern which included, essentially, me shutting down for lunch and meditation, every day between about noon and two, give or take an hour. While it ensured that I did my daily meditation, I see, in hindsight (20/20 as always) that it pretty much put a halt to that which is most important to me right now: my writing and all things related to it.
Post flu, I suddenly found myself putting in a solid hour or two, just on editing my book. Another hour or two was spent reading publications about writing or researching something which might be useful later. Still to come is another hour or two spent working on the copywriting course I put aside while trying to decide whether it was a direction I truly wanted to pursue.
Now that I have reaffirmed my desire to write and maybe even get paid to do what I love (how perfect is that?), I am in a better position to put the time and effort into learning how to make it work.
But how does this apply to the topic at hand, you ask? It's really quite simple. As I reaffirm my commitment to my writing, I realize that the routine I'd established had become more of an excuse to avoid writing and studying, and so, a rut. Changing the formula for my days meant that, suddenly things like eating lunch and meditating were delayed by several hours, often not coming into play until at least 3PM, and sometimes even later if I got into a particularly good run on whatever I happened to be working on. (The other day, I spent two hours editing a single chapter, but it was just writing itself, and I even had to jot down some notes on things I wanted to include, but couldn't work into the chapter I was on! The end result was an additional 1700 words added to a single chapter! )
The last couple of weeks has really shaken up my routine, anyway. Two weeks ago, my daughter drove up on Tuesday night so she could make my birthday cake and otherwise give me another amazing birthday. Spending time with her had me eschewing my regular gym visits (with absolutely no remorse, I might add) and I have to admit that by the time she left, I was trying to deny the early signs that the aforementioned flu was coming. I even decided to skip dancing on Saturday night, but had my decision overturned when I received texts from two of my wonderful girlfriends, first, inquiring about my whereabouts, then insisting that staying home alone was not an option.
Though I had an amazing time with my friends, by Sunday morning, the energy drain was more apparent, and nothing short of a bare cupboard forced me out to Trader Joe's on Tuesday. That trip wiped me out for the rest of the day! To make a long story short, I spent a lot of time thinking and meditating, no time at the gym and put zero effort into my writing career. But boy, did it fill up my brain!
Like Girlfriends, Ignoring Your Guides, Long Term, is Never an Option!I was able (with the help of my Guides, who, I believe, had a hand in knocking me flat just for this purpose) to take a good, hard look at what I've been doing, and to recognize that it wasn't getting me where I wanted to go. In short, it was time to make some changes.
I've started doing my editing earlier in the day and have added several writing related items to my weekly To Do list. But even better is the phenomenon which is filling my brain with blog topics and sending my thoughts racing ahead while I'm editing my book.
My Creativity is back with a Vengeance!
When I lost focus and strayed from my true path, my creativity deserted me almost completely. Sure, I kept blogging every day, except for a couple of days while I was sick. But I'll bet if I re-read those posts, I will find a startling absence of my normal wit, zaniness and ADHD run amok. In short, I think I got a little boring!
If there is one thing I'm learning since I embarked on this new and slightly terrifying journey late last year, it's that I am constantly changing and adjusting how I proceed. What works for a month or two is not necessarily going to work after that month or two. It is imperative that I look at what is and isn't working, and be ready to try something new when the tried and true has become a non-productive rut.
Creativity is a fickle mistress. It thrives on chaos and diversion and scenery which is constantly changing. It drowns in routine and sameness, withdrawing into its cave until properly stimulated once again.
Though this rather drastic reminder to feed my creativity came after what seems like a long, dry period, I know in my heart that it came at exactly the right time. I had to have the long, dry period to drive home the point that my life would be a dry, empty wasteland if I didn't honor, nay, pay homage to the very muse which can, if properly fed, give me everything I want, need and imagine.
I hereby solemnly swear to always honor my muse and to give her all of the variety she claims as her due.
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the blatant reminders I've received over the last couple of weeks.
2. I am grateful for change which keeps life new and exciting.
3. I am grateful for the company of my cats who are, at times, the only ones I might speak to or interact with for days.
4. I am grateful for the incredible flow of ideas I've enjoyed for the last few days, and hope I have learned to never take them for granted again.
5. I am grateful for diversions like dancing and friends to help keep me from falling into the depths of ennui.
Love and light.