February 14, 2014 Overreacting: The Giver and the Receiver

I was having a conversation yesterday with someone who seemed to take what I was saying in completely the wrong tone, responding in what was, from my perspective, unjustified anger.  This led me to think about the times that other people might have though I was overreacting.  (That face in the mirror ain't always pretty, folks!)

The conclusion I came to was this:  We will never (at least until telepathy becomes common) know what goes on in each others' heads.  We don't really know what kind of day someone has had, or what is going on in their life at any particular moment, or what their "hot buttons" might be.  And here's the real eye opener.   It is just as true for a perfect stranger as for those we think we know best.

Interestingly, this is also the first year that I've done absolutely nothing for my kids for Valentine's Day.  I had a couple of opportunities, but kept putting it off until, today, I am being a hermit, and have no desire to go out and see the cheerful little hearts draped across the store's depleted shelves.  But I've given myself permission to be a hermit today, so it's all good!

It seems that my hermitting was not to be allowed entirely.  My daughter showed up in the afternoon with a yummy Edible Arrangements with pineapple hearts and chocolate covered strawberries, and my son-in-law called to ask if I needed anything from the market on the base.  Had a nice chat with my daughter over some of those strawberries, but still got most of a day of hermitting and not getting a single thing done!  (Won't happen again for awhile, but it was a nice break between normal tasks and the beginning of my editing process!)

At any rate, whether we are the giver or the receiver in the overreacting process, it's important to take a step or three back and avoid turning a slow burn into a forest fire sized conflagration, and to give both ourselves and the other party the benefit of the doubt that it might not have been the smoothest of days or even weeks.

That's the funny thing about stress.  We hold it in and build it up for long periods of time.   Then, it takes the smallest thing to make the dam burst, and woe be to whoever might be in the path of the flood!

Since I've shifted to a simpler lifestyle, I've noticed that my stress level has decreased significantly, and is most apparent when I wash or brush my hair and find a lot less strands in the bottom of the shower or caught in my brush.  Even the loads of uncertainty I've acquired by leaving a job with a steady pay check is not enough to stress me out any more.  I have faith that the means will make themselves known when I need them.  Which is not to say that I haven't put out some feelers for new business.  It is just that I'm not going to get myself all wound up worrying about something which I am certain will be there when I need it.

Maybe that's why I find it easier now to just step back and observe rather than to fuel the fires as I might have in the past.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all down shift a bit and get our stress levels to an acceptable level?  We'd sure see a lot less mistreatment of service people like store clerks and wait staff!  Drivers would be more courteous and police officers would have a lot less to do!

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I sure could get into a dream like that!  How about you?

Do I think it would eliminate overreacting completely?  Probably not.  We humans are emotional creatures, and regardless of how much our stress levels might be reduced, there are still days when everything we pick up, we drop.  Every wall in the house seems like it's out to get us, and we just can't seem to get things right.  Those are the days when our emotions may as well be on the outside of our bodies, sensitive to every little shift in the air, and every person who inadvertently brushes by us. 

All I know for sure is that doing our best to be kinder to everyone around us can't help but make the world a better place.  Isn't it RAK week or month or something right now?  RAK is like Christmas Cheer, to me.  It's not something that has a special season.  It's something which belongs in our lives all year long. 

So now that I've taken a topic and gone full circle, I'll leave you with tonight's gratitudes.

1. I am grateful for a daughter who is a walking ad for RAK.
2. I am grateful for a quiet day spent cuddling my cats and doing mostly nothing.
3. I am grateful for a reduction in my stress levels.
4. I am grateful for the abundance and balance in my life.
5. I am grateful for the effort I have and will put into the first of many published works by this up and coming author.

Love and light.