October 23, 2013 Itchy, twitchy and out of sorts

I woke up this morning to a foggy, overcast day and a feeling that I needed to stay away from people.  As I'd chosen to ignore my good sense and done my Monday night trash duty shoe-less, I was rewarded with a painfully swollen bruise on my left heel, courtesy of a small rock between the paved driveway and my trash cans.  As icing and elevation seemed to relieve some of the symptoms last night, I decided to continue the therapy and work from home.

Thankfully, the cats found it necessary to stay close most of the time (though, at the moment, I'm actually alone), but the further into the day I get, the more jumpy and twitchy I become.

I decided to do a past-present-future tarot spread with the question of my plans for the next month or two in the forefront of my mind.  The cards I pulled, at first glance, were significant, but not compellingly so...until I started doing some research.  Here they are, in the order they appeared:

The first card I pulled was the Five of Cups indicating that an emotional attachment to multiple things has been, or is in the process of, being subject to upheaval.  In the end, only two, which are clearly near and dear to my heart, will remain undamaged, and perhaps, stronger for the culling of the rest.   Those remaining are blessed by Divine Light and are part of my true path.  I am experiencing a certain amount of inner turmoil with regard to those things I will, ultimately release.

The second card I pulled was the Star:   This is a card of hope and beauty, and one where all things thrive under divine light.  The archetype of the great blue heron seen in this card is of self-reliance, of making one's own way, and of living in unconventional fashions.  A person with a heron-like archetype might make their living in an unconventional way, doing a bunch of odd jobs instead of working for a single employer.  Borrowing from speakerfortheanimals.blogspot.com:

"Since as fishers of these waters our attention is constantly drawn back to the treasures of the Unconscious, we tend to lose interest in the matters other humans focus upon. We are not the most stable workers, or attentive spouses, or normal neighbors. We tend to be more than a little eccentric, preoccupied, inwardly turned people. We’re dreamers, liars, creating things out of our discoveries, imagining new things to be and do. We’re deeply engaged with exploring our naturalness, learning to know our bodies, or exploring Divine Nature. We’re unconventional, hearing our own inner drummer. We don’t worry about ‘keeping up with the Jones’s, doing what others do, believing what others believe, valuing what others value. If there is a weakness, it is that Heron works too hard at its fishing because he is a superb ‘stalker.’ He spends long hours standing and watching for a movement in the water, and needs sometimes to ‘loosen up’ and spend more time playing, courting lady herons or just snoozing in the Sun."

I find this sums up a great deal of my current restlessness, as I know I'm feeling dreadfully constrained by what society might term "honoring my responsibilities".

The water lilies, or lotuses at her feet are a symbol of hope and of purity and innocence. as well as fertility, rebirth and wellness.  All of these resonate with my desire to write more and, ultimately have my work published.   I also found, while researching the card's symbolism that some cultures believe that the lotus was once a star, thus connecting heaven and earth with the star in the heavens and the star which has come to reside on Earth.

The last card I pulled was the Hierophant, the fifth card in the Major Arcana:

 This card symbolizes the connection between our earthly selves and the Divine.  It also symbolizes peace and harmony.  I also see it as a card which promises a mentor to aid me in the transitions I will be making with my life over the next month or two.    It is especially significant in the Future position as it indicates a strong pull towards someone with great wisdom who will give me guidance. 

The card contains the symbol for the astrological sign, Virgo, which is my Moon sign and which is ruled by Mercury, as is my sun sign, Gemini.

Also of significance, here, is that both my past and future cards carry the number 5.  

The number 5 is the symbol of Mercury (funny how that works, eh?) which is also characteristic of both the Hierophant and the astrological sign this card contains.

The number 5 is balance, a blend of the numbers for male and female and a balance between heaven and earth (or Earth and the Divine).  

Sitting here, analyzing the cards, researching the meaning of the symbolism contained therein and noting the connections between the cards I pulled, I am starting to feel less anxious.  It appears that what I've been told in the last few days is pretty much spot on.  There is a certain amount of turmoil which is building in my life right now, and if I don't take action myself to discard what is no longer needed, the choice will be taken from me and those things will be discarded for me.  The best option I have is to be proactive, start putting things in place for what I know is coming, and jump in with both feet, knowing that I am definitely on the right path, provided I am true to myself. 

I won't be completely alone in this new endeavor as there are guides and teachers along the way.  My job will be to open myself to what they have to offer, becoming the proverbial sponge and absorbing as much as I can from each person who is provided to me, in whatever capacity that might be.

I don't know if it was the process of researching the symbolism on the cards or just getting a reality check on where I'm going and what I'm doing which has settled me down, not completely, but so that I'm not ready to jump out of my skin any more.  Maybe now, the cats will rejoin me.  I think my edginess was starting to make their whiskers twitch and they needed to get away from the energy bombs I started, unconsciously, throwing about. 

I am looking forward, with almost equal parts elation and trepidation, with the coming cycle which will involve throwing off the old and embracing the new. 

I did say I liked E ticket rides! :)

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for the wealth of information which is at my disposal.
2. I am grateful for the tools I have which allow me to sift through the information overload to reach the gem buried deeply within.
3. I am grateful for my friends and family who encourage me, even if they don't realize they're doing so.
4. I am grateful for continued inspiration and motivation to just write.
5. I am grateful for the calming energy I'm receiving from my cats as I would be spinning out of control by now without it.

Love and life.