Tonight I signed the contract for my remodel and wrote the second check (the first was for the blueprints) which will allow my contractor to buy materials and start tearing my house down, to build it back up into my dream house! My emotions are very mixed right now because I'm getting what I want, but to do so is going to create massive upheaval for a few months. I know the end result will be worth the turmoil, but it doesn't entirely abate the nervousness I'm now feeling.
While typing this entry, I'm listening to the Big Fat Lies Summit which is hosted by Amy Aylers. As usual with these online summits, there are speakers from whom I am drawing some interesting and useful information, and others who really rather annoy me. It's like anything else I read or study, in that regard. No matter what, I will always take away a gem or two.
Tonight was also two step night, and Joe, once again, drilled us on technique which I, for one, really enjoy. Unfortunately, today's heat caused the number of attendees to be low, and the number of women, even lower. I was having a wonderful time until I got hit with a dizzy spell in the middle of the beginner lesson, so I went to sit down and drink some water. The dizziness ultimately abated, but the resulting attention wasn't entirely unpleasant. One of the men who happens to also be a neighbor hung around me until I felt better, and even brought me a rose from his garden! How utterly sweet!!! (I'm such a sucker for romantic or just overall kind gestures!)
Meanwhile, my nemesis spent the evening sitting at what used to be my usual table doing balloon art instead of dancing, while I got my dance on with several of the guys, and just had a wonderful time! Then HE apologized to ME saying that he didn't mean to avoid me, etc. etc. Too funny when I purposely sat in a completely different place and had even parked my car in an unusual place (although I ended up confusing myself as I momentarily forgot where I'd parked it when I finished dancing!) Again I had a conversation running through my head which never actually occurred. Instead, he assured me that he would be there tomorrow. So I decided, as I drove home, that I would take the position that I've misread the signs and that he is completely oblivious to what is going on with me. Meanwhile, I found that I was happier and could very easily laugh and joke with the other guys, dance with them and just enjoy my life as it is in this very moment, and the rest will take care of itself. (despite the fact that the pit of my stomach knew he'd be there tonight, although he missed last week)
(all this as I'm listening to the summit where the speaker is saying that if you set your happiness first, your income will increase simply because you are happy and projecting that happiness and drawing people to you.)
The bottom line, at this point, is that I am happy knowing that I'm doing what I want to do, being where I want to be and attracting people who have found their own happiness, knowing that it comes from within rather than in seeking someone to "make" them happy. And the first line of an old song comes into my head "Happiness runs in a circular motion..." It truly does have no beginning and no end, but is simply a continuous, unbroken circle.
Love, light and happiness to all.
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