Tonight I am very grateful that tomorrow is the end of a very trying work week. I am even more grateful for an amazing night of dancing (five hours worth, in fact, though not all of it actually spent on the dance floor! My stamina is increasing, but not THAT much yet!) which sent my endorphins into overdrive and in so doing, drove away all of the nastiness that, for a little while there, was threatening to overwhelm me in spite of a very nice meditation this afternoon! I also got the ball rolling on my remodel, signing the contract and writing a check, so there's no going back now!
My nemesis again showed up around 9:30 or so but for once, I did not get the first two step, nor the second as it happened. It's interesting how, lately, he tries to keep his distance for awhile, then wanders back over to where I'm sitting, chats, dances, then wanders off again for awhile. I'm starting to get the feeling that he's seriously confused. Meanwhile, imagined conversations continue to weave themselves through my brain, while I know full well that such conversations will not actually take place.
And another item for the gratitude list is that last night I had no trouble falling asleep, nor sleeping until the alarm went off. In talking to some friends tonight, it may well have been the full moon that was disrupting me, and could also have been the cause of last night's temporary dizziness.
As I was thinking about how unsettled I've been lately, I noticed a different kind of energy seemed to be overtaking the dance floor tonight, it was frantic, almost frenzied in nature, as if people were trying hard to catch something which continued to elude them. And as the people around me became more manic, I found myself dancing in a little bubble of calm, somewhat cut off from the people around me. When I would come out of the bubble for a moment, inadvertently, I found myself stumbling and even forgetting the dance steps. It was as if some portion of the energy was discordant to me when we touched each other, but we were able to coexist as long as we maintained a certain separation.
Two stepping and the couples dances I did were delightful tonight and maybe part of Nemesis' confusion lies in the fact that he seems to enjoy pulling me close, then realizes that he really shouldn't be doing that with someone who isn't his wife, so he runs away for awhile, but just can't seem to stay away. Weird, but I really shouldn't overthink it. I enjoy the dancing, and am willing to stay later on Thursdays to get those opportunities. That's it, plain and simple, but I continue asking the Universe for someone who I can practice with regularly, who will show up earlier in the evening like I do, and will be available on weekends because they are not otherwise committed. I know that as I keep dancing more nights, it's only a matter of time before the perfect partner enters my awareness. And I am very grateful for my new dance partner!
Love and light
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