April 18, 2011

Tax day for some.  I'm glad mine are done and gone.

Card of the Day:  Three of cups. (As I turned over this card, a smile lit up my face.  this is truly a card of celebration)
I see:  Three women standing in a pumpkin patch, arms linked and chalices raised.  They celebrate a bountiful harvest for which they are equally responsible.  Their gowns reflect the oranges, reds and yellows of their harvest.
I feel:  Bountiful joy and a feeling of shared success.  Combined efforts have yielded tremendous results which could not have been achieved had each worked independently.
I think:  Although we may feel that we work alone, everything we do, everything we touch is impacted by someone else, and can either be made better or worse, depending on how the others perceive the tasks at hand.  Community brings a lot to the table when combined efforts are needed to accomplish a larger task.


Although this is a joyful card, and brought out that reaction in me, I don't seem to find a lot to say about it.  Maybe my mind is just a bit sluggish this morning, despite being up for awhile.  This morning is rather overcast, and might be the cause.  I tend to function better when I wake up to a sunny day, even though, like most days, I want that five more minutes to curl up under the covers with my cats.

My mornings have changed a lot lately.  On the mornings when Heather has an 8 o'clock class, we usually actually have a few minutes to exchange a few words, share what our day entails and such.  It used to be that I'd get up and get ready, she'd sleep until the very last moment, then rush off to class.  And, admittedly, I'd sleep until the last moment too.  This morning writing is benefiting me in ways I'd have never imagined!  I truly appreciate my morning exchanges with my daughter.

Driving to work today, a dream I had last night/this morning was still thrumming through my brain which usually indicates that there's some significance, so I figured I'd better get it down as best I could.
The dream started with me living in a large house with some other women.  A man was stalking one of the women with the intention of killing her so we set a trap and caught him instead.  Upon being caught, he wanted to know how we'd managed to hide her, and someone said that all of the rooms in the house were very large and that the one we were in was one of the smallest.  (I'm not sure of the significance here, but as the comment is sticking in my brain, the only way I see to get it out is to write it down!)
In the second part of the dream, I was taking a dance lesson.  The lesson seemed to be some kind of couples' dance, and did not involve changing partners.  I was taking the lesson with a man who, in the beginning kept clutching the back of my coral colored blouse.  I finally told him that my shirt was not a handle and that he was throwing me off balance.  He then started leading correctly.  But a couple of things stand out from this dream.  The first is that one of the moves they were teaching us would not, as far as I can see, be possible to do as a couple as it involved putting one toe behind you and doing a 180, but as a couple so the woman started in the front and ended in the front.  I could see doing it and reversing positions, but not as it was being taught in the dream.  We were struggling with the move when they called a break.  I was about to ask one of the instructors for assistance when my partner suddenly realized that I was not the woman he'd spoken to the night before and decided he needed to leave.  I asked him how he could have confused us since she was taller than me, almost his height.  I also asked how he'd confused us if he'd been dancing with her and he said she'd refused to dance with him.  I then pointed out that she was almost eye to eye with him when they were talking.  He had no answer to that except to look embarrassed, and then he left although he did look kind of apologetic.  At this point the alarm was going off and the cats were demanding attention but it's odd that something like this would just stick with me, hours later.  I may be making something out of nothing, but have learned to pay attention when details of a dream won't go away.  Maybe now that I've written it down, the moment will pass. :)

So, I spent the evening at a dance class.  Maybe that's why dancing was part of my dream.  Who knows?  I got there early and there were only a few people there, mostly guys.  The place was dark, there was nobody at the door.  The only people there were Jen, the bartender, Trish, the waitress and Joan, the bookkeeper (also an amazing dancer!  If I could only move as fluidly as she does!)  There wasn't any music playing so the guys were standing in groups, talking.  I walked up to one group and told they reminded me of a high school dance where the boys stood on one side, the girls on the other, and the girls finally just started dancing with each other (which would have been tough as there were maybe 3 of us at that moment).  Needless to say, I got more dancing in than normal for me on a WCS night, as I started earlier!  Also got a Nightclub 2-step in that was a blast, if a bit fast.

I'm sitting here munching on a late night snack of apple, brie and gluten free crackers and letting my mind wander.  The trouble is, I let it wander too far and forgot what I was going to say!  Oh, yes, there's that silly thought!  Sedona.  I'm very close now.  I actually put together an itinerary on Expedia with flights and a rental car.  The only thing left to do is press the "book it" button and give them my credit card number!  All of my cheerleaders are saying "just do it!".  Heather has even offered to drive me to and from the airport. All of the signs I'm getting from the Universe say "go".  I know I'm using Dylan as an excuse but something I can't identify is still holding me back.  But I have to book no later than this Friday or the fares will get ridiculous.  I don't know if it's just the thought of committing myself to a weekend of solitude and writing (the hotel I'm staying at doesn't even have internet!)  or if I'm afraid I'm not ready to begin.  I just don't know.  I do know that I'll miss the kitties terribly, but it's only for a couple of days.  Could it be that my last experience with AZ is still giving me grief in some way?  I'm not going anywhere near where I'd been back then, other than the layovers in Sky Harbor, and the likelihood I'd run into anyone from that time in the airport is virtually nonexistent, especially since I just don't attract the same kind of people any more.    So, the question remains, what is holding me back???  I'm just going to have to do some serious meditating on the subject to get to the root of my problem, and then move on!  The question is, when?  Heather and I are going to a Passover Seder tomorrow night, I'd planned to go to the 2-step lesson on Wednesday, and I need to get the project done for Elisa as well.  Of course, I do NOT give up my Thursday night dancing for love or money!  But I will be home on Friday, but that's too late to make the decision.   I really want this resolved no later than Wednesday so I'll just have to make time! 

Enough babbling for tonight.  Time to go mull.

Love and light.