April 24, 2013 Another "be careful what you ask for" kind of day.

I should know better!  I really should!  I've had enough experience to know that if I'm having dream-free nights, I should just enjoy them while I can!  But noooooo!  I have to comment..even complain about the quiet! 

So what do I get for my troubles this time?  Dreams filled with espionage and murder!  Worse yet, I didn't wake up feeling horrified as much as unrested!  (And I really have to stop watching NCIS: Los Angeles right before I go to sleep!) 

I thought, though, that once awake, it would all just fade away like most dreams do, but not only did it stick with me, but my physical self seemed to react by being progressively more nauseous, light headed and headachey as the day went by, causing me to miss a dance class I really wanted to attend!  DRAT! 

However, I have another theory about today's physical ailments to toss out tonight.  Let me know what you think.

More and more, I'm realizing that the work I'm doing, while it can be interesting and certainly pays the bills, is not making my soul sing.  I'm just not living my passion, work-wise.  I am making small steps towards bringing more passion into my work life, but the going is slow, mostly because I, myself, am not moving fast enough.  So it occurs to me that perhaps the physical maladies are my soul's way of telling me that I need to pick up the pace because it's tired of waiting for the real fun to begin!  Essentially, my soul is sickening while I do work that doesn't feed it. 

Does this make any sense? 

It also seems that by dancing and exercising one of my passions, I've kept a lot of the sickness at bay, but only to a point.

Thinking back to the years when wasn't dancing because the girls' activities took up all of my time, I recall being depressed, defensive and exhausted all the time.  Bringing regular dance nights back into my schedule has strengthened my physical self, increasing energy levels and causing me to add more activity as time goes on, but is the same required for my mental self?  Is it time to add passion and exercise to that part of me which may be unseen, but is certainly not unfelt? 

The thoughts are now out there.  I look forward to the quest for the answers.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I was able to fix my breakfasts and lunches for the next two days, in spite of a very jumpy stomach (talk about well set habits!)
2. I am grateful to my son-in-law who was able to medicate my cat alone while I slept!
3. I am grateful for dreams which sometimes just get my attention, sometimes, answer questions I have, and still others, alert me to something I need to know.
4. I am grateful for a job which leaves me time to ponder.
5. I am grateful for dance nights which restore my energy and positive outlook.

Love and light.