Tonight, I sit at my computer, surrounded by cats (what a surprise, huh?) who are making sure I'm aware that I left them all alone with nothing but each other for 14 hours today! 14 long hours when all they had to do was eat, sleep, chase each other around the house and sleep some more. I'm a terrible cat parent! Just ask them. They'll be happy to tell you in graphic detail!
While I'm trying to organize thoughts which are evading all of my efforts at making some kind of order, I am serenaded by the "sweet" sounds of my 15 year old calico, Patches, growling at her 8 year old brother, Dylan who still thinks that he's a kitten who needs to chase anything (or better still, anyONE) that moves!
The truth is, my mind, tonight, is a chaotic mess of plans, conversations, ideas and to-do lists! As I wander through the mental jungle of bills to pay, cleaning to do, a friend to contact to ask about writers' workshops, a couple of books I need to read and of course, writing I need to do, it's no wonder I can't settle and that, once again, my dreams are keeping me up at night.
What I did find interesting was that, in one dream, I was carrying around my own little bar stool and remember thinking how glad I was to have it as there were a couple of extra people at our table and now I had a place to sit! What makes it so interesting is that we DID have two extra people at our table tonight, though we seemed to manage to keep rotating around so that someone was always either on the dance floor or wandering around visiting. But having that little blip from a dream actually occur has me wondering if my clairvoyance is starting to wake up again.
It's been a number of years now since I have had vividly detailed dreams which were actually precognitive, right down to the color shirt or dress someone was wearing. In my teens and twenties, it was a bit disturbing, but now, I think I'd just find it interesting and would start watching for those dreams that were less weird and unreliable and more believable and plausible.
It has also been quite some time since I would know that the phone was going to ring, who would be calling and what they would be calling about. I also haven't thought about someone I hadn't seen in awhile, only to turn a corner and there they were! But on this full moon night, I can believe that anything is possible!
In the Tarot, there are two cards in the Major Arcana which have always both drawn and intrigued me. One is the Moon and the other is the High Priestess. Both, in their own way, represent the unknown, the other side of the veil, imagination, subconscious, intuition. There are times when the veil between what we see and what we sense are thinner than others. The full moon is one of those times.
If we allow ourselves to be still, let our minds quiet, take what comes to us at face value and turn off that computer which analyzes all it experiences, we might just tap into something which takes us far beyond what is reasonable and normal and into something so amazing that our conscious mind will refuse to believe that it is really there.
I personally eschew the use of drugs or other mind altering methods which are frequently used to tear down the barriers, finding that if I get there while fully present, via meditation, I can actually bring back what I learn while I'm there. Granted, some who manage to reach this remarkable place where the rules are not so hard and fast, may not want to remember what they experience as it can be, at the very least, quite disturbing. The key, I think, is to allow rational, logical thought to take a holiday while visiting this lesser known realm.
I liken it to Alice falling down the rabbit hole. If you try to make sense of what you're seeing by utilizing your normal experiences, it could, quite possibly, drive you mad. If, however, you just accept that what you see, feel and hear are, without needing to understand why or how they got there, the only risk you run is of learning something new.
A child will watch in wonder as fireworks explode over their head, the shapes and colors simply causing awe. They don't need to understand how they got there, just that they are there and are amazing! So, too, should it be as we look behind the veil and see the miraculous. Instead of trying to understand, we can just be amazed at the wonder of it all.
As adults, we draw further and further from our acceptance that there is magic in our world. We outgrow fairy tales and dragons, focusing instead on earning a living, raising our kids, pursuing a career that brings us no joy, just money to live on. A precious few hold onto the wonder, the imagination, the joy of being which was part of childhood.
The more I focus on what brings me joy, what I'm passionate about, where I want to go, the more I realize that I, too, took the easy way out and became part of the norm. It is high time I broke out of that, and sooner rather than later!
So my goals for the next 30 days are:
1. Finish Writer's Digest.
2. Start working on something I can query, then submit.
3. Get a copy of "Quitter" by John Acuff which was recommended by a friend. (and of course, READ it!)
4. Talk to some friends about writers' workshops.
5. Put a plan in motion that will get me off the hamster wheel!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I can still recognize the wonder in the world.
2. I am grateful for the vision which will see my writing published in the near future.
3. I am grateful for fairies and dragons and witches and flying monkeys.
4. I am grateful for the reopening of my clairvoyance.
5. I am grateful for an abundance of opportunities to play in the world where things don't follow the rules.
Love and light.
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