March 11, 2012 The Phoenix rises from the ashes...

Yesterday, after several days of dancing, walking and just running around, I did a glorious crash and burn, going to bed at an unprecedented 10:00 PM and sleeping until almost 8:00AM!  Clearly, my body was telling me that, although it enjoyed all of the exercise, it needed time to recoup. 

After a solid 8 plus hours of work today, I resumed my normal pace, doing laundry, making dinner, getting the trash out, making breakfast and lunch for the next two days and cleaning the kitchen.  It feels great to be back on track with the chores, at least.  Now to get the exercise routine back on track!  As I have everything ready for tomorrow, I should be able to drag myself out of bed, despite it being rather dark now that the time has changed, and do at least a little bit of stretching and exercising before my week of dance begins again on Wednesday.  The cats were delighted to have me working from home again, and alternated between hanging out with me in my office and taking over my bed. 

Interestingly, where I was, for awhile there, able to sit in front of the TV for hours on my nights at home, I'm finding that I get more than a little impatient now and won't just watch something out of boredom.  Instead, I'll turn the bloody thing OFF out of boredom and go find something else to do!  I see this as a great improvement along with finally adding Wednesdays back to my weekly dancing.  I'm hoping to start going to the gym either Monday or Tuesday and once on the weekends, though I'll be doing it alone as my daughter has a fitness room at her apartment and has been really good about using it!  I do have to say that I was sorely tempted to make use of her jacuzzi last night, had I been able to move that far! But I woke up reasonably ache free and didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to take Aleve, so I guess my body really does like to be used and abused! 

I'm also finding that trash nights, which used to wipe me out, now seem to wire me up instead!   By the time I clean the sandboxes, empty all of the trash receptacles and take the barrels to the curb, I'm ready to end my TV watching, do some chores, make lunches and write. 

In a nutshell, I'm really loving the changes I'm experiencing with regard to energy, motivation and stamina!  Like Joy and Gratitude, the more I expend, the more I seem to have!  That is not to say that the changes take hold the first time, every time.  Not at all!  Many times, I find myself doing really well with something for a few days, then slacking off, but the difference is, after a few days or even a couple of weeks of slacking, I'll get a new burst of inspiration and start up again!  Even with the writing, I found myself skipping a day, then two and even three at times, until I realized what was doing and put a stop to it.  As is quite apparent, I don't always have much to say, but can usually squeeze out a few hundred words on a bad day and a couple of thousand on a good one!  (yes, I know, there have been several good ones of late, and very few bad ones.) 

I am extremely grateful that I learned how to type quickly because there are times when my brain is spinning so fast, only very quick fingers could possibly get everything down before the thought is gone and my ADHD brain is three topics ahead.  The only saving grace is that if I sit here long enough, the original topic will come back around! 

Talking to a friend the other day, the subject of ADHD and how we attract friends came up.  We talked about how we ADHDers tend to jump from topic to topic like manic chipmunks and only someone with a similar pattern can not only follow us, but keep up with us and not miss a beat when we return to a topic we were discussing 20 or 30 minutes ago, and pick up right where we left off.  I used to think it was just me and that I was just not like anyone else, but as I've grown older and let go of a lot of my negative thinking, I'm finding that most of my friends are the same way.  If we just let go of our preconceived notions of being weird, we tend to gravitate towards each other anyway.    (and as I type that, I suddenly run out of steam on the topic and start to drift down another, as yet undefined path).

I'm taking a rather twisted path through some conversations I've had lately with a couple of men who have become discouraged about finding someone in what they consider the appropriate age range.  My first thought when I listen to them is that they are putting out the wrong signals "I'm never going to find..."  or "There just aren't any women in that age range..."  Either way, they're getting exactly what they're putting out there, and it's a huge reminder to me to make sure that I'm putting out thoughts of kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor and either already dances or has a desire to learn, not for someone else, but for himself.  And of course, he needs to be able to keep up with my ADHD brain.  But the reality is, as I said to a friend the other day, in many ways, I miss my high school and college days when we ran around in groups and were all just a bunch of good friends, first.  People did pair off, but it typically just sort of happened rather than anyone looking for more than the easy friendships we had.  So I think that's really what I want to put out to the Universe for right now.  A fun, active, intelligent, positive group of friends to hang out with both dancing and for other activities as well, be it hiking or dinner or a show or a game night.  It really doesn't matter what because the who is what makes it fun! 

And on that note, I will obey Toby who is sitting at my feet looking wistful as he needs his warm, soft bed to lay on for the next few hours, the poor, spoiled darling.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that my body can still spring back from several days of excessive activity.
2. I am grateful for friends who make me think and dream.
3. I am grateful for my dancing and the friends I make through it.
4. I am grateful for an abundance of positive energy, both given and received these days.
5. I am grateful for continued success, health, energy and prosperity.

Love and light.