October 24, 2012 Enlightening discoveries

I was having a rather trying morning today, and was really working myself up into a lather, but ultimately, it led to an interesting discovery.  When I sat down to meditate as is my habit during my lunch hour, I found myself mentally continuing my rant towards a couple of co-workers.  As I wound myself down, I found myself thinking, OK, now I've got that out of my system, I can forgive them for their actions and myself for reacting, send them love and let it all go.  And that is EXACTLY what I did!!!  In essence, I gave myself permission to release the anger,  frustration and annoyance and just move on.  I ended up having one of the most enervating meditations I'd had in quite awhile, emerging refreshed and in my joy once again.  What I learned from this experience is that we really do need to allow ourselves to vent at times, but after the venting, we need to regain our positive outlook through forgiveness and love, both for others and, most especially, for ourselves. 

Later in the day, I got a call offering me a class I had earlier discussed with another co-worker in which we both agreed that management would not be willing to expend the necessary funds for me to attend.  Not only was I offered the opportunity and asked if I was interested, but my opinion was sought as to who else might benefit, and what would be gained from the experience.  I truly believe that by putting my anger aside, I attracted good things.  What an epiphany that was! 

As I ponder my last sentence, I realize that I have been experiencing an awful lot of epiphanies lately!  Could it be connected with the conscious opening of my heart?  There's a thought I'll ponder for awhile as I work on getting my dinner made and some evening chores done. 

Thinking about it, I've been offered a lot of challenges lately, from which I have gained valuable lessons.  While some things continue to challenge me, I know that, whether I see it or not, I'm getting closer to mastering those lessons too.  So I get an amazing sense of accomplishment, even as a new challenge is placed before me.  I can congratulate myself on successfully learning, knowing all the while that the lessons will keep coming and meeting them head on makes me stronger, better and yes, happier.  I watch as friends begin clearing negativity and clutter from their lives and can clearly see the road I've traveled and how far I've come.  I know that I can handle whatever I'm given, and that learning gives me the tools to take another step up in my climb to the next level.  I am no longer afraid because I have exactly what I need to succeed and accomplish my next goal.  In so doing, even more tools will be acquired for my use in facing the new challenges which always come on the heels of another success.  Thus, my brain keeps expanding to accommodate all of the new knowledge! 

After releasing the negativity and focusing on love and forgiveness, I found myself imagining my life in 5 and 10 years, and what I saw made me smile hugely.  I saw myself healthy and fit, relaxing in my fully remodeled home, sipping a glass of wine with a friend while my cats were lounging around the room or in my lap, as is their habit.  My office was completely organized and I had several projects in process.  There was a feeling of enormous love and well-being.  I felt a huge sigh as I settled back into the sofa cushions and just enjoyed being me.  And I felt extremely grateful for the abundance in my life. 

And as I envision, so shall it be.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for challenges which lead to lessons.
2. I am grateful that I've learned to forgive and love.
3. I am grateful for quiet evenings at home to balance out the hours I spend working and playing.
4. I am grateful for pleasant surprises.
5. I am grateful for opportunities to learn and grow and become a better me.
and an extra one tonight: 
6. I am grateful for meditations which help me open my mind and heart to possibilities beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Love and light.