November 15, 2012 Lessons, lessons everywhere, but not a drop to drink! There must be rum!

As I looked at the pictures of the latest AHS reunion, the first I'd actually missed, it led me to thoughts of why I didn't make a bigger effort to attend.  Those thoughts led me back to the man who'd introduced the dishonest contractor into my life, and I started feeling some ugly thoughts when, suddenly, it occurred to me that both men were put into my life to help me learn a lesson, and suddenly, everything snapped into perspective!  (that is not to say that I don't still want my money back, and not just what I was awarded, but ALL of it, but I understand that what I lose is part of the lesson.)  What a discovery after a year of being aggravated!  Think of all the time I've wasted, but then, I'm sure the aggravation was part of the lesson too.  I know that, over the last week or so, I've begun approaching things much more calmly and even, in some cases, systematically.  I'm not allowing myself to stress out over the small stuff, and even some of the larger ones.  I am doing my best to maintain a demeanor, not only of calm, but of gratitude.

So now I'm wondering if some of the changes I've been feeling have to do with an almost emergence from the cocoon kind of thing.  I've been the stressed out, cranky, overreactive person.  I've gone through years of being borderline depressed.  I've managed frustration, both badly and well.  Is it coming time for me to take the lessons I've learned and teach?  Am I now to be the voice of reason, the shelter in a sea of chaos, the one who helps put things into perspective and makes everything "small stuff"?

One thing I do know is that I feel much better when I respond calmly rather than reacting.  Instead of needing to forgive myself, I can be grateful for having handled a difficult situation well instead of badly.  I do realize that this new state will continue to require practice, and I won't always get it right, but the fact that I'm getting it right more often now is, to me, a HUGE step!

Questions are now coming at me rapidly.  One of them that is resonating loudly right now has to do with the fact that I'm letting go of negative energy.  Will this allow me to focus on generating and utilizing healing energy more effectively  now?  When I rub my hands together, will I feel the heat that healing energy raises?    And if I am, indeed, becoming a better conduit for healing energy, will I be able to use it for emotional as well as physical healing?  That I even think of it makes be believe that it is all very possible.  I don't think the thought would occur to me otherwise.  And these thoughts are leaving me very excited a the idea of limitless possibilities.  And as my mantra right now is "believing is seeing", as I believe, it must be!

Now, instead of a headslap, I feel like I've just gotten a Universal high five!  Awesome!!!

Dancing was short and sweet tonight.  I just didn't feel the energy I normally do so I left a bit early.  I came home to find that I had the solution to the car parked in my driveway.  The city very kindly offered me a way to get it removed, especially since it was offending their sensibilities.  I will call tomorrow and encourage them to remove it. :)  Things do have a way of working themselves out.  I have even greater hopes for the future of my remodel too!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for problem resolutions which arrive in unexpected manners.
2. I am grateful for shared laughter with friends.
3. I am grateful for cold, rainy weather.
4. I am grateful for Fridays.
5. I am grateful for my warm bed piled high with kitties waiting to snuggle.

Love and light.