November 7, 2012 Just thinking it over.

The last few days have been rather tense, work-wise, but making sure I get my meditation in and focusing on allowing is really helping.   I can't say I'm happy about how things are shaking out, but as none of it is in my control, I'm resolved to accept, release and move on to the things which are within my control, or at least, can be influenced by my allowing. 

When someone tries to speak to me as if I am beneath them, I nod and walk away.  When it annoys them when later, I am distant, I am not sorry as I am giving them the distance they requested, nothing more, nothing less.  As I have discovered that allowing the distance to shrink makes them think that they can behave inappropriately, I do my best to save us both the trouble.  Their negative behaviour reflects badly on both of us.  And because I can distance myself, I found myself, during my meditation thinking, "I do love the deep down, kind center of you, despite the fact that you lock it up behind a facade of ugliness.  Just know that I do love the inner you because we are connected, are part of the same whole."  Reaching these little epiphanies always results in a deeper, more intense meditation.  So I am grateful for the conflicts as they remind me to find the love. 

The friends I have made over the last few years are really pulling together now, doing what we can to be there for each other and open our eyes and ears for opportunities for all concerned.  I am gratified to be part of this wonderful, intelligent, inspirational, compassionate, forward thinking group of people.    They inspire me to continue improving my skills and my knowledge.

Knowledge and experience are all part of this learning process we call the Human Existence.  Without them, we simply waste our time on earth.  But to take each challenge, each seeming setback as a chance to learn something new, something valuable without which we would not be ready for the next steps along our path is truly what makes this Human Existence worth the time we spend here.  To celebrate each others' victories and to be supportive during the lessons which we sometimes mistakenly call failures adds so much depth and value to this life we are here to lead.  As I am learning to not only be grateful for the person who allows me to merge in front of them on the freeway, but also to the one who allows me to be kind and let them merge, I am also learning to appreciate both the people who cheer me on and support me as much as those who allow me to do so for them. 

In the tarot, and I will refer to the Spiral Tarot in this case, the Six of Pentacles depicts a king, a blind pauper and a woman of some means standing together with their hands joined.  The card refers to the value of giving as well as receiving; of being blessed to be allowed to give, and also to be allowed to receive.  Generosity of spirit is not satisfied if one is always the giver as the recipients are not afforded the joy which comes with doing for another.  The same is true of always being the recipient.  The giver is not afforded the joy of allowing someone to do for them.  And it's not all about money or goods.  Even the poorest person, financially, has qualities within themselves which allow them to give, and so often, the giving of oneself, instead of being treasured for the amazing gift it is, will be minimized because it lacks intrinsic, measurable monetary value.  But what monetary value exists in holding a door for someone, leaving space on a busy freeway or being a little patient while a handicapped person takes a little more time to walk through a gate?  Conversely, how much will a person grow by giving a homeless person a dollar when they pass them on the street, not looking into their eyes, just letting go of a little cash?  Wouldn't both parties be better served by bringing them some healthy food and maybe something for the dog who keeps them safe?  Sure, it takes a little more effort, but just like the concept of risks and rewards, greater effort yields greater personal growth.  And maybe, in making that exchange, you'll find that the person who has been forced to beg on the streets can really inspire you with their wisdom and outlook on life, if they're just given a chance to share some of what they know instead of being passed by like a piece of litter on the street.

I guess my point, after rambling on for a bit is that as we attend to our Spiritual growth, the rest of our life will fall into place because we are focusing on the things that bring joy, not only to ourselves but to our fellow travelers through the Universe.  Yes, I do believe that we are all Universal time travelers, enjoying the current experience, but knowing that what we learn in this lifetime will be utilized in the next ones, just as the knowledge we gain from our experiences now will be vital to the experiences yet to come. 

My gratitudes tonight are:

1. I am grateful for the opportunities I am being afforded to learn and grow.
2. I am grateful for people who help me learn by the amazing examples they set.
3. I am grateful for quiet evenings with my cats to offset tensions in other parts of my life.
4. I am grateful for the healing powers of the Universe. 
5. I am grateful for the opportunities to be both a giver and a receiver. 

Love and light.